The guys voice is not loud enough (or rather the instruments are too loud). If I heard that advert on the radio I most probably would not pay attention to what he's saying... Also a little bit more enthusiasm in his voice would make it sound a lot better
Okay, vocals are a little bassy, and far too quiet.

Also, the musical intro is far too long; you could cut the ad down by a good 5 seconds without losing any impact.

I can see where you're going with it though, doesn't sound cheesy or derivative. Good work.