#2
Hey man, thanks a lot for your crit on my piece. Let me just say, goddamn this is a cool track. You're clearly a very advanced musician and I hope I can write something of this standard one day I really enjoyed some of the different effects you used, but most of all, I loved the way you transitioned so well between the different moods and styles in the song, it makes it feel like a journey I guess haha. The odd time signatures you used didn't sound forced at all either, which is definitely a challenging thing to achieve. I can't really think of anything that you should improve, I honestly love this! Keep going with this stuff and you'll go a long way buddy
#3
Fan of The Mars Volta?

It certainly sounds like it, but congrats on using various tempos and time sigs without it sounding forced.
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
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Two Notes Torpedo CAB
#4
Quote by king_harvest88
Just something I'm working on, I'm pretty proud of it. Just thought I'd try get some feedback.

I havent put any guitar in bar 51 and 52 yet, but i will.......... also the 'vocal' is just some melody ideas, you might want to ignore it.

Well.. This is the only crit I have to give.

I really like how the guitar drops out in 51 and 52, so if you do put guitar in, maybe keep it minimal.

The vocal melodies are nice.

68-69 transition is a little chunky compared to the others in the song.


I really can't wait to hear the rest. This makes me feel like a lesser musician to listen to it, knowing I couldn't write something like this. haha.

If you do C4C, I'm working on a song right now that I'd gladly take an IOU for. ;]
#5
Hey, thanks for the words, guys.

Yeah, its pretty clear this is rather mars volta influenced, especially the intro, which is VEEEEERY similar to a song off bedlam in goliath, I cant remember the name though.

Garb, I'm afraid i had to reformat my hard drive recently, so I don't have guitar pro at the moment, but when I get it sorted out I'll have a look at your musicks.
#6
Yeah.. I actually thought it was "Goliath" when it started and got really pissed off, but then I realised it wasn't. :p

And, no rush mayne.. I'm still working on the song. I have a long way to go before I can post it up. :p
#7
It's great. I don't think you really need any feedback. Was there anything in particular about the song you wanted us to focus on?

It seems pretty complete, really. The riffs and melodies are catchy and the tempo and time changes are coherent, the drums are much more sophisticated than most midi drums, and the whole thing is quite structurally sound. There's not much to criticise... except maybe that the alternating 11/8 + 5/8 = 16/8, which would easily be divided into 8/8, which is 4/4, but that's only an issue with the notation and not the sound. I've made a similar mistake before. Sometimes heavily syncopated phrases can sound like time sig changes, even to the people writing them.

Mind giving mine some feedback? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28851355#post28851355