Poll: Vote
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All relationships ideally should be 50/50
18 35%
Depending on the people, one person being more dominant in relationships is fine
25 49%
Men should generally be more dominant in relationships
6 12%
Women should generally be more dominant in relationships
2 4%
Voters: 51.
#1
When it comes to you and the opposite sex, with relationships and whatnot, do you tend to be the dominant one, or maybe your other is the dominant one, or maybe you're in a relationship that really is 50/50 (which I really haven't seen a lot of to be honest)? Do you think that it's better for one person to be more dominant? Or do you think it's better for one gender in general to be more dominant?

Most relationships I've seen, the men have been dominant, but I've seen relationships where the woman is dominant. With my parents, my dad was dominant, but since he's gotten his life in order and straightened up, my mom has taken more of a dominance in the relationship, which I think he's aware of, and he doesn't mind it. My sister and I fight a lot because she's very insecure, and in her relationships, the men are always dominant and aren't respectful.
#2
I tend to wear the pants, but it's never like a power struggle. Usually 55/45 I'd say.

I don't think it matters who wears them, as long as it's around 50/50 there's no real problem to worry about.
Last edited by blake1221 at Dec 12, 2011,
#3
Never been in any sort of relationship, so disregard everything I say, but in my ideal relationship it would be 50/50, and both would be very respectful to each other. I'm not really sure how to word the rest.

Edit: I think I shouldn't have voted for what I did. Not all relationships are the same, and will work differently. But IMO they ideally should be 50/50.
Last edited by slipknot5678 at Dec 12, 2011,
#4
Sexually, my wife and I are pretty 50/50. I would say that we've achieved a good level of balance as far as one or the other being dominant is concerned. It's one of the things we pride our successful/happy relationship on, though we both admit that in regards to some things I am dominant and in some things she is. We both also acknowledge that for some couples, the ideal formulation may be with one or the other being more dominant

For us though, I like taking the backseat to my wife sometimes, both sexually and in other respects to our relationship.
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#6
I've only been in one relationship in the past, and even then it wasn't really a proper relationship... so I dunno.

I guess I'd want it to be 50/50. Can't really speak from personal experience, though.
#7
I don't know what works best, cause if I did i'd have chicks all up on my dick all the time. But I like to have a little bit more control than the other person. Ideally it'd be 50/50, but if that requires the other person to give 50 and alot of the times they don't. So i'll see how much control they want and make up for the difference, if there is any.
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#8
Ideally, nobody should be wearing the trousers.
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#9
I'd prefer around 60/40. I feel like I am a very considerate person who is willing to make time for my partner. Having recently ended a relationship where I honestly don't know that I could say that, I would be really happy (in the short term, at least) with a partner who would be the one to be considerate and let my wants and needs take precedence once in a while.
#10
I like getting dominated. It's so much less effort on my part.
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#11
She wears the pants around here. I'm very aware of the fact that she's smarter than me. we never argue, and she's very repspectful of how i feel about her decisions and whatnot, on account of I'm the breadwinner around here. I think each relationship needs to find it's own balance, whether its 20/80 or 50/50.

I tend to just go with the flow, and follow her lead.
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Last edited by BurningTurkey at Dec 12, 2011,
#12
It generally works best for me when it fluctuates based on the situation, like what Dreadnought was talking about. There are some things that I refuse to budge on, (I'm stubborn enough to make a mule give up) and others I just don't give a shit about, and see it as a "whatever makes her happy" thing.
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#13
What do you mean by that word, you keep saying it but you never explained its definition in the sense that you want to discuss it in. Like the one who decides when things happen and how things will happen and what will happen? Is that normal? Would you want to live the rest of your life with a person where one of you controllable everything?
#14
I have been the dominant one in my past relationships, I'm not sure how its happen as that isn't really my personality, I think its just the cute/shy women that I'm interested in tend to be passive. but I do think men should be the more dominant one. In cases I've seen where the women is, shit is all ****ed up, the man is miserable and the women usually makes the wrong decisions. but I also don't think either side should be accustomed to always being right or making all the decisions. The choices should been done together and each opinion considered, but I think a man should be able to put his foot down if he truly thinks he is right. If he cannot do that with someone he knows and trust, he will not have the skills or ability to this to a stranger and will fail in the workplace and in the real world.
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#15
Yeah, I'd say I'm the dominate one and that's the way it should be.

When you've got HPOAs throwing themselves at you, you gotta take charge and control them or you're gonna get hurt. Bitches be crazy, man.
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Last edited by D. Vader at Dec 12, 2011,
#16
it should be kinda even
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#17
Often I've seen that one person in a relationship wants to be the one dominated, men or women, so the dominant one is put in that place not through their own actions but as a response to their partner. Of course this is just what I've observed, not that I think this is the way it should be. Hope that makes sense.
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#18
I definitely prefer when guys take the lead. For girls though, I don't really care.
#19
I practice D/s and I prefer to be the submissive partner.
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#21
I think it depends on whether the two people involved are more assertive or passive as to what its the 'ideal' situation. I mean, if you've got two strongly dominant people jostling to keep it fifty-fifty, there's going to be a heck of a lot of arguments and fights going on, which wouldn't be ideal in my book. But hey, they say the make-up sex is fantastic. Whatever floats your boat.

It's quite rare that you find two people who will agree on everything evenly (unless they're 'sooo in lurve' and then bust up three weeks later at the school social... you know what I mean); I think the closest you can get is Dreadnought's situation of compromise and each party dominanting slightly more or less in different areas. The most common situation - which is perfectly alright - is where the more assertive or outgoing partner 'dominates' while the other person follows their lead and is happy to sit in the back seat.

The only time this dynamic is problematic is when the dominant partner begins to take their power as a matter of course, or as a right... when they make assumptions and don't consider the feelings or concerns of the 'lesser' party. It's fine for one to be dominant, so long as they're considering their beloved and listening when they need to. If the more submissive or passive partner is afraid to speak out or stand their ground on occasion when it's necessary, then you've got a problem.
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#22
In my realtionships, I'd say it's pretty even because I'm pretty passive most of the time, and most of the girls who like me are also passive.

In general, I think it depends on the people involved, some people are pretty controlling, they would definitely want to be dominant. But I'd personally be fine with my partner being more dominant as long as I feel like my opinion matters, but if she disregards everything that I say, then I'm gonna start getting pissed.
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Last edited by 37 Narwhals at Dec 12, 2011,
#23
70%-70%
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#24
It's different for everyone. 50/50 rarely happens because you'd need to have two people with an almost equal need to assert dominance. If they both have a high need to be in charge, they'll end up fighting over everything. If they're both highly submissive, the relationship will die out.

None of the distribution levels are bad though- there are good leaders and bad leaders.