#1
love like laceration
hemorrhaging blood and cuts and rust
pour a year onto the pavement
watch our hope rally dust

i'm pulling streets behind me
intersection memory
another place our paths don't cross

though i sat on that sidewalk -
counted planes, waited all day
willed a traffic light to change
it's like this ache is all i got
but then you know me -
always in love with a thought
#2
I really like it.

The last two lines of the first verse are probably my favorite parts of the piece, and the last verse is really strong as well.

I think the weakest part of the piece is the middle verse. "I'm pulling streets behind me" starts it in the direction of some interesting imagery (I imagine something like Inception here), but then it feels like it peters out. If you could run with that first line more, I think you'd really have something. Where are you pulling streets to? What does it feel like? Something more concrete would be awesome.

Overall, very strong.
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