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#1
Have you guys seen this yet? It made my night and it's only 6:15 here.

These are text messages I exchange with my 17 year old cousin Bennett. He is a white boy that thinks he's a Crip, works at Amoco, has a girlfriend named Mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on this planet. He has no idea I do this blog.


There aren't very many of them yet but here's a couple of my favorites






[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#2
I know an Indian guy like that

EDIT: Lawl at that cannibal one
Last edited by devourke at Dec 1, 2011,
#4
This guy is hilarious.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#6
yea a friend of mine put this on facebook

shit's hilarious
Quote by Scutchington
I like this guy, he's UG's Greek, and he just told your ass in two paragraphs. And I once spent 5 minutes watching his avatar.


A Brain Malfunction

We'll Never Admit As Defeat
#10
Thanks man, now I've got something else to cheer me up on my down days

Also at Due's new UG Title!
#11



...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#12
Quote by whoomit
Thanks man, now I've got something else to cheer me up on my down days

Also at Due's new UG Title!

lol, nice eye

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#13
A friend showed me them today, how come the photo of him's vanished?
El-Danny

Quote by americnidiot
You keep seeing songs like KoC, SMBH, and Hysteria showing up on games, but I want Micro Cuts on either Rock Band or Sing Star. I want to see numerous masses of kids staring at the tv wondering what the hell they're supposed to do.
#14





I also love that he is 17 and is sending all this to his 30 year old cousin.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Dec 1, 2011,
#17
Quote by due 07
canable


Dat slowpoke.



This website it brilliant.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#19
That last one in the OP made me laugh so ****ing hard.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#22
Lol
Quote by kaptkegan
Don't think I've ever been sigged.


I pretty much never leave the drug thread anymore.
#23
This just made my night and every one of my nights for the next year.
Please excuse my godawful username. I was thirteen.
#26
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
Last edited by Ganoosh at Dec 1, 2011,
#27
Oh man, I had a shit day today, and this was just the thing I needed.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#28
Part of me died.
Laughing.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#31
Quote by blake1221
Good shit.

I wanted to be HUSTLA DA RABBIT though

You could be canable niga.

imma boss hog gangsta.
#34
Quote by blake1221
Good shit.

I wanted to be HUSTLA DA RABBIT though

It's my new mc name.

HUSTLA DA RABBIT and Count Swagula are gonna be dropping their hit track-- coming to an internet near you-- "I'm Herman Cain (ft. Purple Drankenstein)" in a matter of weeks. STAY ON THE LOOKOUT.
Last edited by due 07 at Dec 1, 2011,
#36


Who was the UGer that would go on Facebook and write troll statuses like that?
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#37
Quote by blake1221
Am I Count Swagula or is that someone else? You gave me a SWAG name, but I forgot it.

Nah man you're SWAGGOT. An irl of mine is Count Swagula.
#38
I for some reason haven't laughed at any of this.

That being said, I want to know how he would react to finding this.

He'd probably send a text saying "nigga why r u posting shit online", only to see that text uploaded.
#39
Quote by due 07
Nah man you're SWAGGOT. An irl of mine is Count Swagula.


Let me get in on this mixtape.
#40
dis gurll was in da hopital becuz she had cancers in her eye. den her boyfreind said "i am goin to leave u cuz u cant see hwo much i luv u". da gurl was all liek "noo, y did u laeve me" and then da doctor comes in and say "we found sum eyes 4 u 2 haev" and den da gurl was leik "how" and da doctur said "ur bf killt hisself so u culd have his eye an he said dat u can c how much he love u becuz you have hiz eyes now and he can lok at u wenever u c a mirror" and da gurl was all leik "omg".
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
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