#1
I recall a moment in time where there was nothing
just me and the close proximity; you
awkwardly standing there at three in the morning new years day
and you kissed me. I liked that.
I still have these dreams where I'm falling off the earth
and I only wake up a moment before suffocating
in the vaccuum of space, in every way I guess
I'm fine, but sometimes I have to tie myself down
with bedsheets, squeezing out any space vacated by your scent.
Sleeping in on sundays, too; especially when my mind has been
far too busy to remember you, the birds saying
"We won't shut up until you turn on the TV"
Remember, you smiled when I told you that, once upon a time.
I bought a briefcase full of morphine; I can shoot up every night
it makes forgetting easier, and sometimes I don't even realise I'm
walking up your street on my midnight strolls, humming songs I never liked
from parties with people I never cared about.
Heres to a brand new year. Let's drink until we're paralytic.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#3
Hmmm. I'm not sure what to make of this. You seem like you're trying to be florid in your vocabulary and it sort of works, but in some parts fall flat. Example:

just me and the close proximity; you

It seems poorly worded to me, but then that could be personal preference. Your subject matter is done and done and then done to death, there are countless pieces on here that are similar to this.

Nevertheless, its an enjoyable enough read, with some nice lines that remind me of times gone by in my own life.
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.
#4
A bit verbose and choppy for me .. sorry.
not going viral


Hot E-Cousin of rjaylaf

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E-NEMESIS of deathdrummer
#5
its really good man. definately like it
"when i lay myself to sleep, i pray that i dont go to deep...
LIGHTNING HOUSE!!!"

~Michael Stipe- R.E.M