#1
Any helpful feedback/suggestions appreciated

"Rosina"

From the subways to your bedroom
And the skyline on your wall
I know that place so well
But I never knew you at all
Love you make me crazy
Like the fever i had last night
You're holding out for an escape
I'm sure you'll be just fine

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear

Surrealism hits you hard
From the 14 thousandth floor
You're stuck inside a city
You no longer adore
You've succumbed to drinking poison
And admitted you're defeat
What's the point in trying to rest your eyes
In a city that never sleeps

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear x2

(break)

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear x2
“I was nearly blinded when she threw that ring back at me. But I kept it in its little box. If I bump into her again and there isn't a crack pipe in my jacket ...” - Pete Doherty

Epiphone Dot
Fender American Special Telecaster
#2
Quote by cal?!
Any helpful feedback/suggestions appreciated

"Rosina"

From the subways to your bedroom
And the skyline on your wall
I know that place so well
But I never knew you at all
Love you make me crazy This line didn't make any sense to me. It can be interpreted a couple of different ways, and just doesn't sound all that good.
Like the fever i had last night
You're holding out for an escape
I'm sure you'll be just fine

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear

Good chorus. I like the way you used repitition and it all flowed nicely.

Surrealism hits you hard
From the 14 thousandth floor This seems kind of clumsy to me.
You're stuck inside a city
You no longer adore
You've succumbed to drinking poison
And admitted you're defeat
What's the point in trying to rest your eyes
In a city that never sleeps
I like these lines a lot. I wish I had thought of it.

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear x2
Maybe here, you can have some sort of very short break to separate the repeated chorus.

(break)

You've got to go
Got to get out of here
You're so sick of being tired
And so tired from the fear x2


I like this piece, but it needs some tweaking.

Also, I want to know why this song is called "Rosina". Maybe during your "break", you could write a couple of lyrics using the name "Rosina".


Also, would you be willing to crit me in the first link in my sig? Thanks.