#1


As with the more fulfilling things in life, such as fathering a child, watching a beautiful sunset, getting married and becoming a grand-mother or being extremely successful in life and making your parents proud, one does tend to, at times, take for granted, one of the most simple yet powerful things of them all.


Using the toilet.

In fact, 98.84% of the world visit a toilet at least 59,000 times in their lifetime. The rest use a location and name it "toilet" after they have used it. Either way, a toilet is a godsend and unites every man and woman, child and transvestite.
When one does one's morning ablutions or takes a dump after a long day at the office or something similar, what does one do, leave after a thankless flush.

So, I would like to thank you, Toilet, for all the wonderful times we have shared in private (and sometimes public!).

tldr: Thank something you've taken for granted, but without which your life would have been miserable.

Also, **** you, condom for breaking on me
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

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#2
Did you falcon punch your bitch on the toilet ?

Else a broken condom wouldn't make much sense.
#3
Quote by Lord_Doku
Did you falcon punch your bitch on the toilet ?

Else a broken condom wouldn't make much sense.


Separate incidents.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#5
It was only a couple of hundred years ago when fecal matter ran down the gutter in the streets - sanitation, if you may. Poop is amazing.

Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#8
I like to think of the toilet as my big white friend who lets me shit in his mouth.
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#9
Toilets are useless when you have a giant balrog of a turd to pass and your sphincter is playing Gandolf.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.
#11
Quote by BottleOfSmoke
I like to think of my father as a big white fiend who lets me come in his mouth.




...I'm sorry.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#12
Thank you for being there when my bowels run at 100mph
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable


@gossage91
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#13
What did you Westerners use for toilets before its modern avatar?

we had/still have this

Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#15
Thank you toilet, for constantly clogging at the push of a handle. I truly appreciate it.
#18
The toilet in my cel is dirty. So I usually just throw the poo at the guards. WHAAHHAHAH
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#19
Quote by shattamakar


As with the more fulfilling things in life, such as fathering a child, watching a beautiful sunset, getting married and becoming a grand-mother or being extremely successful in life and making your parents proud, one does tend to, at times, take for granted, one of the most simple yet powerful things of them all.




wut
#20
Quote by shattamakar
What did you Westerners use for toilets before its modern avatar?

we had/still have this

*hole toilet*

Did you know the French STILL have those?! I shit you not.
#21
Quote by CoreysMonster
Did you know the French STILL have those?! I shit you not.

So do the Italians.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#24
I don't think I appreciate my toilet enough. It's been the victim of so much punishment and yet faithfully sits there 24/7 ready to take whatever's coming next for it.

I <3 you toilet.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
#25
I also thank the toilet seat. It underwent so much abuse at such a young age.

Now you must rest, soiled prince.

*tears like a muhfckin waterfall*
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#26
Why so obsessed with butts?
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#27
Quote by element4433
Why so obsessed with butts?


*insert generic joke answer*

Well, now that that's out of the way, I honestly don't know man. I wish I could attribute it to something acutely Freudian or to some adolescent counter-cultural cravings (being that most people here care only for the boobs).

But ever since I was a wee lad, there was just something about the plain, yet voluminous; prominent, yet almost sub-altern beauty of the voluptuous buttocks that made me respect it before I even canalized this respect into eroticism.

Although I cannot myself attribute my caustic pygophilia to any particular causative factor, evolutionary psychology and the like have copyrighted some seemingly obvious explanations as:

Evolutionary psychologists suggest that rounded buttocks may have evolved to be desirable trait because they provide a visual indication of the woman's youth and fertility. They signal the presence of estrogen and the presence of sufficient fat stores for pregnancy and lactation.


Could be the specific, individual expression of this general trait.

Eitherways, hell yea for the culo
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#28
I want to thank me.

Dead srs, I wouldn't have got anywhere if not f-
I haven't got anywhere.

I don't know anymore.
#29
Quote by shattamakar
*explanation*


Or how about: "you can always pay for better tits, but you can't pay for a better ass."

Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#30
Quote by darkstar2466
Or how about: "you can always pay for better tits, but you can't pay for a better ass."







Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#31
Quote by darkstar2466
Or how about: "you can always pay for better tits, but you can't pay for a better ass."



I dunno, I've recently discovered that ass implants are pretty hot.
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
#33
Quote by Neo Evil11
The toilet in my cel is dirty. So I usually just throw the poo at the guards. WHAAHHAHAH

lol