#1
I was in Thailand (not 'Nam as the title says) a little while back and was playing strip poker with a group of randoms in my hotel room. I don't exactly remember why anymore, but one of the girls decided it would be funny to kick me in the balls, but not like a front-on, average everyday kick in the balls, but more of a push kick (if that makes sense)...while wearing high heels.

Anyway, this girl had enough force behind her kick to stab me in the guch with the heel of her shoe. It wasn't an overly deep wound or anything, but it hurt quite a lot as you could imagine and is in a particularly awkward spot, so it was certainly uncomfortable.

Long story short, I had to get four stitches on my guch in a filthy Thai hospital because this girl can't kick properly. Everything all of a sudden became complex; walking, sitting, taking a shit, putting pants on - this girl ruined the last two days of my holiday because of her reckless diva karate moves. I didn't even get sympathy sex out of the whole ordeal, and because my guch was all stitched up I don't even think I was capable of having sympathy sex anyway.

Has anyone else had any bizarre injuries like this one? I'd like to think I'm not the only one out there with a deformed guch, but stories about injuries to other areas of the body are welcome too.
#4
All I'm gonna say is DO NOT butt a cigarette on your scrotum when you're drunk.
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You sick bastard.



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Last edited by shattamakar at Jan 4, 2012,
#5
Is "guch" what Australian people have in place of a gooch?
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#6
Cool story, bro.
"You have brains in your head,
You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself,
any direction you choose,
You're on your own,
And you know what you know,
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."

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#10
Quote by SkepsisMetal
'nam dog


The only appropriate response for this thread
NOPE
#11
I'm so glad I shared this story; if I hadn't I'd have never seen 'Nam dog. Your choice of gif has made my night Skepsis.
#12
Quote by MrSlipperyFist
I was in Thailand

...

Long story short, I had to get four stitches on my guch in a filthy Thai hospital because this girl can kick properly in heels. Everything all of a sudden became complex; walking, sitting, taking a shit, putting pants on - this girl ruined the last two days of my holiday because of her badass Muay Thai moves.


FTFY

you got muay thai'd in the gooch
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#13
Quote by MrSlipperyFist
I was in Thailand (not 'Nam as the title says) a little while back and was playing strip poker with a group of randoms in my hotel room. I don't exactly remember why anymore, but one of the girls decided it would be funny to kick me in the balls, but not like a front-on, average everyday kick in the balls, but more of a push kick (if that makes sense)...while wearing high heels.

Anyway, this girl had enough force behind her kick to stab me in the guch with the heel of her shoe. It wasn't an overly deep wound or anything, but it hurt quite a lot as you could imagine and is in a particularly awkward spot, so it was certainly uncomfortable.

Long story short, I had to get four stitches on my guch in a filthy Thai hospital because this girl can't kick properly. Everything all of a sudden became complex; walking, sitting, taking a shit, putting pants on - this girl ruined the last two days of my holiday because of her reckless diva karate moves. I didn't even get sympathy sex out of the whole ordeal, and because my guch was all stitched up I don't even think I was capable of having sympathy sex anyway.

Has anyone else had any bizarre injuries like this one? I'd like to think I'm not the only one out there with a deformed guch, but stories about injuries to other areas of the body are welcome too.


I lost my shit there.
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#14
"Reckless diva karate" did sound a little bit gay. I was going for a Black Dynamite "kung fu treachery" kinda feel, but I fell short of an equally good combination of words by quite a distance. Muay Thai seems fitting given the country.
#16
wow that sucks TS
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#17
Quote by MrSlipperyFist
but not like a front-on, average everyday kick in the balls.


You know... most people don't get kicked in the balls everday..
455 75 34 88


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Do you like being sigged or, like me do you feel strangely violated?
#18
Quote by giraffe man
I laughed at that way too hard

You wouldn't know man, you weren't there.
#19
so your war story from thailand isnt getting an STD from a ladyboy with a 9 inch dong? what a waste of a trip to thailand
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Last edited by Eggmond at Jan 4, 2012,
#21
wtf is a guch? a cock? a ballsack?
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#22
My grandad told me a fun story the other day. Whilst he was in the army, stationed in Cyprus during the revolt there, him and his mates went to a brothel and he was that drunk that he fell out of the bed. Then the Cypriot bitch pushed him down the stairs. He also said, "Don't tell your grandmother or she'll castrate me."
He was also in the same regiment as the man who wrote the Bond theme songs.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#23
Quote by Trowzaa
My grandad told me a fun story the other day. Whilst he was in the army, stationed in Cyprus during the revolt there, him and his mates went to a brothel and he was that drunk that he fell out of the bed. Then the Cypriot bitch pushed him down the stairs. He also said, "Don't tell your grandmother or she'll castrate me."
He was also in the same regiment as the man who wrote the Bond theme songs.

I can't remember by heart who the guy was used to write the Bond themes, but he deserves a medal.
#24
Quote by Drakathan
wtf is a guch? a cock? a ballsack?


The guch (or gooch) is the skin between your cornhole and your balls.
#26
What kinda sleaze-bag goes to Thailand and plays strip-poker?
--------------╯╰--------------
A SIGNATURE.
--------------╮╭--------------
#27
Quote by Jyrgen
I can't remember by heart who the guy was used to write the Bond themes, but he deserves a medal.


Mr John Barry.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#28
Quote by MrSlipperyFist
guch

Quote by Urban Dictionary

The space between ur wiener and ur asshole

Ahh, I always called it your taint. It taint your balls and it taint your ass.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#29
Quote by DonGlover
What kinda sleaze-bag goes to Thailand and plays strip-poker?


I probably should've additionally written "with other tourists", not prostitutes. Playing strip poker in your hotel room is quite tame by Thailand standards.
#30
Quote by MrSlipperyFist
"Reckless diva karate" did sound a little bit gay. I was going for a Black Dynamite "kung fu treachery" kinda feel, but I fell short of an equally good combination of words by quite a distance. Muay Thai seems fitting given the country.

Black Dynamite is the single greatest piece of cinema ever created.
#31
Put some extra intense icy hot on my member. Not actually icy hot though but that same effect. Ended up get pretty ****ed up in a lot of places because of an allergic reaction. This was my freshman year of highschool. I did it for 5$ and a Gatorade..
#33
Quote by GoxGetterxGuy
Put some extra intense icy hot on my member. Not actually icy hot though but that same effect. Ended up get pretty ****ed up in a lot of places because of an allergic reaction. This was my freshman year of highschool. I did it for 5$ and a Gatorade..


I hope you spent that $5 wisely.
#34
I thought this was going to be about losing a fake Gucci bag.
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My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


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#36
Quote by LostLegion
U sure it was a woman?



In Thailand, you really never know until it's too late/a welcome surprise.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#37
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
In Thailand, you really never know until it's too late/a welcome surprise.


Your first sig just makes this statement even funnier.
#38
Quote by ErikLensherr
Is "guch" what Australian people have in place of a gooch?

I've never heard of it spelled 'guch' in my life.
RIP Gooze

cats
#39
That taint right brah, that taint right.

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