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#1
Do tell of some awkward moment in your life, this is for my amusement. I'll start

One time I walked into a Catholic mass after eating a donut, saw a bowl of water. I washed my sticky hands in it. The entire congregation flipped out and the priest started yelling at me. It was apparently "Holy Water"
Quote by behind_you
Ostrich thread would've been much better.

Quote by JustRooster
Alright, alright. Whatever. Here's what I'll do. I'm an evolutionary biology major. When I graduate I'll give her all my text books for your birthday. And I won't even get her pregnant.
Last edited by Boer Goat at Jan 5, 2012,
#3
One time I jokingly told a girl that was born with no left hand, that it looked like she had no left hand.


Goddammit.
#4
This one time I made eye contact with a drunk guy pissing behind a bin. Our gazes locked for 10 seconds or more.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#5
So..many...times...in high school, using the "your mother" jokes to a kid who's mother recently died of cancer. (By accident; kept forgetting)
He never once said anything, so I just had to assume he'd not noticed and sit quietly feeling like a dick
#6
I live in a country that voted this guy in. Pretty awkward.

#7
Quote by entity0009
This one time I made eye contact with a drunk guy pissing behind a bin. Our gazes locked for 10 seconds or more.

Then you proceeded to gaze at his genitals, did you not?
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#8
Quote by Gorelord666
Then you proceeded to gaze at his genitals, did you not?

They were concealed behind a bin >_>
🙈 🙉 🙊
#9
Quote by entity0009
They were concealed behind a bin >_>

I bet that you hate that bin.
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#10
Quote by Gorelord666
I bet that you hate that bin.

With all the fury of my existence.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#11
I was at my uncle's wedding with my sister and her boyfriend, and I commented on her boyfriends suit saying that it was rather gloomy and that this was a wedding, not a funeral.

He had gotten the suit one year earlier to wear at his father's funeral.
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#12
Quote by SkepsisMetal
So..many...times...in high school, using the "your mother" jokes to a kid who's mother recently died of cancer. (By accident; kept forgetting)
He never once said anything, so I just had to assume he'd not noticed and sit quietly feeling like a dick



Bravo, you made me laugh sir
Quote by behind_you
Ostrich thread would've been much better.

Quote by JustRooster
Alright, alright. Whatever. Here's what I'll do. I'm an evolutionary biology major. When I graduate I'll give her all my text books for your birthday. And I won't even get her pregnant.
#13
Accidentally threw a ham sandwich in a Japanese exchange student's face
#14
Quote by vitchb
Accidentally threw a ham sandwich in a Japanese exchange student's face

I'm picturing this and it's hilarious
🙈 🙉 🙊
#15
Quote by vitchb
Accidentally threw a ham sandwich in a Japanese exchange student's face



I would love to know the story behind this
#16
I was at my step brother's wedding. It was a catholic ceremony, and I don't do well in carefully constructed social situations. Everyone was lined up to congratulate the bride and groom.

When it came to be my turn, I was incredibly nervous about doing something stupid and just wanted to get it over with. I shook the groom's hand, gave the bride a hug and said congrats, and proceeded to walk away.

Little did I know she was trying to talk to me. hahaha. I felt like a dick when someone finally told me what I had done. She asked me about it at the reception and I proceeded to apologize. What she didn't know is that I'm about half deaf and she's incredibly soft spoken.

You, good sir, have not gone over to your friends house after a hard night of drinking to find 2 dudes passed out in the same room both holding their own flaccid cocks in hand, passed out, with porn on the tv.
#17
Just the usual talking shit about a person when suddenly you notice that person is standing behind you.
Oh, you wouldn't want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise, they wouldn't wanna watch
#18
Well I can't think of one but my best friend was caught wanking to porn in his room by his mum she proceeded to awkwardly tell him that she doesn't care and that boys do what boys do blah blah blah. I laughed so hard when he told me this!
#19
Quote by Boer Goat
One time I walked into a Catholic mass after eating a donut, saw a bowl of water. I washed my sticky hands in it. The entire congregation flipped out and the priest started yelling at me. It was apparently "Holy Water"


I call bullsh*t.
Smile when you say that.
#20
Who the Hell sees a random bowl of water and thinks "I'll just wash my hands"?!
#21
I read an incredibly fake story online and didn't know what to say, so I said this.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#22
Once liked a status that my exgf boyfriend said "My gf is the best girl in the world" or something like that.

After it happened I left it, because I like the awkward lol's I got hahah



Quote by Gunpowder
Thrashturbating? Most metal of all ways to pleasure oneself.
#23
Saw an ex-teacher, who had quit teaching for awhile because she had a baby, and then I changed class so I hadn't seen her in about a year.

When I saw her, for some f*cking reason, I looked at her belly and said "again?!"

Needless to say, she looked rather offended and said "What do you mean again?"

I proceeded to blush like hell, and tell her that I'd just heard though the grapevine that she was having another baby, when in fact she wasn't.

Weirdly, she didn't look pregnant in the slightest, I don't know what came over me.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#24
Quote by Krieger91
Saw an ex-teacher, who had quit teaching for awhile because she had a baby, and then I changed class so I hadn't seen her in about a year.

When I saw her, for some f*cking reason, I looked at her belly and said "again?!"

Needless to say, she looked rather offended and said "What do you mean again?"

I proceeded to blush like hell, and tell her that I'd just heard though the grapevine that she was having another baby, when in fact she wasn't.

Weirdly, she didn't look pregnant in the slightest, I don't know what came over me.

I just choked on my coffee you bastard!
#25
Quote by BillyRamone
I call bullsh*t.

Nope, really did happen! I was about 8 or 9 years old. Lived on a military base and all of the religious groups shared the same building. So My group had just finished sevice and were all eating in a cafeteria sort of room and i wondered off into the mass.
Quote by behind_you
Ostrich thread would've been much better.

Quote by JustRooster
Alright, alright. Whatever. Here's what I'll do. I'm an evolutionary biology major. When I graduate I'll give her all my text books for your birthday. And I won't even get her pregnant.
#26
My glasses needed something fixed on them, so I left them at a shop inside a mall for about 45 minutes. During that time, I decided to wander around the mall, blind as a bat.

I'm walking around, when someone ahead of me calls out "Hey dude!".
I can't see who it is, and I can never recognize shouting voices, but I call back, "Yo, what's up?"
He goes "Haven't seen you in a while!"
Me: "I know man!"
I get my hand out to get ready for a handshake but this point he's walked close enough for me to see he doesn't look like anybody I know, nor was he wasn't talking to me. He walked right past me and gave a bro-hug to the guy walking from behind me.

I just continued walking.

#27
When women doesn't pick the flat-iron when playing Monopoly.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
Last edited by JohnnyGenzale at Jan 5, 2012,
#28
Quote by Ghostmaker
My glasses needed something fixed on them, so I left them at a shop inside a mall for about 45 minutes. During that time, I decided to wander around the mall, blind as a bat.

I'm walking around, when someone ahead of me calls out "Hey dude!".
I can't see who it is, and I can never recognize shouting voices, but I call back, "Yo, what's up?"
He goes "Haven't seen you in a while!"
Me: "I know man!"
I get my hand out to get ready for a handshake but this point he's walked close enough for me to see he doesn't look like anybody I know, nor was he wasn't talking to me. He walked right past me and gave a bro-hug to the guy walking from behind me.

I just continued walking.


As someone who went 2 years with shortsightedness before getting glasses, I know that feel
🙈 🙉 🙊
#29
Quote by Boer Goat
Do tell of some awkward moment in your life, this is for my amusement. I'll start

One time I walked into a Catholic mass after eating a donut, saw a bowl of water. I washed my sticky hands in it. The entire congregation flipped out and the priest started yelling at me. It was apparently "Holy Water"

I did something like this in a temple once, I was really thirsty and I saw a tray with a bunch of cups of water on it, so I drank two of them. My grandma saw me and told the priest what I did and he gave me this disgusted look and told me to get out.

I also ate the offerings at a temple once because they were out on a table next to water (that people were allowed to drink). I was like "oh cool they put the food out on pretty plates" and ate a bunch. No one saw me though, and when it was time to make the offerings they were so confused about where half the food went

When I was 10 I was on the swings at a playground and my friend was introducing me to her cousin he said hi and I kicked him in the face. It was his fault though because he was in the way.

I could go on, there are so many
cat
#30
When you're saying something to someone at the table before a meal and realize they've been praying.
#31
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
When women doesn't not pick the flat-iron when playing Monopoly.

Your sig just made me nostalgia
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#32
Quote by Krieger91
Your sig just made me nostalgia


Lovely. I love that song.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#33
[quote="'-[NiL"]-']When you're saying something to someone at the table before a meal and realize they've been praying.
Oh, this too.

I think I'm just awkward with religion in general.
cat
#34
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
Lovely. I love that song.


"Balloo!"
"I'm gooone man. Solid gooone"

That was one of my favourite scenes as a kid
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#35
Quote by Krieger91
"Balloo!"
"I'm gooone man. Solid gooone"

That was one of my favourite scenes as a kid


Badapam rooney

sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#36
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
Badapam rooney


Louis Prima scat singing
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#37
Quote by whoomit
Who the Hell sees a random bowl of water and thinks "I'll just wash my hands"?!


I would ....course, if I was at a Catholic mass, I'd do it on purpose just to piss them off because I think any object that's holy is a stupid misconception of the entire religion, which Catholics are famous for doing.
#38
Quote by Krieger91
Louis Prima scat singing


Oh yeah
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#39
Quote by Weaponized
One time I jokingly told a girl that was born with no left hand, that it looked like she had no left hand.


Goddammit.



ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

painfully awkward
#40
Just posted a link about a white woman having a black baby and blaming it on a 3D porn film, my mum just borrowed my laptop and asked me why "3D porn film pregnant" was in the searchbar.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


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