#1
This is a song I wrote about a girl who really upset me about a year and a half ago. Here are all of the notes I have made: Opinions/suggestions?


Intro (Quiet clean guitar. Bass with guitar? Piano only?) Think of 'Wars' by 'Hurt'
She was not, what she seemed
She was u-gly to me
Playing with my mind
And she just wasted my time

Pre-Chorus without vocals

Verse (Quieter verse. Drum and bass only?)
Little did I know the truth that lay
Within her mind and plans
Controlling me and shaking things up (find alternative word for ‘things&rsquo
Friendships, hopes and dreams
Still to this day I don’t know why
She committed such atrocities
She set out to drag me down
But she failed to succeed

Chorus (Not sure)
You set out to bring me down
But you failed in the end
You can’t bring me down
You failed in the end

Fill after chorus? Guitar chords with bass and drums. Palm-mutes? Back to Pre-Chorus?

Verse 2 (Louder/more built up verse. All instruments in) Think of 'Pass Out of Existance' by 'Chimaira'
I’m sickened by the mere thought of her
And I hate being around her
And that smell of cheap perfume
As she tries to sell herself
Sell herself to anyone
Anyone that she can find
And that smell of beer and ash (‘Stench’ instead of smell’?)
That led to her downfall

Chorus

Solo Pt. 1 (Guitar does same notes as the singer does in chorus. With additional fills?)

Bridge? (Need to work out a melody)
After all this time
You are still the same
You lie and cheat your way through life
You will never change your ways
Into the future I gaze
And I see myself complete
And you will begin to rot
From the ways that you live

Solo Pt. 2 (After Bridge?)

Final Chorus (Echo/Call+response with lead and backing vocals?)
You lost the fight
You lost the battle
You lost the war
You lost in the end


Extra Lines To Consider?
“She parades around town as if she’s a somebody. But in reality she’s a nobody”

“Your life is a cry for help”

“Now it’s all gone and passed” <<Show that you’re over it and don’t care anymore? Or just stick to the point?

“You will always be a distant memory”

Started off as a random meeting. Seemed to get along. Little did I know of the ‘truth’. Her plans to upset and bully me. Making me do what she wants. Shaking up my friendships with other people (think of Jay and the video of a phone call that nearly got me kicked out of Project but also how I stood up to her and saved my own ass). She pretended to like me and I admitted to liking her back but she was just playing me
Then apologized for what she did (previous paragraph) and said she was my friend. again i was fooled as this was another plan of hers. i was being very much confused as she seemed to take me for granted and i couldn’t understand why. as more people (her friends) got involved and joined in more troubled brewed up (friends telling me that she liked me and making me apologize to her constantly and pretending to be my friend. treating me like a play-thing puppet). I tried my absolute best to be her friend and look after her... time wasted. not even a thank you. no respect given back
i’m over it now, deleted her from phone, skype, msn etc. she tried to upset me and ‘break/bring me down’ but she was unsuccessful. i was the real winner. im stronger and smarter now because of this

Disgusted by her way of life (drink, drugs and sex) Her way of life ended up as her downfall when she got drunk and told me everything (alcohol makes you tell the truth) and then her feeble attempts to keep me when i told her what she’d told me

Disgusted by her presence and the smell of cheap perfume as she tries to sell herself to anyone (Disgusted, Appalled, more alternative words needed!)

She will never be a part of my life again. Never want to see her again or hear from her again

No apology, no regrets from her. still arrogant and big-headed

Why deliberately make enemies with someone? Can't understand

Trying to put the blame on me. She started the entire thing deliberately so she’s responsible