#1
Smoker's fog deprecates and
we rush for a caffeine rush to
expedite the over-hauled fly
system, futile little try.
Glimpse blood a while muck.
Stuck gore fry all down the pike.
Airless clamp round kin's hand,
bar eyelids with chains and locks,
steady breathing,
take-off to frigid scions
who won't
shut
up.
#2
smokers'?

this has got a fantastic bite to it and the pace is rapid and effective. I'm tripping over that third word though, maybe a rephrase? for pace I find it's helpful to read your piece out loud the next week and make quick fixes to something that may have sounded okay when first written but doesn't fit after a step away
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#3
Maybe diminish for that word? Just an idea.
Didn't know you could produce stuff this good, man.
I like the shape of it
Punchy.
not going viral


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#4
Thanks for reading guys, I'll see if I'd like to change that word cause it still sounds good I'll read it in a week though.

And thank you Ali