#1
So this is my first song that I've written in full. I've always had little bits of lyrics to songs but I've never got around to fully completing them. The song's pretty much based around the ignorance of people. Some of the lyrics in this song are bad because I couldn't find any other rhymes for them.

This song is in a kinda Rage Against Machine style. Please give crits!

---------------------------------------------

People these days
Just care that they get paid
Taking all their luxuries
For granted

There's people out there dying
And homeless babies crying
But they don't care
Just 'cos they're not there

There's women out there getting raped
Tied to a chair with their mouth's taped
As a man f*cks her
And ruins her life


Everywhere I look
There's an ignorant f*ck
Hypocritical
Not analytical
I don't know what's wrong
With this planet


You can't give reliance
'Cos there'll be no compliance
You'll be left betrayed
Your trust, disobeyed

Don't forgive
'Cos what they did changed the way you live
They don't care what came about
Sure they won't hear you when you shout

Hungry for money
Think child abuse is funny
The government want power
And too see a nation cower...

...in fear


Everywhere I look
There's an ignorant f*ck
Hypocritical
Not analytical
I don't know what's wrong
With this planet

(guitar solo)

Interlude:
Not willing to listen
They house no knowledge
And they won't acknowledge
The things that you do
To make this planet a better place
They just slam the door in your face
What's wrong with the human race? Because...

Everywhere I look
There's an ignorant f*ck
Hypocritical
Not analytical
I don't know what's wrong
With this planet
#2
Nice lyrics man! I maybe think the raping verse is a bit too much (but then I'm kinda sissy like that...). Particularly liked the rhyming of of hypocritical and analytical

Gear:
-Custom Frankenstrat (Now in bits pending a home-made Charvel So-Cal mod)
-Boss ME-25 (Modded with gaffer tape and blu-tack)


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#4
I like the first bit, i was a little shocked when i read the 'rape' section though!
#5
The rape part was called for i think, it blended in with the rest of it
IN LIFE...



IS DEATH

IN DEATH...


IS DEATH
#6
Quite tired, some lines are forced but for your first go, its not bad. I don't if your tongue was in your cheek but I have to say I laughed aloud at

The government want power
and to see a nation cower

......in fear

Change that, it looks like a joke.
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.