#1
It's not enough to see you dancing
It's not enough to hear you laugh
At my stupid jokes
It's not enough to hear you
Whisper my name under flannel sheets
And hold my body like you'll never
Let it go
It's not enough
Oh, it will never be enough
But somehow, somehow
I'm satisfied

I've asked the questions
I've read the books
I've mastered the subjects
And hold a bachelor's degree
I can study your mysteries night and day
Uncover hidden truths about your every little ways
And still never know enough about your love for me
Now all I want to know
All I want to know
All I want to know
All I want to know is
Where will you be when the lights go down
Oh, when the lights go down

It's not enough
Oh, it will never be enough
But somehow, somehow
I'm satisfied
Nothing to see here. Move along.
#2
thought it was good, you could get rid of one "all I want to know" but other than that well done
#4
See how it looks without the fear of the person not being there when the lights go down. Your main thought here is that despite so and so, you're satisfied. Doubting the relationship contradicts that thought.

MOCOSO LIKE ME
Last edited by river.wild at Nov 29, 2011,
#5
Thanks for the feedback. Here's an uploaded version. Rockabilly isn't really about the poetry, but I've mixed it up a bit per your various feedback. Here's the lyrics as uploaded (although they're on the youtube page, too).

It's not enough to see you dancing
It's not enough to hear you laugh
At my stupid jokes
It's not enough to hear you
Whisper my name under flannel sheets
And hold my body like you'll never
Let it go

Now all I want to know
All I want to know
All I want to know
All I want to know is
Where will you be when the lights go down
Oh, when the lights go down
It's not enough
Oh, it will never be enough
But somehow, somehow
I'm satisfied

I've asked the questions
I've read the books
I've mastered the subjects
And hold a bachelor's degree
I can study your mysteries night and day
Uncover hidden truths about your every little ways
And still never know enough about your love for me

It's not enough
Oh, it will never be enough
But somehow, somehow
I'm satisfied
Nothing to see here. Move along.