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#1
You are Larry, an average male in his mid (late) twenties. You have put on a few pounds since your glory days in high school, a constant reminder of what you are now in comparison to what could have been. You are of average height with brown hair styled by what your pillow, with Pokémon themed cover, decides for you. There is absolutely nothing special or exiting about your completely insipid existence. You live in a small town in a state no one ever remembers in whereverthe**** USA. You live with your parents, mother Lisa and father Igor, and have never left your home town aside from one trip to Disney Land when you were a child, a memory repressed because if the incident that occurred, one never brought up or mentioned and seething in your subconscious for your entire childhood. You work at the local butchers shop as a clerk, nine to five, the only work that fit with the incredibly mundane and average existence you seem to have striven for, yet loathe so much.


It is 5 o’ clock on a Wednesday morning, much earlier than your average start of around 8:30…

You
a)Get the **** up.
b)Moan “**** that shit!” apathetically to no one but the goldfish, Terry, belly-up to the side on your counter.
c)Fap

--------------------------------------------------------------


Note: This will most likely fail, not be updated often, be of poor quality, and be full of language and grammer failures. I have not written something considered fiction in years, it will show. 5 votes=decision.
#5
C), Swagfap
Quote by devourke
I love you bro. I'd totally turn gay for you after that.

November 13th, 2011. Nodincap.

LoL: Kublai Dong

MC: StealthTurtle
Twitter
Last.fm
#6
If I woke up that early and had those 3 choices, it would be C.
Rig:
Jackson SLSMG/Ibanez S470QS/Charvel DS-1 -> JCA100H/BV50H -> Carvin V212

Quote by JamSessionFreak
Some of my farts last longer than Axe does.
#7
God you bunch of impotent cunts its like all of you wanted this but you wont accept it accept it please


Also, C it is, I guess I'll write it at some point.
Last edited by Well....... at Nov 23, 2011,
#10
is there a "reset" button?
Quote by BlackVoid
Every guitar and bass forum I've visited has some people chasing some magical tone that will shoot jizzing unicorns riding on a rainbow out of their amp.
#12
Quote by Well.......
Is there a shut the **** up button?



You seemed to have found the 'umad.jpg' button.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#13
I think I'll post what I wrote tomorrow, when its more active here. It'll get more interesting, just give it a bit.
#14
hey bro

3 votes

3 votes = decision
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#16
Quote by Well.......
Is there a shut the **** up button?


How should i know, you are the one making this.
Quote by BlackVoid
Every guitar and bass forum I've visited has some people chasing some magical tone that will shoot jizzing unicorns riding on a rainbow out of their amp.
#17
Quote by Well.......
Is there a shut the **** up button?

Yeah, it's right here


Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#20
No one cares about stories about boring people. Boring people make boring stories.

Try again except this time, add in a twist.

You are Larry, an average male in his mid (late) twenties. You have put on a few pounds since your glory days in high school, a constant reminder of what you are now in comparison to what could have been. You are of average height with brown hair styled by what your pillow, with Pokémon themed cover, decides for you. There is absolutely nothing special or exiting about your completely insipid existence. You live in a small town in a state no one ever remembers in whereverthe**** USA. You live with your parents, mother Lisa and father Igor, and have never left your home town aside from one trip to Disney Land when you were a child, a memory repressed because if the incident that occurred, one never brought up or mentioned and seething in your subconscious for your entire childhood. You work at the local butchers shop as a clerk, nine to five, the only work that fit with the incredibly mundane and average existence you seem to have striven for, yet loathe so much.


It is 5 o’ clock on a Wednesday morning, much earlier than your average start of around 8:30, when the biggest man you've ever seen bursts through the door. His beard touches the floor, and you suspect that his smell isn't that far from dinosaur. "Who are you? What do you want?" you try to say.

"Mmh?" you say instead.
"You're a wizard, Larry," he replies.

DO YOU
a) roll over and go back to sleep
b) kick his ass
c) spend the rest of your life playing with wands and fighting a man whose only friend is a talking snake

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#21
^^^

I'd pick.... B
Hugging Thread; I'm here to help


Oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wannna watch
Another uninnocent, elegant fall
Into the unmagnificent lives of adults


It's Tessa, not Tesse please.
#23
Quote by Well.......
When it gets to it, it will be much more enjoyable than a shitty Harry Potter reference.

That post was actually the best thing about this thread. Sorry.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#25
I don't like you people, you don't deserve me.


--------------------------------------------------------------------

c)Fap

In your early morning delirium, and with the fresh recollection of a very sensual dream involving one of your mother’s bingo partners and large ham, you decide to fap against your muffled thoughts not to and your semi-flaccid state. You persist tirelessly through this, confused and disgusted at yourself. Not only because of Nancy’s physical appearance, which is akin to that of a motorized troll, but because, amid your confusion, you failed to notice that for around ten seconds your mother had been standing in you doorway. She had heard your repeated gruntings of “Nancy” and to a lesser extent “ham”; she had been through this all with a perplexed look you had not seen since the incident. You quickly turn around to, at least, avoid eye contact while you hear her steps slowly fading. You get up quickly, change, and neglect the few tasks of maintaining hygiene even you do. You quickly dart out of the house, not running into anyone, but, when outside, see your odd neighbor across the street watering the patch of dirt that is his lawn, which looked freshly churned in some parts. You know you can’t go to work now, you don’t have any friends to see, and your extended family doesn’t like you around their children, an idea that was wholly misconceived. You didn’t mean to pop the jumping castle when you were in it, you use the knife for your job, not children. With nowhere to go you…


a)Lounge around the cafe, where the waitress you find attractive works, but you think notices that you come in everyday your off.
b)Walk aimlessly around.
#27
Quote by Well.......
I don't like you people, you don't deserve me.


--------------------------------------------------------------------

c)Fap

In your early morning delirium, and with the fresh recollection of a very sensual dream involving one of your mother’s bingo partners and large ham, you decide to fap against your muffled thoughts not to and your semi-flaccid state. You persist tirelessly through this, confused and disgusted at yourself. Not only because of Nancy’s physical appearance, which is akin to that of a motorized troll, but because, amid your confusion, you failed to notice that for around ten seconds your mother had been standing in you doorway. She had heard your repeated gruntings of “Nancy” and to a lesser extent “ham”; she had been through this all with a perplexed look you had not seen since the incident. You quickly turn around to, at least, avoid eye contact while you hear her steps slowly fading. You get up quickly, change, and neglect the few tasks of maintaining hygiene even you do. You quickly dart out of the house, not running into anyone, but, when outside, see your odd neighbor across the street watering the patch of dirt that is his lawn, which looked freshly churned in some parts. You know you can’t go to work now, you don’t have any friends to see, and your extended family doesn’t like you around their children, an idea that was wholly misconceived. You didn’t mean to pop the jumping castle when you were in it, you use the knife for your job, not children. With nowhere to go you…


a)Lounge around the cafe, where the waitress you find attractive works, but you think notices that you come in everyday your off.
b)Walk aimlessly around.



THIS MAN IS CHARLIE KELLY

i vote a
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#28
Yes, I realize the similarity there, I just need a few directions for this to go.


Note: Do not picture Larry as Charlie Day.
#31
What's the point in making an adolescent run around fapping, impregnating girls, and beating people like in the other one?


Entertainment.
#32
Quote by Well.......
What's the point in making an adolescent run around fapping, impregnating girls, and beating people like in the other one?


Entertainment.




2/10 TS. Try not to try so hard next time.
#33
Quote by Well.......
What's the point in making an adolescent run around fapping, impregnating girls, and beating people like in the other one?


Entertainment.



You see this, TS? This is a squeaky toy. Try making it squeak.

Loads of entertainment.
ggg1 ggg3

.
#34
Quote by Tanglewoodguit


2/10 TS. Try not to try so hard next time.


I don't understand where you're coming from. There have been plenty of fun, successful CYOAs on UG.
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