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#1
I know a few women who've had their SO pay for the whole thing, others share the expense, some had to pay for it by themselves. Is there a hard and fast rule as to how the expense should be handled between the two people?

I understand that it's hard to assume responsibility should the couple not be in a monogamous or a serious relationship but what if it is a long term, monogamous relationship and neither party wants to keep the child. Should the man share responsibility or should the woman pay for it whole bc it is HER body?

Is it acceptable for the man to demand a DNA test if they are in a relationship to make sure it is his? If they are married?

If the choice of abortion offends you, I don't know what to tell you.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#2
Maybe people shouldn't have kids if they don't desire/aren't ready for them...

Edit: Yes, I know. Sometimes, it happens. Except if a couple demonstrates self-control, there's a 100% chance she'll never get pregnant.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Jan 6, 2012,
#4
They should pay equally.
/thread

Yes, I'm /threading myself.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Maybe people shouldn't have kids if they don't desire/aren't ready for them...

Edit: Yes, I know. Sometimes, it happens. Except if a couple demonstrates self-control, there's a 100% chance she'll never get pregnant.



that's not the issue, this thread isn't regarding whether abortion is wrong or not.


I think splitting the cost is the best way to go about it if both people want the abortion.

If it's just the girl who wants it then she should have to pay for it.
#6
Quote by Trowzaa
They should pay equally.
/thread

Yes, I'm /threading myself.

So no doubt in the guy's mind that he IS equally responsible for it. ..?
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#7
Quote by rickyj
that's not the issue, this thread isn't regarding whether abortion is wrong or not.


I think splitting the cost is the best way to go about it if both people want the abortion.

If it's just the girl who wants it then she should have to pay for it.

Another question: who has the final say anyway?
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#8
Quote by kikaykitko
So no doubt in the guy's mind that he IS equally responsible for it. ..?


Yeah, if he didn't want a baby then he should have used a condom or something.

Obviously it's the woman who has the final say, there's nothing you can do about that at all to be honest.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#9
Quote by kikaykitko
Another question: who has the final say anyway?


Whoever wants the abortion most and is willing to put up the rest of the bill to get the job done.


How can there be a set rule for this? It's one issue that clearly has to be negotiated every time it happens to accommodate the specific actions that lead up to the pregnancy and the couple's specific financial situation.


Quote by Trowzaa
Yeah, if he didn't want a baby then he should have used a condom or something.

Unless a couple agrees to use the pill, then the woman doesn't take it consistently like she's supposed to. Pretty sure that's the #1 cause of "contraception failure" a woman regularly forgetting to take the pill or ignoring interaction rules about antibiotics, etc.
Last edited by dullsilver_mike at Jan 6, 2012,
#10
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Maybe people shouldn't have kids if they don't desire/aren't ready for them...

Edit: Yes, I know. Sometimes, it happens. Except if a couple demonstrates self-control, there's a 100% chance she'll never get pregnant.

No such thing, unless you're talking about abstinence, which is just wrong.
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#11
Quote by dullsilver_mike


Unless a couple agrees to use the pill, then the woman doesn't take it consistently like she's supposed to. Pretty sure that's the #1 cause of "contraception failure" a woman regularly forgetting to take the pill or ignoring interaction rules about antibiotics, etc.

You'd be surprised, some men are just that irresponsible. And some girls are stupid enough to do it without a condom.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#13
Quote by kikaykitko
You'd be surprised, some men are just that irresponsible. And some girls are stupid enough to do it without a condom.


True, but that's not contraception failure, that's failure to use contraception (I know the other case technically is too, but it still gets counted in the statistics about contraception failure so I'm doing the same).
#14
Quote by Steel8909
Come to Canada we have free abortions.

I plan to. Free healthcare sounds awesome.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#16
As long as the woman has the entire say on whether or not to get an abortion, I don't think they should have to split it 50/50. If you're in a relationship, though, it's only fair to split the cost evenly.
Check out my band Disturbed
#17
Quote by kikaykitko
Should the man share responsibility or should the woman pay for it whole bc it is HER body?

It's her body, but it's both of their baby. It's not really something being done to her body per se, it's being done to the baby.

In any case, even were it her body he equally caused it.
Split the cost, clearly. Or get out the coathangers and vaseline.

Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Maybe people shouldn't have kids if they don't desire/aren't ready for them...

Edit: Yes, I know. Sometimes, it happens. Except if a couple demonstrates self-control, there's a 100% chance she'll never get pregnant.

Have you ever had sex? If so... you'll know it's worth the risk.
#18
Quote by MadClownDisease
It's her body, but it's both of their baby. It's not really something being done to her body per se, it's being done to the baby.

In any case, even were it her body he equally caused it.
Split the cost, clearly. Or get out the coathangers and vaseline.


What if they conceived it during the relationship but the abortion is happening after the relationship? Should the guy still split costs or is it no longer his problem?

And I do think it's being done to her body as well. That shit is dangerous both to the girl and the kid, more the kid bc, well, he dies at the end.

And your name creeps me out.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#19
Quote by kikaykitko
What if they conceived it during the relationship but the abortion is happening after the relationship? Should the guy still split costs or is it no longer his problem?

And I do think it's being done to her body as well. That shit is dangerous both to the girl and the kid, more the kid bc, well, he dies at the end.

And your name creeps me out.

All good points.

Being in a relationship or not doesn't change it being his baby. If he doesn't want a baby, then he should pay too.

It is technically being done to he body, but that's more a side effect than the actual aim of the procedure. It's not like she wants to do something with her body so should pay, the fact she is carrying the baby is (in a manner of speaking) only incidental to the actual situation - that they have a pregnancy they don't want.
But as I say, even were it simply her body, if he had equal share in causing the situation why wouldn't he have equal responsibility financially?
#20
Quote by MadClownDisease
All good points.

Being in a relationship or not doesn't change it being his baby. If he doesn't want a baby, then he should pay too.

It is technically being done to he body, but that's more a side effect than the actual aim of the procedure. It's not like she wants to do something with her body so should pay, the fact she is carrying the baby is (in a manner of speaking) only incidental to the actual situation - that they have a pregnancy they don't want.
But as I say, even were it simply her body, if he had equal share in causing the situation why wouldn't he have equal responsibility financially?


The problem arises when he won't take responsibility for it which for a guy is doable. Just claim it's not yours (as people ARE capable of infidelity). In the case that the problem is with the guy's trust that the child is his, is it acceptable to demand a DNA test (which is about 3 times more expensive that the abortion)?
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#22
If the woman wants to keep the kid and the father doesn't, he shouldn't have to pay child support as long as he's not present in the kid's life at all. Similarly, it should work the other way around if the woman gives birth to a child, just to give it to the father and be done with it. It's really not fair that the placement of burden on both parents is solely the woman's decision.
Last edited by Pat_s1t at Jan 6, 2012,
#23
Quote by Pat_s1t
If the woman wants to keep the kid and the father doesn't, he shouldn't have to pay child support as long as he's not present in the kid's life at all. Similarly, it should work the other way around if the woman gives birth to a child, just to give it to the father and be done with it. It's really not fair that the placement of burden on both parents is solely the woman's decision.

But it's also not fair for just one party to be burdened with the expense when both are responsible so why are men allowed to demand DNA tests to prove responsibility and possibly avoid it?
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#24
Quote by kikaykitko
But it's also not fair for just one party to be burdened with the expense when both are responsible so why are men allowed to demand DNA tests to prove responsibility and possibly avoid it?

Men are allowed to demand the DNA test because if it truly isn't their child then it would be extremely stupid for them to be forced to support it.


If it is the guy's child though then I guess he's SOL
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
#25
Quote by kikaykitko
But it's also not fair for just one party to be burdened with the expense when both are responsible so why are men allowed to demand DNA tests to prove responsibility and possibly avoid it?
They would only be burdened with the kids expenses if they want to keep it, wouldn't they? Even if they're against abortion, they can still put the child up for adoption and not have to pay for his/her upbringing (AFAIK). And if the kid doesn't belong to the person that the pregnant woman says it does, then why should he have any connection with it? If DNA tests were necessary for women as well (which they obviously aren't except in special circumstances like giving birth and leaving the kid with someone). If he didn't have anything to do with the baby biologically, don't see why he should be legally obligated to support it, or even morally for that matter unless he stays with the girl and he helps raise it as a legal guardian.
#26
Quote by Pat_s1t
They would only be burdened with the kids expenses if they want to keep it, wouldn't they? Even if they're against abortion, they can still put the child up for adoption and not have to pay for his/her upbringing (AFAIK). And if the kid doesn't belong to the person that the pregnant woman says it does, then why should he have any connection with it? If DNA tests were necessary for women as well (which they obviously aren't except in special circumstances like giving birth and leaving the kid with someone). If he didn't have anything to do with the baby biologically, don't see why he should be legally obligated to support it, or even morally for that matter unless he stays with the girl and he helps raise it as a legal guardian.

I mean the expense of the abortion. If neither party wants the kid, shouldn't both parties be financially responsible for the abortion expenses?

Okay, let's say the man demands for the pricey DNA test to prove that the kid belongs to him or not, who should pay for that? If they are in a monogamous relationship then wouldn't the only reason he'd need the DNA test is due to his lack of trust in the woman (nothing wrong with that, everyone's entitled to doubt or to trust)? If that is the case, should they split costs of the DNA test?

Either way, it seems like a waste of money. DNA tests are expensive as **** and splitting a $400 abortion seems like a good compromise.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#27
^ Oh hell yeah, but I'm pretty sure that stuff is covered under Canada's Health Plan (abortion, not sure about DNA tests). If he demands a DNA test, he should have to pay for a DNA test if he wants to find out if he is the father and wants to be. If he doesn't want to be the father, who pays the expenses should depend on the results of the test. If it comes out that he isn't the dad, it should be the woman's expense. If he is, it should be shared.
#28
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Maybe people shouldn't have kids if they don't desire/aren't ready for them...

Edit: Yes, I know. Sometimes, it happens. Except if a couple demonstrates self-control, there's a 100% chance she'll never get pregnant.

About half of unplanned pregnancies happen when the couple involved have used contraceptives.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#29
Quote by kikaykitko
I mean the expense of the abortion. If neither party wants the kid, shouldn't both parties be financially responsible for the abortion expenses?

Okay, let's say the man demands for the pricey DNA test to prove that the kid belongs to him or not, who should pay for that? If they are in a monogamous relationship then wouldn't the only reason he'd need the DNA test is due to his lack of trust in the woman (nothing wrong with that, everyone's entitled to doubt or to trust)? If that is the case, should they split costs of the DNA test?

Either way, it seems like a waste of money. DNA tests are expensive as **** and splitting a $400 abortion seems like a good compromise.

He should pay for the DNA test. Whether its his or not he is the one that wants the test done, not her. I know its expensive, but you can't really expect the woman to pay either way, because she's almost always gonna be 100% against the test in the first place.
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#30
As much as I would hate to have a kid now, I would not allow her one, unless there's a very real threat to her life associated with the pregnancy.

I would have her have the kid, and I take care of it, instead of her having an abortion.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#31
If the guy wants to be a douche, he'll make her pay for it. If he actually has a heart, or loves her, he'll either opt to pay half or all.

I would offer to pay for it, if it was actually me who got her pregnant.

But in saying that, I'd rather keep the child if possible.
Sincerely,
Shitstirrer
#32
Quote by Skynyrd890
As much as I would hate to have a kid now, I would not allow her one, unless there's a very real threat to her life associated with the pregnancy.

I would have her have the kid, and I take care of it, instead of her having an abortion.

I don't think it's really your choice...
#33
Quote by due 07
I don't think it's really your choice...

And I don't think it's hers to take someone's life...
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#34
The man can do the abortion. Problem solved.


jk

EDIT: Actually as awful as that sounds, that's an idea I would consider. It's free and can't be too hard to kill a fetus.
#35
If both partners want it, then the cost should be split.
Quote by Cathbard
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#36
have the child,raise is and make it pay for the cost of raising plus its own abortion, then use the abortion money to have them killed
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Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#37
^^^Post-natal abortion huh? One of the great underrated solutions to the debate.

Don't want to kill a fetus? Fine, wait until it pops out, then abort the little ****er.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#38
Quote by Skynyrd890
And I don't think it's hers to take someone's life...


Abortion's legal, it's her body, it's her choice. If she doesn't want to walk around with an unwanted baby for 9 months, having morning sickness, barely being able to walk towards the end and ultimately experiencing what's commonly said to be the "worst pain a woman can feel" then she shouldn't have to.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#39
IMHO.

If both the parents wanted it, they are both responsible.

If only the mother wants it, the father is not responsible for the caretaking and support of the child.

If only the father wants it, the mother is not responsible for the caretaking and support of the child.

Just my opinion.
#40
Quote by Skynyrd890
As much as I would hate to have a kid now, I would not allow her one, unless there's a very real threat to her life associated with the pregnancy.

I would have her have the kid, and I take care of it, instead of her having an abortion.
Isn't it her choice in the end, since she's the one that has to give birth?
EDIT:
Quote by Skynyrd890
And I don't think it's hers to take someone's life...
Oh, I see. Well then.
Last edited by Pat_s1t at Jan 7, 2012,
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