#2
Such a cool song title.

I dig the song too. It has that doom/shoe gaze feel... Personally I'm not too keen on the arpeggios on the first movement... I think the groove would be better by itself with some messy vocals thrown on top. I think the changes could have been smoother in some cases too...

Overall I think it lacks structure but there's lots of cool ideas in here. You could probably stretch the ideas out and make like 3 or 4 songs out of it instead of throwing them altogether. But again, some others may prefer this mash up style...

Anyway, good work man!
#3
awesome breh, thanks, want me to listen to any of your stuff?

the intro arpeggios werent there originally, it was just a dopemine electric wizard kind of feel, i have that on the sound cloud too, but since i dont have any vocals, i kinda have to make up for it with cool synth sounds? idk but i write songs like mgmt - siberian breaks, a bunch of random sections, except im no mgmt, at all
#4
I agree with the first reviewer that this song is a little pregnant with ideas (if I may use an awkward visual), but you could make this work in one song. What you essentially have here are four different pieces of music -- I'm counting the first minute as one piece -- that kind of build up on their own, but then suddenly change to the next section without much of a prologue. The end of the carnival bit in the middle, to be sure though, does segue.

Anyway, what you should do is just pick maybe three of these pieces, and than just decide which one is the verse, chorus, and bridge section. Personally, I'd leave your opening piece as your intro, but cut it down so that the arpeggios are done within about 30 seconds. Then have your second music piece -- the one that starts around 1:16 in your recording -- become your verse, and than just do a variation of the either the verse or the intro for the chorus. Than you have your choice of either the carnival section or the upbeat final section around 3:20 be your bridge. After that, all of the pieces should fit together pretty nicely. Just need your friend to write you some lyrics

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28912690#post28912690
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#5
at first I didn't understand the scratchy intro but then It grew on me. I think it would be cool if you kinda faded in and eased into the song with that scratchy vinyl record sound instead of the band just coming in, BAM all of a sudden. Loved the synths going on and the eeriness of it all.

at around 2 minutes when you came in with the freak show music I had mixed thoughts about it...I liked it but at the same time I wasn't sure if it went with the previous music and thought maybe it should be a separate song. same thing at 3:20 but hey, your the composer so you can do what you want haha. loved it!
check out mines: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1504681
#6
The Intro feels like I'm Blazed. haha.

Okay but seriously That Intro is really enticing, and has lots of potential. I think there might be some masking issues which can be sorted out by Eqing?

The second section "guitary" is great. I could really picture some epic vocals on that and I reckon it needs a climax rather than just jumping into that Waltzy fairground section. You're drums seem really noisy though - you should probably gate/eq it and you'll get a better sound.

Not a fan of the next section, but that's just what i'm into sorry

and 3:20 is a little bit "cheesy" sorry to sound too harsh or whatever.

I think your best bet is working on the two opening sections and getting something awesome out of them rather than this kinda structurelessness.

Your first two ideas are brilliant.

And the song title is ace.

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https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1511092