#1
The best way to truly not care is to find one better
it isn't my fault it's completely my fault but it's still not
there is always the out
always the one word explanation
self given and self believed -
but not really.
had the experience before
of being able to breathe finally
when I set my insides on fire
it subsided too fast
and fooled the fool like I was getting away with it.
Remember such solidity
it returns right away
and it's there then if you need it
instead of being one dying thousands of little times
knowing right away and being willing to fight to the death
at the drop of a hat - and they all know it
both ways.
and I wondered why?
the answer is so simple it's pathetic
****ing pathetic
like the 8 year old kid sucking his mama's titties oblivious.

But she's cruel and loves it
she'll come to you in your dreams offering
but the only thing that's real is the world through your senses
and dreams can be tricks like siamese twins for 5 cents
but of course she doesn't exist,
her trick is making you think she does
and it's a matter of fighting with yourself
to the death.

Kill the kid
(doesn't mean you can't still laugh).
#2
A little too much time spent explaining things and not enough craftmanship to really endear me to the piece. It needs a bit more wit and spunk about it if you're going to write in such a blunt style. This comes off a little more angsty than you might have thought. The ending is sharp and intrigues but the first block especially isn't smart enough to convince.