#1
So I came up with what I think is a pretty cool riff the other day. I tabbed it out and added drums and bass. Then I added a clean break and a solo in each section. Anyhow, I wanted to hear other people's thoughts on this "piece." All input is appreciated and as always... C4C.
Attachments:
Djentcore.gp5
The clock strikes midnight
When tomorrow and today collide
The moon is at its highest
And the twilight seems fitting
For in these moments
The light at the end of the world
Shines like a thousand suns....


Victor Gutierrez
#2
Hey there

I think this is pretty cool, nice riffs you got there, when I saw djent on the thread title I thought it woulde be either something very interesting or very boring

Well, the first riff is great, and the drums are nice. Nice. The lead after is cool, reminds me of Wave of Babies (Animals as Leaders), but I don't know why xD. Anyway, cool solo.

The clean part is really great! I like the way you worked with the chords, and the drums are nice too. The solo here is more melodic, I like it better than the first one...

Well, that's it i guess. I can't say anything helpful, but great riffs you got there.

And if you wanna C4C you could check this link https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1489244
#3
Well, you got some great riffs there. The only real problem I find is the one section where youu have the 16th note bass scale, you need to get yourself a good bassplayer for that. Maybe raising it an octave wouldn''t be a bad idea either. I like the clean chords and the last section with the guitar ringing out the best. Overall, it needs some work to be fleshed out into a proper song; but it has some great potential.
The clock strikes midnight
When tomorrow and today collide
The moon is at its highest
And the twilight seems fitting
For in these moments
The light at the end of the world
Shines like a thousand suns....


Victor Gutierrez
#4
What you've got here is a very good and very original post hardcore piece. Excellent leads, clean part was lovely too.
Not djent though, at all.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
#5
Update: I added a whole bunch of other sections into the song. Namely: A pre-chorus, chorus, 6/8 section after the clean break, followed by a throw back into the first two sections and finally a more metalcore outro break. I also added a "secret" extra instrument.
Attachments:
Djentcore.gp5
The clock strikes midnight
When tomorrow and today collide
The moon is at its highest
And the twilight seems fitting
For in these moments
The light at the end of the world
Shines like a thousand suns....


Victor Gutierrez
#6
Sounds pretty good but I wasn't fond of the rhythm guitars in the intro. They are a little too bland and simple compared to the rest of the song. I also feel the intro is supposed to catch you and want you to listen to the rest so maybe working on that could help the song a bit.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)