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#1
So im walkin home from my dentist appointment, because fuck cars, its a beautiful day and im enjoying the weather. But anyways, im minding my own business, relaxed and lost in my own thoughts, when suddenly out of my peripheral vision I see something charging at me. Before I could even tell what it was I instinctively kicked it as hard as I could. It was some deadly responsive reflexes, man. After it happened and I realized what the hell I just did, I saw it was a duck I just punted. BAM! Launched that sucker right across the pond. It went FAR too..mightve been able to rival some of the top field goal records. But.. shit! That could have been somebodies toddler or something. I was lucky it was just a duck.


That poor duck probably had a family and I (probably) killed it right before Christmas. In my defense it was a total accident. It startled me and I was just in auto pilot mode. But anyways, I feel really terrible and I cant stop thinking about that poor duck I punted. Make me feel better and tell me about animals that you have accidentally killed?
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#3
I was peeing once and I saw some bug crawling around in the toilet so I...I aimed at it
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#6
I have never killed an animal. I would never do such a cruel thing.

But come on man. It's alright. It's kind of like the food chain. Ducks are just going to have to fight their way to the dominant species.
#8
WARUM TUT ES WEH, WENN ICH PINKLE?!
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#9
well if you couldnt tell what it was until the last minute its not really your fault..what if it was a rabid fox lol...we got some of those @#$%ers roaming around sometimes out here...strange how the duck was approaching you. Might just need to be more alert next time, could have been a friendly duck that just wanted some bread...But whats done is done, i ran over a stray kitten once because it darted infront of my car...felt like crap! then on the way back another one did the same thing...
#10
Quote by Dirge Humani
There was a baby rabbit down at the field in my town, I walked kind of too close to it, it got scared, and ran headfirst into a tree. It didn't move.

awww..I love bunnies. I think id cry right there. But that image is just too funny.

Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
You probably broke all it's ribs

You did at least finish it off, didn't you?

No I couldnt get to it..it either landed in the pond or on the other side of the pond.


But either way I wanted to get out of there..the rest of the ducks were starting to give me these really scary looks. Im pretty sure I was about to get jumped by a buncha ducks. Come to think of it, all the woodland critters were starting to follow me and watch me after that. They are either plotting against me, or trying to worship me as their new leader.
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#11
god damn, that's hilarious

i feel for the duck though, it must really suck to get punted.
#12
I punted a pigeon once because I thought it would get out of the way before I kicked it like every other pigeon in history. I don't feel bad though, because pigeons are assholes.

I was also an accessory to slicing a swan's throat open with a speed boat rotor. It was not accidental.
Last edited by RU Experienced? at Dec 23, 2011,
#14
A friend of mine was riding his motorbike, and he accidentally drove over a turkey. We asked him if the turkey died, his answer was that at least the half that stuck on the bike was dead.
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#15
Didn't you at least take it home and roast it? It's what it would have wanted.
#16
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#17
Ahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahah

Quote by yellowfrizbee
and I (probably) killed it right before Christmas.



You just know, sometime around tomorrow, there's gonna be a family of ducks just sitting around the table eagerly awaiting the return of their father.
#18
Quote by yellowfrizbee
That poor duck probably had a family and I (probably) killed it right before Christmas. In my defense it was a total accident. It startled me and I was just in auto pilot mode. But anyways, I feel really terrible and I cant stop thinking about that poor duck I punted. Make me feel better and tell me about animals that you have accidentally killed?

Since jesus wasn't a duck, i don't think ducks celebrate christmas, and if they did, all they'd be thankful for is that they aren't turkeys. so you haven't ruined any fluffy little duckling's first christmas any more than the frozen pond has, but maybe you have ruined its life
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#20
Quote by blake1221
duck punt.


That's pretty awesome.
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#21
I accidentally cut a snake in half with my bicycle this one time.
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#22
I once stomped a pigeon as it walked under my foot. I was sat in town with my feet resting on a bench, and I thought it would just scare it. But it didn't move and got all ****ed up.
#23
Damn. I still feel bad. But at least im getting some laughs from some of these stories.

Quote by henrihell
A friend of mine was riding his motorbike, and he accidentally drove over a turkey. We asked him if the turkey died, his answer was that at least the half that stuck on the bike was dead.

Holy shit I dont think ive ever even seen a wild turkey running about before. Thats like running into one of those rare random event pokemon..that you spend forever running around to freakin finally run into. He should have caught it, taken it home, and treated it like a pokemon. I think that would have been an appropriate response.
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#24
I shot the head off a lizard on my fence with a bb gun from about 15 yards away.it was pretty small and definitely a lucky shot. when I went up it was normal but instead of a head it only had a jaw left. the rest of its head was completely gone. in my infinite curiosity as a 7 year old I think id killed lots of lizards through various means like crushing with rocks and then studying them. my parents found out and laid into me making me feel so guilty. I was crying so hard haha.

I remember once too I poured salt on a slug and my dad said, "there's a mommy slug somewhere who's worried about her baby slug because he's not home for dinner. and now he never will be." or something to that affect. man I was only 6-8 years old but i felt absolutely horrible. never hurt a creature since (except ants because **** ants).
#DTWD
#25
Quote by yellowfrizbee
Damn. I still feel bad. But at least im getting some laughs from some of these stories.


Holy shit I dont think ive ever even seen a wild turkey running about before. Thats like running into one of those rare random event pokemon..that you spend forever running around to freakin finally run into. He should have caught it, taken it home, and treated it like a pokemon. I think that would have been an appropriate response.

Tons of wild turkeys in my town too.

In fact, 2 idiots got arrested a year or two ago for killing one with a bow and arrow. Hunting without a license, hunting within boro limits, animal cruelty. Whole 9 yards.
#26
I've killed a couple baby raccoons with my car. Someone told me they are naturally attracted to light, because I swerved over both times and they still walked into my tire.

Seen a bird fly straight into the side of a car driving in front of me before too. That was kind of funny though. I hate birds except birds of prey. They're cool.
#27
Get yo reflexes under control.
It could have been a little kid or something. You can't just go "Oh, but it wasn't" and just shrug it off.
Next time it could be.
#28
Quote by yellowfrizbee
:
No I couldnt get to it..it either landed in the pond or on the other side of the pond.




You... may have kicked a duck, across a pond!?
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#29
I had to kill 4 kittens once. Feels bad man.
My friends mum didn't desex her cats, and the son cat had sex with the mum cat and had incest kittens. If I didn't stop the cycle it would have continued and she would of had heaps of incest cats running around.
She gave me half an Oz. to do so. I quit smoking weed shortly after that.
#30
haha hilarious image in my head of that whole story

not killed any animals so far but have had a few birds fly into windows near me scared the crap out of me but they didnt seem too bothered by it and flew off
#31
Quote by Dirge Humani
Tons of wild turkeys in my town too.

In fact, 2 idiots got arrested a year or two ago for killing one with a bow and arrow. Hunting without a license, hunting within boro limits, animal cruelty. Whole 9 yards.

Aww I want wild turkeys in my neighborhood ! I certainly wouldnt shoot them with an arrow...maybe just punt them on accident.

Quote by primusfan
I shot the head off a lizard on my fence with a bb gun from about 15 yards away.it was pretty small and definitely a lucky shot. when I went up it was normal but instead of a head it only had a jaw left. the rest of its head was completely gone. in my infinite curiosity as a 7 year old I think id killed lots of lizards through various means like crushing with rocks and then studying them. my parents found out and laid into me making me feel so guilty. I was crying so hard haha.

I remember once too I poured salt on a slug and my dad said, "there's a mommy slug somewhere who's worried about her baby slug because he's not home for dinner. and now he never will be." or something to that affect. man I was only 6-8 years old but i felt absolutely horrible. never hurt a creature since (except ants because **** ants).

Yeah, ive always been a total pussy when it comes to hurting animals and the like. My dads side of the family are big on hunting and stuff too so I get teased for it a lot. When I was younger they used to take me out with them and tell me to name the animals...and then right afterward I did theyd shoot them ! WHY!


Edit:
Quote by Epicbizzjizz
You... may have kicked a duck, across a pond!?

Yeah, if I had a picture id show ya the length. It was a retention pond so it was pretty small to begin with, and I was near the end of it where it was even more narrow. Still was a pretty impressive kick.

Tellin' you..this is how football kickers get their start. True story.
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Last edited by yellowfrizbee at Dec 23, 2011,
#34
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#35
What the hell, I would never respond like that. Maybe step aside or something.

I once ran over a duck with the car, had 4 people in the car as well.
We were driving down a dark and misty road, and some ducks decided it would be a great idea to chill on the road.

Since we couldn't see further than 5meters in front of the car due to the fog I saw 'em too late and ran with the front and back wheel over the duck, like a speed bump.
Man... I felt so bad after that.
#37
I once walked into a small dog hard enough for it to be called a light kick.
It scurried away and it's mom came and gave me this look that said

"y u gotta be lik that??!!?"

Saddest thing ever, i felt so bad
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#38
I ran over a possum on a first-date once. Meh, hate those damn things anyways.
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#39
Quote by yellowfrizbee
No I couldnt get to it..it either landed in the pond or on the other side of the pond.


But either way I wanted to get out of there..the rest of the ducks were starting to give me these really scary looks. Im pretty sure I was about to get jumped by a buncha ducks. Come to think of it, all the woodland critters were starting to follow me and watch me after that. They are either plotting against me, or trying to worship me as their new leader.


Better be careful. I knew a girl who something like that happened to. Every time she went outside, she'd just be followed by all sorts of animals. She really wasn't the type of person to worry pointlessly, and even so I'd have chalked it up to paranoia except that I saw it myself. They were sneaky at first, but they started being less and less subtle as time went on. All different kinds of animals, too - some were natural enemies but they didn't care, they put aside their differences just to watch her. Freaky shit. The girl ended up moving in with these guys to try to get away from the animals. These weren't the kinds of guys you'd want to mess with, either - they were coal miners, seven of 'em, real rough-and-tumble types. Well, except one of them, who was pretty dopey. My brother told me he probably has Down's Syndrome.
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#40
Eh, ducks are assholes anyway. One time one chased me and my younger cousin when we were on a walk.

Then a couple of days later the same duck flew onto a car in which I was sitting and waited for a full 10 minutes to attack as we exited the vehicle. Was some ****ed up shit.
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