Poll: Would you tell your kid he/she is adopted?
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View poll results: Would you tell your kid he/she is adopted?
Yes
72 89%
No
2 2%
I don't know
7 9%
Voters: 81.
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#1
Just something I was wondering about the other day: Is "wrong" in any way to tell your kid he/she was adopted?

I've heard of a lot of couples who do, and some that don't. To me it seems more dishonest to tell a kid it's not adopted when it is, than to just say it is adopted when it is (suppose you could tell a non-adopted kid it's adopted but that's pretty... messed up).

So is it "wrong"? And if you had an adopted kid would you tell it it's adopted?

I would, but I'm not sure how. I don't see why it would matter
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#2
'Hands up everyone who knows who their parents are?"

*Child raises hand*

"Think again Tommy, think again."

This is the only way to go about it.
#3
Quote by PaulyVengeance
'Hands up everyone who knows who their parents are?"

*Child raises hand*

"Think again Tommy, think again"

This is the only way to go about it.

I was actually thinking of something similar, except all my kids would stand in a line and maybe there'd be like one adopted kid in it. I'd say "everyone take a step forward if you're not adopted" and then "whoa not so fast Liza".
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#4
Two of my better friends growing up were adopted. They were twins - don't look much like each other, but they are. They knew from pretty early on that they were adopted. Not going to comment on one of their status' - can't say it's good - can't say it's bad either. I can only wish him well and hope to be a good influence. The other's doing alright.
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Last edited by darkstar2466 at Jan 12, 2012,
#5
I have seen enough soap operas that I know you need to tell them they're adopted, otherwise they throw a shit fit and there's 20 episodes about them hating their "parents". You don't want that to happen.
#6
"Son/Daughter, you are adopted"

"What????"

"Also Santa isn't real"



Completey will forget about the first confession and at least you can say you told him/her
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#7
I'd tell them from a young age. It's probably better than them finding out in later life.
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#8
The only humane way I can think of is constructing a complex scavenger hunt that will eventually, through hard work and perseverance, lead to a chest containing their adoption papers. Then it's kid of like they won a prize!
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#9
I don't talk to my kids, Ts. If I could I would tell them I love them, not that they were adopted.
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#10
Quote by ripple07
I don't talk to my kids, Ts. If I could I would tell them I love them, not that they were adopted.


that sounds like
something tortilla
would say
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

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#12
I'd sedate them and get it tattooed on their forehead so they had a lovely surprise when they came round and looked in the mirror.
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#14
i would probably explain why kids are put up for adoption first. adoption is viewed negativly by kids, it is always portrayed bad., and kids need to know why it happens and why it can be good.
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#15
Quote by WantsLesPaul
I'd beat the adopted one extra hard untill she figures it out herself.

Genius.
Quote by Gabel
You are EXTREMELY WRONG! I have played it. I own an 18W and it would be an awful stereo amp, it's way too bright, breaks up too easily and so on. Secondly, why would a guitar store sell an hifi amp.
#16
Quote by WantsLesPaul
I'd beat the adopted one extra hard untill she figures it out herself.


Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#18
Quote by BlacksailsTippa
I have seen enough soap operas that I know you need to tell them they're adopted, otherwise they throw a shit fit and there's 20 episodes about them hating their "parents". You don't want that to happen.

This man knows the score.

Though by that reasoning every 10X10 block of housing has atleast 8 serial killers on the loose not to mention a crap load of attractive lesbian couples, 2 irritating but perfectly nice gay men and some catastrophe waiting in the wings to kill off half of the stale cast... i mean residents.
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#20
Sixth birthday: Santa is not real
Seventh birthday: You were adopted
Eight birthday: Your mother was a hooker
Ninth birthday: You were an failed abortion
Tenth birthday: Your mother is still a hooker
Eleventh birthday: The American National debt is mathematically impossible to repay.
Twelfth birthday: WHY SO SERIOUS?!
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#24
Id would tell my child they were adopted. Id do it like that scene from Scary Movie 3, when he tells the little girl that her teacher is dead.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_ZSmKh64UM


I think it would go pretty well. Also, on a more serious note, I would definitely want to know if I was adopted.
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#25
Quote by spitonastranger
Kensai, you're adopted.

Not something you tell a 67 year old man over the internet.
Quote by Gabel
You are EXTREMELY WRONG! I have played it. I own an 18W and it would be an awful stereo amp, it's way too bright, breaks up too easily and so on. Secondly, why would a guitar store sell an hifi amp.
#26
My sister's adopted. I think she still remembers the day my parents met her.

I don't think you should ever hide the fact that they're adopted in the first place.
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#27
I don't think you should ever have to tell them. They should know it from day 1. Do make sure that you don't make them feel inferior about it, though.
#28
Quote by ripple07
Not something you tell a 67 year old man over the internet.


Enough ripple, it's been 67 years he deserves to know.
#29
"Our whole family matures late. I didn't hit puberty until I was 14, neither did your sister."
"What does that matter? I'm adopted!"
"What? I thought we weren't going to tell him right away!"
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#30
Yeah my mum was!

Admittedly, I don't know how her parents told her, but my grandmother is horrible, so it probably wasn't done in the nicest way possible
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#31
I hope I'm adopted.
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#32
Children are incredibly adaptable, and their reference for normality is only the things they experience.


So if you told a kid on her 18th birthday that she was adopted, she would flip out from being lied to for 18 years. And rightly so, because what kind of psycho family lies to a child for 18 years.

But if you told them constantly throughout their life how positive it was, like maybe at aged 3 when she starts to ask where she comes from they could say "we adopted you, because we wanted you to have the best life possible" and then that will be normal to her, and she won't go through adult life thinking her childhood was a lie or anything.


Really, they should cover things like this before people are allowed to adopt. If you were actually into adoption and wanted to be adopted parents, why would you lie to the kid about it like it was something to be ashamed of?
#33
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
Children are incredibly adaptable, and their reference for normality is only the things they experience.


So if you told a kid on her 18th birthday that she was adopted, she would flip out from being lied to for 18 years. And rightly so, because what kind of psycho family lies to a child for 18 years.

But if you told them constantly throughout their life how positive it was, like maybe at aged 3 when she starts to ask where she comes from they could say "we adopted you, because we wanted you to have the best life possible" and then that will be normal to her, and she won't go through adult life thinking her childhood was a lie or anything.


Really, they should cover things like this before people are allowed to adopt. If you were actually into adoption and wanted to be adopted parents, why would you lie to the kid about it like it was something to be ashamed of?

I agree 100%. Yet it's still a surprise to find out for some people.
#34
I think the best thing is to tell them when they're very young, small kids tend to shrug stuff like that off because they're more interested in their surroundings than concepts of parenthood. That way, they grow up knowing they're adopted and get used to the idea and it doesn't tend to become such an issue later on. It may also be useful to tell them that you chose them out of several other kids, kinda make them feel special for being adopted.
#36
You are ALL adopted.
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#39
Quote by SG_dave
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Quote by Craigo
Shit! Wrong option by accident. Hell yeah I'd tell 'em. I'd be pissed off if that information was withheld from me.

I was looking at the poll and I saw you voting for no, I was like "lol wut? I wonder why?" and now I know
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#40
They should know. That's why I'd tell them like this.
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