#1
I'm in a band and our drummer is awesome. The only problem is that he's always "busy". Believe me, if there were another good drummer at my school he would be OUT. But there isn't. I really like him as a human being and as I said he's a good drummer. So what should I do? I also have a guitarist that is like my best friend since I was 8, he's also nowhere near as serious as me and he isn't very good. I don't want to kick him out because he's my best friend. I'm thinking about disbanding the band but it's not really what I want to do because I really want to be in a band. What do?
#2
take your time because there's no rush. i recommend disbanding for now and tell everyone that it won't work for now. get to know more musicians and in time you'll find excellent musicians and friends that are dedicated to be in a band. i've learned this from experience.
#3
Again and again this pops up here. I have a great (insert musician here) but he doesn't show up or learn the songs.

What would you think if I owned a company and said "I've got a really good employee, but he doesn't come to work and doesn't know how to do it". Hopefully you'd tell me that he'd either quit already, or I should fire him. Same rule applies here.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#4
Take the lead and say something, nothing is going to happen unless you do. Talk to your drummer and find out if you can jam more often, if it's because he has an issue with the band then work it out.

As for you guitarist be up front with him, if he's not serious just tell him to buckle down and to get his shit together. Otherwise in the long run he's only going to cause problems and waste time if he can't put the effort it, so either find a way to motivate him to try harder or replace him. If he knows you're serious about music and you really want to jam and improve good then he *should* be fine with stepping down.
#5
What you need to do is to have a civil, non-judgemental conversation with your bandmates about what they want the band to be and what your expectations are of each other.

This conversation doesn't begin, "You're always busy, you're not into it!"

Rather, it begins, "So, I think we all need to talk about what we want this to be. I'd love to get more serious, practice more, and start playing more gigs with original music" (or whatever it is you want).

And the drummer might say, "Well, I just want to jam around every other week."

And his answer isn't wrong, and it isn't something you can get mad at him about. It's just, "hey, we're on different pages, so maybe I'm going to start looking for a drummer who wants the same things i do."

With your other friend, maybe he's on board, in which case you can say to him, "Awesome, I'd love to do this with you ... but I also feel like you need to step up your practice to get where we need to be."

Forthright, honest, mutually respectful conversation.

But it also helps to know what you want. And maybe you don' tknow that yet, sometimes these conversations can help you clarify it.
#6
What grade are you in and how serious are you about this band and where you want to take it?
#7
Quote by Elemintz
What grade are you in and how serious are you about this band and where you want to take it?



We're all 15. Like I said, I'm pretty serious about it. We're only a cover band but eventually I want to start writing and get a decent fan base.
#8
Quote by scorpsfan830
We're all 15. Like I said, I'm pretty serious about it. We're only a cover band but eventually I want to start writing and get a decent fan base.


My experience is that it's hard to get a band in high school (let alone 15) with people who are all equally serious. Usually it's one or two people if you're lucky. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try and do everything you absolutely can, but if you're looking to tour, record, and try and make a go at this just be prepared to deal with people getting cold feet. If you are going to be the main or one of the songwriters in the band, then go for it and just keep playing and getting experience and hopefully you'll meet people who feel the same as you about your music down the road. Never give up.
#9
I've decided to give them an ultimatum: either get serious or I'm quitting (meaning no more band). The drummer was busy this weekend (shocker right) but the other guitarist wasn't. I texted him Friday night and he didn't want to because he was too busy playing xbox, he also told me he couldn't do it Saturday because he was having a friend from out of town come over, he never came. I just texted him tonight 30 minutes ago and he never replied because he's playing xbox again. I'm pretty fed up with the lack of seriousness. I'm in another band with more serious players now so it doesn't really matter if I leave this one.
#10
I'm a high schooler as well. You just gotta find like minded people. For my band, there's an understanding that we're not gonna get very far and break up by the end of summer since half of us will probably move away for college. A goal we have is to record an EP, either ourselves or shell out in a studio, and another is try to make a bit of cash playing gigs. So we're half fun and half serious.

And I can imagine it would be really hard to find high schoolers who are serious about music. We had a hard enough time just finding people who want to play...but once I get to college I'll probably meet some better musicians
#11
Quote by scorpsfan830
I've decided to give them an ultimatum: either get serious or I'm quitting (meaning no more band). The drummer was busy this weekend (shocker right) but the other guitarist wasn't. I texted him Friday night and he didn't want to because he was too busy playing xbox, he also told me he couldn't do it Saturday because he was having a friend from out of town come over, he never came. I just texted him tonight 30 minutes ago and he never replied because he's playing xbox again. I'm pretty fed up with the lack of seriousness. I'm in another band with more serious players now so it doesn't really matter if I leave this one.


Dude, just quit.

I'll tell you why, here's the possible outcomes:

1. Ultimatum made, they say no and band breaks up.

2. Ultimatum made, they say they'll try harder. Two possible outcomes appear here:

(a) They actually don't change at all, leading you to the same position you are in.

(b) Alternatively, the tense situation you have created by making the ultimatum damages band relationships irrevesibly so that any attempts to fix the problem are futile and you break up anyway.

I'm not going to entertain a fairytale ending here.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#12
Quote by scorpsfan830
I've decided to give them an ultimatum: either get serious or I'm quitting (meaning no more band).


Word to the wise from somebody with a lot more experience that you.

Saying nothing and getting fed up until you feel the need to give an ultimatum is a lousy way to live your life. It will destroy a lot of relationships.

You need to learn how to have constructive conversations about expectations.

If you don't do this, you will never be in a successful band that stays together for a long time. You'll probably never have a long-term successful romantic relationship. And you may have a hard time keeping friends.

Only an idiot gets mad at people for failing to meet expectations that were never communicated or agreed to.

Don't be an idiot.

Maybe these guys aren't the band for you. But here's the thing: you'll never know. You'll never know if they could have been a band you really liked playing with because you were too much of an idiot to sit down and have a conversation with them, and instead approached the whole thing with ultimatums.

That's just freakin' moronic.

You're young and hotheaded, and perhaps that's to be expected. But don't let that be an excuse for you to be an idiot.

I'm in another band with more serious players now so it doesn't really matter if I leave this one.


And guess what? It'll explode pretty quickly if you don't learn how to have conversations about expectations which don't happen until you're "fed up" and/or begin with ultimatums.

But hey, it's your life.
#13
Quote by HotspurJr
You're young and hotheaded, and perhaps that's to be expected. But don't let that be an excuse for you to be an idiot.


I'd actually argue that this is more a passive-aggressive move, because it's opting to avoid confrontation by immediately demanding certain changes rather than having a full on discussion/argument/fight about it. It would be even more so if it comes over email, facebook or sms.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#14
I agree, Alan.

It's just disappointing to see people act in such obviously non-productive ways.

But maybe those are lessons we all have to learn ourselves.
#15
Quote by HotspurJr
I agree, Alan.

It's just disappointing to see people act in such obviously non-productive ways.

But maybe those are lessons we all have to learn ourselves.


Ahh...you'll get a lot worse than this one, believe me. Hiring myself out as a session dude in the last year, I've seen some very odd behaviour from fellow musicians, making choices both personal and professional I'll never make. I basically have to tape my money over my mouth to not comment.

But you're right in saying that some mistakes you have to make yourself. Hopefully you learn from them too.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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