#1
What’s a heart to be broken?
If it still hasn’t healed
That is a question to us all
One we all shouldn’t feel

Pain is nothing
When brought against heartbreak
The body then takes the rage
Of a tired and flattened brain

Do you want the truth?
Or do you want lies
At this point I’m done
I’m tired of this shit and I’m getting out
The best way I know how

Let me ask you
To take my hand
Walk side by side
And meet a true man.

i wrote this because i seem to have hit a wall with girls i love. any comments would be helpful
Who's your daddy... well not me cuz ur momas ugly


These things are sex transport vehichles woot

This man just got a station wagon.
#3
Those are nice lyrics. I'm sure I could write something similar to that when I'm feeling inferior... but I mainly focus on riffs.

Nothing else to add atm.
Quote by diminishedtobme
I think the male ones have dicks, Im not sure though.

Quote by tgregory2010
ah screw you lol

#4
Quote by BOYERxBREAKDOWN
Corny.

Compared to the mainstream shit that's out there, TS's song is pretty damn good.
Quote by diminishedtobme
I think the male ones have dicks, Im not sure though.

Quote by tgregory2010
ah screw you lol

#5
Try painting more of a picture, what I mean is... instead of 'telling' how you feel, try 'showing' how you feel with the words.

Also watch for contradictions, such as
What’s a heart to be broken?
If it still hasn’t healed


If the heart hasn't healed, then it is still broken...

Try something perhaps like:
Shattered looking at the remains, of a heart broken.
Hurt beyond the point of repair, there is no answer to this pain.

That is a question to us all
One we all shouldn’t feel


This question you are saying we all should not have to feel? How can you assume it to be a universal feeling?

Hope this helps.
Well. what.