Agonizing over whether to delete everything after the main theme, and try to write a whole song in that mood instead of going off on the weird tangent I did.

And even if I don't do that, I'm unsure about everything after bar 137.

Halp? I'm in desperate need of some impartiality.

EDIT: Changed my mind about that. Most people post their songs when they're proud of them - I always post mine as a result of panicking late at night about the possibility of them being shit. Still, I'd love anyone's opinions.

Last edited by whalepudding at Jan 12, 2012,
It kept freezing and giving me error messages at bar 22 so I exported a midi and listened to that. I have no idea where bar 137 is. If I haven't addressed what you hoped, just let me know and I'll try again.

I think it's bloody brilliant. I'd love to hear it recorded, but I suspect you don't have a symphony orchestra at your disposal. It's quite structurally sound, you've made good use of the atrocious MIDI tones at your disposal, the harmonic layering is superb and everything flows together nicely. It's unfortunate you've stopped right during the climax. I'd like to hear it finished.

I'm not so sure you really even went off on a 'weird tangent,' because it seems to me that everything fits together perfectly. It's not like you pulled a Systematic Chaos or BTBAM on us and just put honky tonk pianos and circus noises in unexpected places. Everything fits together perfectly, as far as I'm concerned.

As I said, I'll try again if I haven't answered your queries, but I think I got there. Little help with mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28851355#post28851355
Eh, maybe it's just a weird tangent compared to the direction I imagined the song going in. And it'll be recorded, sort of - I've been hoarding orchestral sample libraries for the past year, and gradually learning to use them.

Cheers hugely for the crit, I'll crit yours later tonight probbly
Can't believe I missed one of your pieces. I was actually away from the internet around this time. Anyway, here's what I think:

Bars (1-32): Trills make for a great atomsphere. Arpeggiated Rhodes reminds me of Nobuo Uematsu. Excellent. I love the amazing amount of detail on this piece. Guitar solo is very well phrased (Love the chromatics) and the build-up/palm-muted guitar. Excellent at making tension.

Bars (33-48): Personally, I've only noticed the Bass now. I think the strings covers the frequency range so I would omit it (Imagine mixing this... It would be an insane job).

Bars (49-56): Loved the Celesta arpeggiation. Simply divine.

Bars (57-64): No vocals thanks.

Bars (65-80): Very emotional and dramatic. I expect this to be modulated, not just by key signature but also modally. Phrygian Dominant would be even more tense, it would make an excellent finish or transition into a softer, less dramatic section.

Bars (81-88): Percussion is getting drowned out here. I think a few less instruments would help (Or change of dynamic arangement).

Bars (89-96): Guitars were great here, awesome use of dynamics.

Bars (97-104): Trills again were great. Guitar harmonies remind me of
Nobuo Uematsu/Final Fantasy again. That's a really good sign.

Bars (105-112): Brass was very powerful... As it should be (I play trumpet). Glockenspiel and other instruments are being drowned out here. Such a shame.

Bars (113-120): Nice string arpeggiation.

Bars (121-128): Glockenspiel is lost in the mix again.

Bars (129-168): Nothing wrong with this section (Actually it's fantastic) but I don't think vocals of any kind would be suitable for this piece (Maybe a monologue or dialogue here and there but I think they would take away from the absolutely amazing music). I've also think after 128 there should be a section with nearly no instrumentation at all. It should be your equivelant to the interlude in "Master of Puppets". A change in pace which provides enough dynamic contrast whilst building up tension until you return with a previously heard theme (Try the Phrygian Dominant modulation I suggested before). You could also superimpose the palm-muted rhythm part in the beginning (With the Phrygian Dominant modulation that is) which would be even better (IMO).

So far this wipes every piece you've written out the door (And those were great BTW) and denies the existence of all Symphonic Metal artists except Adagio (Which this still exceeds them). Personally I would keep this instrumental. I don't want vocals to ruin such a glorious arrangement of notes and instruments. The fact that you mention a library of samples intrigues me. I have some of my own, which is giving me some rather extravagant ideas. I would definitely be interested in hearing how you record this piece. I also suggest you familiarise yourself with the frequency range and what instruments occupy what range/section. You can then use an equaliser to boost these and/or reduce the remaining section to enhance the presence of each instrument in the mix. Just becareful that the piece doesn't become too cluttered.


I have a new piece called Sanity's Departure. I think it's my best work to date that is finished. Hope you enjoy.
Epic as always. Seriously, man, some of the ways you're able to manipulate General MIDI just baffle me.

Intro- Cool little string trills. Well, not trills, I guess, too slow, but they add quite a nice texture to it. Rhodes sounds really cool here too. Aha, there it is, the trademarked whalepudding crazy circus music theme. I dunno why, but you always have stuff that sounds like that. Awesome theme, sounds kind of diabolical, but in a...relaxed way. I don't even know how to describe it.

On the ground again is some cool buildup, the way you use the whole tone sound in the clean guitar sounds quite badass, and when you come back into the main theme it's quite a powerful impact. The way it cycles through modulations after that is awesome, as well.

I hear you sneaking in that rhythmic pattern at the beginning in Coddle, you sneaky bastard. Quite a cool soundscape. Honestly, I think this is too good for vocals. You keep having the markers say you want them, but I agree with Hayden in that this would be way more powerful withoHOLY SHIT 163 JUST HAPPENED DAT FUKKEN MAJOR MODULATIONut them.

Aw, it ended. Well, all I can say is that it's great as always. Definitely sounds like you, and you should continue this by all means. I look forward to hearing the rest of it.

Pretty epic, but I thought the song started strong but started going downhill after the first two thirds of the song. You said you were unsure about everything after bar 137 and it's true, I kinda felt it was pretty weak after that. I'm not saying it was bad, it's just after how good the first half of the song was, I was expecting it to be just as good, or better.

The intro really set the mood, the trills worked really nicely. I really liked the guitar leads for the most part throughout the song too. I felt some of the staccato notes didn't sound too good sometimes though, it's probably the midi, it just felt a little too sharp on the ears, especially between 105-112.

So yeah, really great piece of music, but I just thought the last few dozen bars of the song were slightly disappointing. Nice one man.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1453656&page=1 Make sure you click on the newest version!
Intro is epic.

Lead guitar 25--> was cool too.

33--> Symphonies oO

49--> intresting sound.

Heroic maintheme.. Nice lead guitar

I got to mention that this song needs more volume for drums/bass and guitars..
And this would be perfect intro song for.. folk/power metal album.

Ruggend wind¤/&¤%/ - awesome part. This has some power!
Nice song.
Thanks enormously @ everyone for crits, I'll return them over the next few days.

I'm going to go with Seb1uk's post and delete the last few bits - I have a habit of sticking to pre-planned structures even when they clearly don't work as well as I'd imagined. AND Haydenhohn's post gave me an idea for an interlude that I really like.

And yeahhh, I've since decided vocals will be minimal at most. I have a melody I like that'll fit amongst the main theme, I think I'll have the main theme return at the end with vocals in it. I'll notate the part in GP5 to make sure it works. Maybe there'll be a short vocal section immediately before it to introduce them, otherwise probably none.

EDIT: Oh and regarding recording - I'm gradually recording all my recent songs - with a older thing called Dream Sequence being the cut-off point - and saving money to get it mixed and mastered by someone with some idea of what they're doing. I love production and building up soundscapes and recording and whatnot, but mixing makes my ears die.

EDIT @ Emperor's Child - Never heard of them before now I'm 'fraid - I enjoyed that a lot though, cheers for introducing me to them
Last edited by whalepudding at Jan 14, 2012,
Very nice piece, and I like the epic, circus theme you have going on. It's very reminiscent of Battle Circus, especially this song:

Being from that side of the world, I'm curious to know if you listen to them?
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
Two Notes Torpedo CAB