#1
So i am the lead vocalist to a metal/ alternative band and I'm having problems with my lead guitarist. I usually end up making a lot of decisions because practice is at my house and we use my stuff.
Anyway, the problem is that he is a friend but he is cocky in a comical manner (jokingly). I have come to the conclusion that he does this due to his insecurities. He is a good player but not a good performer or coworker.
No stage presence.
He refuses to agree with our set lists.
When we write, he becomes too technical and crams the same crap into every song (pentatonics and everything is minor) and the feeling is lost once the final product is produced.

Is there any way to somehow kick him in the balls and set him straight without dumping him. Last time we considered kicking him out, things got messy and he talked us into keeping him.
#2
Do some performances in front of friends or crowds only with friends untill he gets a stage presence there, then move on to gigs with strangers in the audiance. If it works like it did for me, by the time he gets to strange audiances, he won't give a **** what they think about him and his insecurities will be history!
#3
Maybe he hasn't developed enough as a musician to write diversely - when I first learned sweeping I tried to fit it into every song. Needless to say, it didn't quite fit all the time. As far as no stage presence, you need to find something that will give him a confidence boost, and have people convince him that he really as a great player. Gradually the insecurity will fade into confidence. It didn't take much for me, but some people I know had problems with stage presence and insecurity. It can be overcome with time.
#4
I don't know if it works for everyone (didn't work for my band's singer ) but try inviting a few friends to one of your rehearsals-when you simulate a gig. Those guys would be your audience and it's a small but good transition from practice to performance. It definitely worked for me. I have a lot more energy and confidence now.
#5
Everything being minor seems kind of like your nitpicking, I can't think of to many metal songs that are in a major key.
#6
Before you kick him in the balls, have you considered talking to him about this stuff?
#7
Quote by hendrixism
Everything being minor seems kind of like your nitpicking, I can't think of to many metal songs that are in a major key.

yeah i dont think you can blame him for using minor scales. if the song is in a minor key, what do you expect him to play exactly? as for pentatonics, theres nothing wrong with that either. its a very useful scale.

as for stage pressence, that can be worked on. i would rather have a good guitar player than one who cant play very well. at least the music is right. but thats me. maybe have a beer or two? sometimes it helps to loosen up a bit. works for me.

as for not agreeing with the set list, what doesnt he agree with? is he making valid points? who makes the set list? is it you? if so are you just not happy with him disagreeing with it? listen to what he is saying. put it to a vote maybe? not everyone is going to agree with each other all the time. if you are the band leader though you have the deciding vote in the end.

and when writing songs, if you dont like what he's doing, then say "can you make it more simple and not too technical" or whatever. are you telling him that the feeling is getting lost or are you just rolling your eyes and sighing to yourself? in my band we always speak up if something sounds off or not right for the song. do it in a respectful mannor and suggest something different and he should understand. if not, then yeah maybe find someone who works better with everyone.

and/or maybe just take him aside one day without anyone else and tell him whats on your mind. being in a band is a lot of work and everyone needs to communicate to be happy.
#8
the problems you listed typically come from not practicing enough. A good player will be insecure on stage if he doesn't know/practice the songs well enough. He knows the song well enough to sound good in his room or in rehearsals, but not enough to sound the same way on stage.
He will make bad decisions on writing songs because he is hasty and not devoted enough to spend more time working on the song.

He's just being lazy/not serious enough. Explain to him he needs to work harder, practice more even if he thinks its enough. Tell him hes a very important part of the band and he has to do his best all the time so you know you can depend on him. Its not a leisure thing
I know Lucifer so well I call him by his first name...I say, "Hey Lou!"
#10
Quote by Blind In 1 Ear
yeah i dont think you can blame him for using minor scales. if the song is in a minor key, what do you expect him to play exactly? as for pentatonics, theres nothing wrong with that either. its a very useful scale.

as for stage pressence, that can be worked on. i would rather have a good guitar player than one who cant play very well. at least the music is right. but thats me. maybe have a beer or two? sometimes it helps to loosen up a bit. works for me.

as for not agreeing with the set list, what doesnt he agree with? is he making valid points? who makes the set list? is it you? if so are you just not happy with him disagreeing with it? listen to what he is saying. put it to a vote maybe? not everyone is going to agree with each other all the time. if you are the band leader though you have the deciding vote in the end.

and when writing songs, if you dont like what he's doing, then say "can you make it more simple and not too technical" or whatever. are you telling him that the feeling is getting lost or are you just rolling your eyes and sighing to yourself? in my band we always speak up if something sounds off or not right for the song. do it in a respectful mannor and suggest something different and he should understand. if not, then yeah maybe find someone who works better with everyone.

and/or maybe just take him aside one day without anyone else and tell him whats on your mind. being in a band is a lot of work and everyone needs to communicate to be happy.

I agree with everything you say and i have been on track with the methods you've spoken of. As far as the set list, he disagrees with a lot of the songs because they aren't all neoclassical maumstein pieces and doesnt find any pleasure in playing simpler pieces. He wants to be the main attraction and yet doesnt provide any entertainment when he plays. His writing is a lot like that to. When i write lyrics and we collaborate, i dont always think neoclassical. Sometimes its good to have a grungy riff
#11
I think this is just a communication issue. If he doesn't know where you are coming from, and you feel the same, it will never work. A band is like a family, you are going to disagree about many things. What makes it work is how you handle the disagreements.
#12
Quote by Urgentrage
I agree with everything you say and i have been on track with the methods you've spoken of. As far as the set list, he disagrees with a lot of the songs because they aren't all neoclassical maumstein pieces and doesnt find any pleasure in playing simpler pieces. He wants to be the main attraction and yet doesnt provide any entertainment when he plays. His writing is a lot like that to. When i write lyrics and we collaborate, i dont always think neoclassical. Sometimes its good to have a grungy riff



I sympathize with the fact that he wants to be the attraction. I've got one of those too And I don't have the answer, because he's probably not going to change...but i do know there are lots and lots of competent guitar players out there. He is basically a show off, and for him, it's not about the band or the music. It's about
ME ME ME! If you come up with the answer let me know. I just think it's a shame when band members get that way.
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#14
Quote by Blind In 1 Ear
yeah i dont think you can blame him for using minor scales. if the song is in a minor key, what do you expect him to play exactly? as for pentatonics, theres nothing wrong with that either. its a very useful scale.


Yeah, I'm not quite sure how a pentatonic scale is 'too technical'.

"Keys, man. They're so played out. Why's every song gotta be in a key?"

Quote by urgentrage
he disagrees with a lot of the songs because they aren't all neoclassical maumstein pieces and doesnt find any pleasure in playing simpler pieces. He wants to be the main attraction and yet doesnt provide any entertainment when he plays. His writing is a lot like that to. When i write lyrics and we collaborate, i dont always think neoclassical. Sometimes its good to have a grungy riff


Okay, so I have a few questions.

You want to play grunge. He wants to play neoclassical. How is it you guys wound up in a band together, again? I am not in a band, but I think logic would dictate that everyone has to be on board with the kind of music you want to play. I mean, I would never join a funk band. Not only am I a lousy slap bassist, but it's not the kind of music I like. I want to play AC/DC, not George Clinton. Get me? It would be stupid of me to join a funk band and then bitch that we never get to play "Hells Bells".

Secondly, that said, a band is a collaborative effort and I feel that if you're going to leave the guitar parts up to him, as, y'know, a guitar player, then you really should let him write what he wants to write. Maybe part of the problem is that he feels he's never being heard, or that your dictating to him what he has to write is stifling him creatively. If I was part of a band, and led to believe I had input into the creative process, but then none of my input was ever actually accepted, I'd either stop contributing entirely or quit. Seems like your guitarist has chosen option C, passive-aggressive complaining.

In short, it sounds to me like you guys don't belong in a band together, and the only reason you brought him on was because you guys are friends. I'd say if you insist on keeping him, to either back off and let him do his thing, or kick him to the curb and let him be in a band more to his liking. The current situation is doing neither of you any favors.
Last edited by CarsonStevens at Feb 24, 2012,