#1
So, I had a field day writing and recording this piece... Its a seventeen-minute long hybrid of progressive rock and grunge borrowing heavily from both Pink Floyd and Stone Temple Pilots, and I'm looking for criticism. I've been working on mixing the song for a few days, and I intend to add a few extras in there, mostly vocal harmonies in some spots. Tell me what you think, and I'll send you a crit back! Just be sure to post a link to your thread!

The song is here:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6226271/Pre-Mixes%20and%20Public%20Songs/BL%20Fin3.mp3

While the lyrics are here:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6226271/Born%20Leaders.rtf

(The song is actually longer than the UG Limit for uploads, which is 15 minutes long. I feel like that is a bit of an accomplishment, provided I can keep your attention throughout!)

Happy hunting!

#2
Hey cool piece of music - I thought the drums sound a bit "flat"(not sure what advice to give on how to fix but they seem not too clear and a bit soft) and the first lead bit could probably be a little softer it comes across very sharp.The effects noise part near the middle would be cool after a joint but probably goes on a bit long for your average listener.The change after the noise ensamble takes the song in a totally new direction - very cool. Over all quite an epic piece but could do with ironing out a few wrinkles. Good job.
#4
Is it you singing? Nice deep voice. Heard of porcupine tree? Reminds me of them... Like the bass playing around 4.40, and at 5 minutes it sonds like steve steven wilson! Nice job dude, i have really nothing to complain about!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1497974
#6
First of all, thanks for the crit. Really you have about three strong songs there I love the guitars, quite low fi - which is fantastic to my ears.. the proggyness of everything is something I've been attempting with my band recently, so it's very nice to hear. The vocals would really benefit from being double tracked in my opinion, it wasn't that they wasn't strong, they just got lost in the mix a few times. I think you have a great voice. The drums sound a bit soft, but I liked the snare sound. And although I liked the solos, they were a little too loud for me. You might want to consider redoing the mix to smooth everything out, because I think the track is ace... Especially when those weird ass sound effects come, which reminded me of echoes... and the bassline is like a fast careful with that axe eugene by the Floyd, which I hear you're a fan of.

Congratulations on recording a track this long by the way. It takes me the best half of forever to get anything of this magnitude done. Are all the instruments recorded by you?
#7
Overall this is a fantastic song. Definitely very Porcupine Tree, the prog elements were excellent. My only 'big' gripe about this is the middle section with the sound effects drags for a tad too long, and I'm a giant prog head. For people who don't listen to prog they might get bored too quickly

Other than that, the rhythm guitar seemed a bit off-time at certain parts in the first half, it wasn't noticeable until the drums and bass came in, and even then it wasn't too big of a deal. Your voice also got drowned out when the first solo came in, which is a good indication that the solos were a bit too loud.

The guitar playing was great, and I loved the organ just before the middle section. Like others have said before, this just needs a few more tweaks in the mixing and mastering process and it'll be superb.

Feel free to check out the remastered version of one of my songs, let me know what you think!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1500861

#8
Quote by Alkaline 64
First of all, thanks for the crit. Really you have about three strong songs there I love the guitars, quite low fi - which is fantastic to my ears.. the proggyness of everything is something I've been attempting with my band recently, so it's very nice to hear. The vocals would really benefit from being double tracked in my opinion, it wasn't that they wasn't strong, they just got lost in the mix a few times. I think you have a great voice. The drums sound a bit soft, but I liked the snare sound. And although I liked the solos, they were a little too loud for me. You might want to consider redoing the mix to smooth everything out, because I think the track is ace... Especially when those weird ass sound effects come, which reminded me of echoes... and the bassline is like a fast careful with that axe eugene by the Floyd, which I hear you're a fan of.

Congratulations on recording a track this long by the way. It takes me the best half of forever to get anything of this magnitude done. Are all the instruments recorded by you?



Yup, all of em.

I'm getting the idea that the noise is a bit long, so I'm gonna think about maybe trying to exert some drumming muscle there. My friend is gonna do random noise effects in there, and maybe I'll just throw random stuff in so it isn't quite as... Dense?
#9
L2112Lif,
The vocals could be louder at the beginning. Most of the vocals are good (though slightly pitchy at times). The first part reminded me of REM for some reason. Nice lead guitar at 4:00. The noises at 8:30 are interesting, but it goes too long with noise. Nice melodies, playing, and recording overall (though I think this song could easily be 5 minutes shorter). At 10:00 I'm thinking Floyd with Geddy Lee (Rush) singing. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1499189