Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
4,005 IQ
Getting back into music now, wrote this last night and did the bass and drums on the train today. It's only 17 bars for now but it's a start. I say it's progressive, but I don't really know, I just felt it's a little more technical than what I usually write.

EDIT: So I've finally come back to this piece, can't believe it's been 2 years since I wrote it! Shows how much progress I've made in the last couple years ha. But anyway, still working on it, there's quite a bit I wanna change about some transitions (namely bars 34-36) and all still, but it'd be nice to get some opinions on this now then. v18.


EDIT: Got to an ending now, short and sweet kinda thing. I'm still working on it, but at least there's a finish for now. Let me know what you think please! v29
rock 236 v2.gp5
rock 236 v18.gp5
rock 236 v29.gp5
Last edited by Seb1uk at Oct 21, 2013,
guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
1,291 IQ
Sounds really good man! Good work. I think you should definitely carry on writing it. Would also love to hear it recorded
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2011
23 IQ
Good harmonies. At first listen I thought the intro sounded a little confusing but it made sense after a few more listens. Creative use of the 7/8 time/ That's hard to pull off!
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
4,005 IQ
So I've finally come back to this piece, can't believe it's been 2 years since I wrote it. Shows how much progress I've made in the last couple years ha. But anyway, still working on it, it's not finished and I'm not sure about some transitions so far, so it'd be nice to get some opinions on this now. v18.

Registered User
Join date: Feb 2013
575 IQ
Not that it is bad, but it's at some point that I just don't understand what the song tells me. I only see some periphery-ish sounds and the will to be prog and fresh and young.

You play fast and technical but when I listen the bars 80 to 95 of the track 5, I have no emotions, I don't feel anything. It's like the big trend nowaday to play like that, a mix of Periphery and Protest The Hero (sorry for the large comparisons, I don't know many bands from the genre). There are too much meaningless licks out there... Sorry to be rude.
Last edited by Craziork at Oct 21, 2013,
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Join date: Aug 2007
4,005 IQ
Fair enough mate. To be honest you described exactly what was going on in my head: trying to be fresh, fast, technical, and with no emotions attached. This was the first song I wrote in a while where I just wanted something short and sweet, because I had a tendency to turn everything into sorta long epic kinda pieces with a big climax and all.

Cheers for the input though!

Listening to it again I could probably stretch out the ending because it's a bit too much of a rush.
ab ovo
I like funk
Join date: Jan 2012
222 IQ
Bars 52 - 80 are lovely and crunchy, not a fan of overly technical stuff, but the clever chord changes coupled with how the groove strengthens really lifts the song. The tempo change is also surprisingly smooth. I also respect the odd time signatures, they don't sound forced or clunky.

As for my ideas regarding improvements, I think namely, the piece ends too soon - bars 133 - 136 have something that I can really feel building up and getting a little emotional - whilst I'm not a fan of cadences/predictable endings I don't think you should waste that idea.

Also don't be afraid to solidify some of the drumbeats and grooves a little - particularly in the verses, a toned down drumbeat would do you more favours then the complex one that is there. Maybe some of the basslines could have some syncopation added to make up for such a change, though I can see how they keep everything flowing the way they are written.

Would appreciate your thoughts on this
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
1,474 IQ
This is one of the best GPs to ever be posted on this forum. Don't post stuff like this dude, get a ****ing band together and release it. You don't need criticism you clearly have an ear for music, keep learning yours chops and release this with a band.
master of the diddly-doo
Join date: Sep 2012
3,080 IQ
i wish i could give you negative feedback so that i could help you improve, but i really dont think this could improve

i honestly cant think of a bad thing to say man lol awesome job!

Edit: also, when i listened to this i thought "man, i dont remember who it was by, but this really reminds me of that awesome tab i heard when i first joined the UG forums" then i realized "oh of course its this guy! id recognize that high-energy melodiousness anywhere!"
Last edited by pAWNlol at Oct 24, 2013,
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Join date: Aug 2007
4,005 IQ
Cheers for all the feedback. Appreciate the kind words too.

Ab ovo: yeah I think I've got a problem with always trying to over complicate the drums. Every tkme I write them I just think, blake from btbam can do crazier shit so I always keep mixing it up ha. But yeah sure ill get round to critting yours in a bit.
No Breakdowns = Not Music
Join date: Feb 2013
219 IQ
I would disagree it with being too "technical", in fact many parts that are in 7/8 or regarding uncommon time signatures could easily be simplified to 4/4 and it would sound almost the same. I would not too critical on "technicality" when it really isn't, or should matter.

Regarding the sound, it is reminiscent of The Fall of Troy for me. This is mainly due to the numerous hammers and pull offs, which I love. The melody, I would say is the center-point of the piece. This is very well done, I would love to hear it played with live instruments.

The only criticism I would give constructive or not, is the unnecessary time signature changes, I understand that certain beats needed an emphasis, however it could have been executed in numerous ways rather than putting an needless unorthodox time signature. For example, the 7/8 in the intro could have been put in 4/4 with a 8th note rest in the intro or make rather use of a pickup bar. This goes the same for the 15/8, it could have been put in 3/4 with added methods to achieve the same effect.
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Join date: Aug 2007
4,005 IQ
Cheers mate. I dunno about changing the 7/8 to 4/4, because it changes the feel completely of the riff. It's not like I intentionally threw in a 7/8 bar to try and mix it up, I was a bit baffled when I wrote it and it wasn't fitting into 4/4 - in particular the intro. Putting an 8th note rest at the start wouldn't work because I'd have to put another 8th note rest on the repeat.

As for 15/8, if it was 3/4, I'd need like 10 bars which seems more odd than having 4 bars with the last one being 8/4.

But thanks, appreciate the feedback.