#1
Hello

Two of my latest songs i've been working on, i am writing for my bands that play some kind of pop/punkrock, though im more into metal so i try to get some metal influences in the songs, especially in the 2nd song.

Would love some feedback.

C4C
Attachments:
Punkrock - dededada.gp5
punkrock - dintroV2.gp5
#2
It's definitely a good idea to mix the metal influences you have in with the punk that the other guys play because then you're happy and the music ends up sounding like the misfits who are a really good punk rock band (as you probably know already).

dededada is what i listened to first so I'll review it for now.

Intro + Intro 2: I love the fast driving 232 bpm pace from the word go. The rhythm played by the guitar is very suiting to the genre so I can see no problems with it and the chord progression sounds good as well. I liked that it begins by itself in the first 4 bars and progressively adds in the other instruments. The fade in (feedback style) played by the 2nd guitar is perfect and i really liked bar 7-8 as it made for a perfect transition to get the song really on the go. Your "drum" section is also very solid and as i know punk songs usually have catchy vocal melodies i am sure it would sound great together. Even without the vocals the wee melody played by the second guitar is very catchy. You've placed it at a perfect point. It hasn't come in too early or late.

Overall it's an incredibly good intro section where i have little to no criticisms of.

Verse 1: I guess because of it's fast pace we haven't had to wait too long for verse 1 which makes it's O.k to repeat the riff one more time but the change at bar 33 was needed and sounds great. Kind of a slows the song down a bit without actually hitting the brakes. It's also nice to hear the little melody come back in at bar 37.

Chorus: Now i usually don't like things that involve continuous quavers because of how often they are done but in this case the pace and genre means that it is well suited. The constant quavers really up the song a wee bit as you would expect from a chorus in general and i like it. The new riff that brought in at bar 53 is again a very nice point to make a change at and it sounds good.

Clearly you are planning to continue on with it. I've enjoyed it and hardly had a bad point to say so it would be a good idea if you did continue.
#3
I usually just lurk in this forum, but I like your stuff

I'll do dintroV2.

I like the intro lead riff, but after about for the 3rd time of hearing it I got kind of agitated by it - don't quite know how to put it. I think the 4th bar in each cycle need some kind of variation, but that's just me. Otherwise, I like what the rest of the band is doing - like only coming in at bar 4, keeping it nice and sustained and doing a bit of rhythmic frills in there.

Bar 14. Damn, stylish tempo change you got there man! I like how you built that riff with, again, the lone guitar with hits and adding a harmony at bar 21. Then busting it out afterwards is sweet.

Bar 30. That's a nice lead you got there. To me it brings the needed vibe and is pretty rememberable too. I'm going to be whistling it for the next hour or two I think. The progression with that lead is nice and simple and used plenty of times though the ages, but it goes and brings the necessary vibe to complement the lead. And I like how you play the D5 and then moved it up an octave.

Bar 38. One guitar falls out. Might be a nice place for the whole band to drop in volume slightly to bring a rad sudden contrast. The chord progression is similar, but not the same, which I like. It gives it some continuity in once sense, but is not repetitive. I like the little rhythmic variation with the Bb5 chord. Gives a nice break from the 8th note movement.

Bar 46. Still a verse, but subtly different in the chord progression. You like doing that don't you I like the lead that comes in, especially that momentary dissonance for the first half of bar 49 and 53.

Bar 54. Kinda starting to bring out the more metal chops there. I personalty like a combo of punk and metal. (Do you listen to Thrice by any chance?) The lead is nice and I like how you moved from the higher open D string to the lower open D string. And I dig the 6 bar progression and that double-octave-type chord used in the rhythm guitar in bar 62, 63 and 68, 69.

Appears unfinished, but sound rad so far.

Go forth and complete thine tune!
#4
Quote by Axe Samurai
It's definitely a good idea to mix the metal influences you have in with the punk that the other guys play because then you're happy and the music ends up sounding like the misfits who are a really good punk rock band (as you probably know already).

dededada is what i listened to first so I'll review it for now.

Intro + Intro 2: I love the fast driving 232 bpm pace from the word go. The rhythm played by the guitar is very suiting to the genre so I can see no problems with it and the chord progression sounds good as well. I liked that it begins by itself in the first 4 bars and progressively adds in the other instruments. The fade in (feedback style) played by the 2nd guitar is perfect and i really liked bar 7-8 as it made for a perfect transition to get the song really on the go. Your "drum" section is also very solid and as i know punk songs usually have catchy vocal melodies i am sure it would sound great together. Even without the vocals the wee melody played by the second guitar is very catchy. You've placed it at a perfect point. It hasn't come in too early or late.

Overall it's an incredibly good intro section where i have little to no criticisms of.

Verse 1: I guess because of it's fast pace we haven't had to wait too long for verse 1 which makes it's O.k to repeat the riff one more time but the change at bar 33 was needed and sounds great. Kind of a slows the song down a bit without actually hitting the brakes. It's also nice to hear the little melody come back in at bar 37.

Chorus: Now i usually don't like things that involve continuous quavers because of how often they are done but in this case the pace and genre means that it is well suited. The constant quavers really up the song a wee bit as you would expect from a chorus in general and i like it. The new riff that brought in at bar 53 is again a very nice point to make a change at and it sounds good.

Clearly you are planning to continue on with it. I've enjoyed it and hardly had a bad point to say so it would be a good idea if you did continue.


Will continue with it for sure, hopefully i can finish it before next band practice I'm not sure if im 100% happy with the chours yet, also i am adding a solo section somwhere. Other then i will add the other verses and chours with some slight modifications.

Thanks for your crit.


Quote by UnmagicMushroom
I usually just lurk in this forum, but I like your stuff

I'll do dintroV2.

I like the intro lead riff, but after about for the 3rd time of hearing it I got kind of agitated by it - don't quite know how to put it. I think the 4th bar in each cycle need some kind of variation, but that's just me. Otherwise, I like what the rest of the band is doing - like only coming in at bar 4, keeping it nice and sustained and doing a bit of rhythmic frills in there.

Bar 14. Damn, stylish tempo change you got there man! I like how you built that riff with, again, the lone guitar with hits and adding a harmony at bar 21. Then busting it out afterwards is sweet.

Bar 30. That's a nice lead you got there. To me it brings the needed vibe and is pretty rememberable too. I'm going to be whistling it for the next hour or two I think. The progression with that lead is nice and simple and used plenty of times though the ages, but it goes and brings the necessary vibe to complement the lead. And I like how you play the D5 and then moved it up an octave.

Bar 38. One guitar falls out. Might be a nice place for the whole band to drop in volume slightly to bring a rad sudden contrast. The chord progression is similar, but not the same, which I like. It gives it some continuity in once sense, but is not repetitive. I like the little rhythmic variation with the Bb5 chord. Gives a nice break from the 8th note movement.

Bar 46. Still a verse, but subtly different in the chord progression. You like doing that don't you I like the lead that comes in, especially that momentary dissonance for the first half of bar 49 and 53.

Bar 54. Kinda starting to bring out the more metal chops there. I personalty like a combo of punk and metal. (Do you listen to Thrice by any chance?) The lead is nice and I like how you moved from the higher open D string to the lower open D string. And I dig the 6 bar progression and that double-octave-type chord used in the rhythm guitar in bar 62, 63 and 68, 69.

Appears unfinished, but sound rad so far.

Go forth and complete thine tune!


I agree with what you say about the intro and i actually tried to change some notes, tried harmony, drum/rhythm fills etc on the 3rd/4th round of the intro, but it doesnt sound 100% right. I think the intro sounds good as it is, but at the same time i belive there can be more to it.

I'm glad that you liked the dissonance in the 2nd part of the verse, i was actually thinking "how do i make the verse abit more interesting ..... it needs some kind of dissonance-vibe to it".


Band thrice i never heard before, listening to it now and its good stuff man .. thanks.
As for influences, i really love No Trigger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz61cd3MLDg <- That's love to my ears
#5
I listened to the first one. dededada.gp5.
I'm really not good at critiquing yet, and there really isn't much for me to say, except that it reminds me a lot of Rise Against, and I loved the progression you got going there. When the lead guitar teased me, it prevented me from turning it off. And then it kicked into some R+5 notes, and I just got hooked. I would love to see this finished.
I also loved the chorus; it reminded me so much of a lot of metal pieces I've heard (none come directly to mind), but it's just awesome that you were able to blend some nice punk with metal, without making thrash.
Only bad crit for this is that it's not finished


I then decided to listen to the next one. dintrov2.gp5
This one had some interesting riffs, but nothing too catchy. It'd make a good song, but in my opinion it doesn't have that "hook" factor. I think that the main intro riff good make use of some harmonies (very light ones, like turn the second guitar down and harmonize).

I also don't like how at bar 14/15, it just abruptly goes into the next part, there needs to be some type of transition, like a fade or something. Then the drummer can yell "1,2,3,4!". I know it's cliche but I think it would work with this. The main riff (D->B->C->B->D) works quite well, until you do the F+5 8th note repeat. I think it could benefit by making the last three into Eb+5. Just try it out.


I tried to critique as best I could. Would you be able to take a look at some of the ones in my sig?