I'm a 90's Alternative influenced band called Truman's Medulla. Look us up on facebook if you'd like, but we don't have any material posted yet. Anyway..

So, here's the rundown. I used to be in a Punk Rock band with guys I got along great with, problem was..we sucked. Our drummer was flat out awful. We wrote some decent songs when performed well. I quit that band and got more serious with my current band. We decided to pick up a female singer who I've known for a good while. We're all on the same page musically, but we're into different stuff... We can all perform well the majority of the time. Our bassist, who is also a girl (but not a girly girl...a badass punk lesbian ****ing awesome girl) writes most of the stuff, our singer's been through some really tough shit, and doesn't feel comfortable singing a lot of the really dark stuff our bassist can write, and she's the youngest of us all. She listens to a lot of pop though and isn't familiar with our music that well. Anyone have advice on how we can all settle our differences? It's not creating arguments or anything but we're just not sure how to make everyone completely satisfied. Also, our drummer is moving about an hour away. Is anyone else dealing with something like this? How can we make that work? How often should we practice like that? He's a pretty busy dude.
the nice thing about alternative rock is how it has so many influences...i mean if you listen to someone like nirvana they were inspired by pop bands like the beatles to hard core punk music...they then managed to package that into a rock song
A whole lot of writing for two effective problems.

1. Singer doesn't want to sing some lyrics. He can modify them.

2. Drummer is moving away, maybe. Either drive longer or break up the band or replace the drummer.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
Trade off, maybe? Why not do some pop influenced songs and some darker songs? The Ramones were kings of doing that, listen to a little of their lesser known stuff to get and idea of what I mean.

You can balance it out by being more heavy musically during lighter lyrically songs, and being lighter musically through the heavy stuff.

Linkage for examples:
Poison Heart
Pet Semetary
We want the airwaves
Do You Wanna Dance?
Actually, I go by Dave, but there are already too many Daves on this forum.

Fender MIM Stratocaster
Fender Jaguar Bass
Epiphone EJ200 Super Jumbo
Fender Excelsior 13w
Acoustic B300HD (with matching 1x12 cab)
NYC Big Muff Pi
My band:

Singer/guitarist: 80 power metal influence
Drummer/singer: Jazz
Bass/vocals (me): 90's hardcore/ modern folk...

It's the difference in influence that make bands interesting to listen to
Dont have your bassist write your music alone,
if she has ideas, come together and write something that everyones feeling.
If your vocalist is sitting with you guys when the musics being written, he has the ability to say "hey, im not digging that riff, could we try something a little more _____ there?"
As for your drummer,
our drummer lives an hour and a half a way from us,
we make it work by jamming every weekend, either at his place, or ours.
just tell your drummer that, if he's serious about this band, he needs to get a place where you guys can jam to compensate the fact that he's moving. After that, just car pool over there.
it can get expensive, but if you real feel potential in the band your in now, then its worth it.
good luck man.