#1
Tell me what you think Pit.


Verse 1:
With every tale you tell
I fall under your spell
My open eyes are dreaming
tell me is this real?
I'll knock upon your door
you've struck me to my core
my heart is on my sleeve
begging for relief

Chorus:
So tell me lover
is this how it's supposed to be
I know it's been a long long night
I'll ask a kiss goodbye
and angel tell me
do you feel the way I do?
That it should be.....me and you?

Verse 2:
With every exhaled breath
I bless the day we met
dying for your reasons
to tell me why you left
So everyday I think,
I dream of where you are,
wonder how you've been if you're still my lucky star

Chorus

And END! Is it decent? This is like my fourth REAL one ever written so don't destroy me but I would like some constructive criticism.
#2
Verse 1 is all right, not the most original thing on earth but who cares?
Chorus: I'm put off by the word angel .. needs more work.
Verse 2: is a line shorter than verse one. The first line is the best, the last line is terrible, and the middle needs a bit more oomph.
:-)
not going viral


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