#1
Spelunking In Caves Etched With Our Names -or- Life on a Clothesline

On days I don't see you
I imagine our shared death
and where to stage it best
not muttering much
just what needs to be said
out loud and under breath
of the hollowed earth
and wildflower beds
where we'll pick
our crowns and
wind them round our hair
as we march up and down
along broken paths
where the worms come up
and crawl up our legs
to our shoulders


Death-bent, lofty graves
tugging upwards on our necks
towards the hills, belched steps
sucking shoeless socks from mud puddles—

the mountain would drain and our feet
would dry were there enough time between clouds
in the hole we call sky, gentle april
on the ridgelines and beneath it moldy
caskets sink deeper through the melt, lime-drip caverns
dig their feet further under ground
making room for us under root water
to drown.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
Last edited by jiminizzle at Nov 29, 2011,
#3
could you possibly have a more beautiful last stanza? jesus jimmy
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#4
U.G.'s Poet Laureate right here.
not going viral


Hot E-Cousin of rjaylaf

Non Evil E-Twin of stealstrings

E-NEMESIS of deathdrummer
#5
proof that death is life. you had me at 'ridgelines'.I'm not sure there should be an -or- here. Just leave it with both titles, because the loss you feel when they're not around, that inspiration for a shred death (a shared car crash seems romantic til you're in one and you see her bleeding). The Only thing I didn't like in this whole poem was 'root water.' It's kind of weird. but the images flow and meld and go line to line and make sense until the picture in my head is something like a coffin flying through the root system of mangroves in the Himalayas. If we can put that together, and still wear colors to a funeral, I think you're onto something here. and whatever you're onto, I'm along for the ride. Nicely done.
#6
I'm just closing these for now, Jimmy. You have three threads on the front page and it's not too fair on others. If you want them re-oped again when they're off the front page just post in the community thread or feedback thread, or PM Allen or I.