#1
I can see you when i close my eyes.

Free Line Song writing ik it doesn't rhyme and ik it doesn't have a chorus but heres a song i wrote resently


I can hear your voice when the wind sweeps by.
I can see your face in the setting sun.
I wanna make you happy.
I need you in my life.
With every breath a reminder.
With every step one step closer too you.
With every sun rise i awake to the thought of you.
Our hands together. out lips pressed together.
the warmth of your breath on my neck.
Your voice in my ear sends shivers down my spine.
you wrapped up in my arms a sweet smile on your face.
Sends quivers down my spine.
Ican't picture a world without you.
I can't walk away from you.
I wont walk away from you.
I wont hurt you.
I'll only try to protect you.
I'm always gunna be here for you.
I'm always a phone call away.
I'm always a short walk away.
Never forget about me never forget about us.
#3
Check your spelling.

If I'm being honest, these lyrics are a little creepy.
#5
Yeah, I wouldn't go reciting this to any girls. It sort of rings the "If I so much as look at another guy he'll kill me and himself" type of stalker-bell.

Also, the word you're looking for is Memories*, unless you're trolling, the the memery should be Rick Astley.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#6
You should also try to break the lines down a bit. Each line seems to have a different set of syllables and it messes up the structre. Your wording is also a bit confusing and some of it creeped me out a bit like "the breath on my neck" part.
Please call me Rainer, was 16 and empty minded when I made my profile.

Sometimes I talk to myself too...but never on the internet.
#7
I re-read this and i can see where you guys are coming from honastly =/ Excuse the spelling i don't have internet at my house so i have to type all this up at school...Anyways the songs meaning is hey i wont leave you i'm always gonna be here for you and i'll always protect you the the part "Breath on my neck" is for when the girl i wrote this for would always run up behind me and give me a hug and the first thing i felt was her breath on my neck so thats where that came from. @Mr.Pink if you knew me you'd know that that is not the case. The girl i wrote this for fully understood why i wrote this song. She was afraid i was gonna leave her and to prove a point i put this together. I know its not my best work.@Joe i don't really understand the break the lines a bit part of your message @ All these lyrics are not supposed to be creepy its just about my 1st love and promises i made her i tried putting it into a song or poetry format. But like i said ^ not my best work.