Haven't posted in suuuch a long while.

Anyway, been listening to some fairly out there bands recently (too many to name tbh) with a generous spinkling of Japanese alternative. I would mention one specific influence here by name but then again I don't want people comparing me to those masters of unique composition, not because I'm a rip off merchant, (I'm not and I like think my reputation stands against that accusation) but because I don't want any one to have preconceptions, post-conceptions maybe, not pre

Just enjoy this for what it is for a moment (or not), and then I'll tell some people if you desperately want to know and of course are into j-rock and things. haha .

So this is what happened. Nice and short so it won't waste much of your time. I like to think its got quirky flare.
Really like what you did with the distortion guitar with all those dead notes and that solo thing around bars 32-46 it kind of reminded me of desert music from an old mega drive game or something - *nostalgia* - I feel you should do a Megadrive style sound for the guitar.

The slow Piano chords at bar 80 were nice too. I prefer my music to have a more grandoise sound to it, but this is an otherwise tight composition - not really any faults there.

EDIT: In case you don't look back at my thread again: did you listen to my song via my profile or on GP5.0? It could explain that dissonance if you didn't.
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
Two Notes Torpedo CAB
Last edited by Emperor's Child at Dec 4, 2011,
Thanks for the crit BTW.

Bars (1-9): I though the percussion fill was too abrupt in the intro (Bar 1). It would be less jarring/abrupt if it started on the 3rd beat (Not the off beat). BTW I think you would be better of using Sibelius if you can afford it and this is your main style. Otherwise it's a great section. Love the call-and-response between the Piano and Guitar.

Bars (10-18): The tremolo on Piano is just about impossible to play because the keys take time to return. I would change the middle note to an octave above. That would get the same effect with less technicality.

Bars (19-26): Same as before.

Bars (27-46): From bar 31 onwards it doesn't quite resolve. After 31, try using these chords:
F#min add 11 (No5), Emin, D#min/b5

Then continue from 32 onwards (Which would become Bar 36).

Bars (47-62): I think the fills should happen in every bar (The guitar that is). I also think the dynamic parts of the percussion should have more focus on the snare as I don't think cymbals do the effect you're after any justice.

Bars (63-78): I though this section was quite lacking in the excitement factor. More technical prowess from the guitar please.

Bars (79-88): Same as the last tremolo bit. I also think there should be a fill in bar 88 (On percussion).

Bars (89-96): Same as before.

Bars (97-108): You really need to go nuts on the guitar here. Musical variation is the key here. The vibrato on the organ was cool though.

Don't take my crit the wrong way but I've been brought up with Jazz/Fusion since a very young age and I know a lot about it so it's only natural that I'm going to pick up on every nuance in just about any piece. Good luck, this piece has a lot of potential!
Thanks for the pointers mate! Before I start on my reply here, me and Sibelius have never seen eye to eye haha I'm strongly based in rock music (though my first instrument was classical I've never fully taken to that side) so the tab/visual input side of guitar pro works for me. Admittedly this is the first piece of music I've written in this precise style - I usually write what I call progcore (yes I know you hate the associations with 'core' but I mean hardcore from the original punk stand point, mixed with typical prog metal, because -again- rock).

I agree with a lot of what you've said but the trick is for me to intergrate it via my "style". Sounds corny when I say it like that but you get my drift right?

The section at bar 31 that didn't quite resolve was initially intentional, but after trying it the way you suggested (well almost, I tweaked the rate at which the chords change at little, to taste) I find myself in two minds. I like my way for its jarring quirk, but I like your way because of how intensely it leads into the quote-unquote solo. The solution? Both now appear in there some where. Thanks for the tip off on those chords. top stuff!

This jazz side to my music now days... I feel I should mention a good friend of mine whos a classical/prog jazz pianist (now at Berklee in fact). We used to jam in Uni, and he turned me onto these kind of chords. fast forward to now, even though I didn't sit down to write with his playing in mind, it came out that way.. sneaky influences huh! I think those tremolo bits came from him, quick fingers on a decent grand, like seriously.

Anyway thats enough of my ranting/rambling, I appreciate the input of someone like you Hayden who has some experience in this kind of style of music. Thanks again!
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Dec 4, 2011,
I don't have anything against Hardcore Punk in the vein of Black Flag (Although I'm still not too crash hot on them), it's the marketable breakdown obssessed "artists" that I can't tolerate.

No worries about the chord suggestion. I did the same in one of my own pieces. It's great for variation and musical development. I would use the chords I suggested in the last/2nd time it appears because it leaves the listener in suspense.

He must be pretty good then. But keep that in mind though. A tremolo-based Black Metal riff can't be played by a pianist and multiple octave jumps on a piano can't be reproduced on a trumpet.

No worries, send me a PM when you've updated it and I'll take another look if you want.
Thanks for the crit on mine.

Heh, cool intro, kinda quirky, not what I was expecting (although I hadn't a much of an idea what I was expecting :p). All the instruments doing something different and contributing to the piece in their own way. Bass is particularly interesting. The guitar very takes a back seat most of the way which is not the usual thing thing for UG, of course. Nice ending as well! Overall, it was very enjoyable, if a little short. Nice work though!