#1
Cats playing with thread is cute.

Story time children, sit around and listen. I have a story for you.

Once upon a time, in a cold dark city in Scotland, a very beautiful nurse was walking home at night. She caught the eye of a young man, who was walking by the in the opposite direction. He was taken aback by her beauty, turned around, and asked her if she would like to be escorted home. She was hesistent at first, but when she looked into his eyes, she could see a warm kindness and agreed. They walked for what seemed like miles, and eventually they arrived at her house. She invited him in, and he was reluctant. He did not want to take advantage of this woman, even though his intention was to make love to her. She insisted that he at least have a coffee before he heads off into the cold night.

They are together in the kitchen, and she complains of hunger as the kettle boils. She leaves the room. The gentleman offered to cook her something, to which she replied that there was bacon in the fridge and he could cook some for the both of them. He began to cook, and when the food was done he called to her. There was no answer. He called again, and again no answer....

Yeah I have a problem. I was walking this girl home last night and I was cooking her some bacon. She didnt respond when I called her and I was wondering where she went. Suddenly the lights went out and someone grabbed me. I slammed the frying pan with oil and bacon into the perps face. I heard a scream, then a thud.

I switched the light on and she was laying on the floor, with burned skin from the oil and blood pouring from her head. She was twitching. I think she might be dead or dying. Since Im a virgin, is it ok to have sex with her? I mean if the police find her, or I call the police after the fact, they wont know I had sex with her before or after I accidently killed her.

I mean, all I would do is tell them that we shagged, I was making breakfast, the power cut out, she startled me, and I hit her with a frying pan....


Thread Title is

Y'all need to realise that I love to nag a ram so much.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
Last edited by Guitardude19 at Jan 20, 2012,
#4
*looks at thread title*

Wat.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#5
Of course, it's perfectly acceptable to have sex with her in that situation.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#6
That would be the most epic fail ever if this story was true.

Btw, did anyone else think this thread was about cats before they clicked on it?
Trust me, I'm a Jedi.

Quote by Minkaro
You must control your use of the force, young Trizek.
#7
What.

EDIT: Just actually read it, yeah, that's fine mate. Go nuts.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


Last edited by Trowzaa at Jan 20, 2012,
#11
2/10 for effort.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
#14
Quote by whoomit
Oh also, grill your bacon dude, it's healthier that way.


One does not concern themselves with the nutritional value of their bacon, for bacon was meant for the glory of sheer immense taste and delicitude.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#16
Quote by Acϵ♠
One does not concern themselves with the nutritional value of their bacon, for bacon was meant for the glory of sheer immense taste and delicitude.

Like you even taste the bacon after all that maple syrup you Canadians slather on
#17
Thread title is key to what?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#18
Quote by whoomit
Like you even taste the bacon after all that maple syrup you Canadians slather on


No, his bacon tastes like ham.

Also, thread of the day.
#19
There was this one time, that I went to school and saw this dude doing this chick up the bum, and I totally asked if I could join in and he said no. I was offended so I pulled an onion out of my pocket and hit him with it as he climaxed. He pulled out and jizzed on this old lady who then got pregnant and died during child birth. He ghost has been coming after me for years but I dont mind because she was totally hot, even though the sky was blue, and gave me AIDS. Its not funny though because the girl getting banged saw the onion and ate it and then cried because her boyfriend went to jail for underage sex with a minor and over aged sex with an elderly woman.

And then a plane crashed into the sky and farted bananas with a dildo in the jet stream of the ocean with doggy boners and cat bondage. These things are like totally there and these things are totally real even though they arent because they are and I have no business being inside this man, he is crying in pain. Even though it is actually a woman and I am a clown. Clown rape is funny, especially if the clown is being raped like those dudes in prison, which sucks because they must be sad with all those emotions and god giving them the gift of criminal behaviour.

Though crime is good because it puts penis in the vagina of a donkey boner machine with giant labia tits on the moon, though mars got jealous and died. Well, Jupiter died too because he was so fat and had heart problems, which prompted a cowboy to kill a kangaroo in Cyprus, even though he was in Geneva and the woman with him was actually asleep in England.

Which is a strange place to be because I dont actually live in the place because I live in life and stuff and things, but I wouldnt reccomend it, but I would reccomend adding a penis to the wall because it is a conversation starter and vaginas are soft and warm like a teddy bear or a three year olds insidey parts.

To conclude,

Penis butt.

Quote by Jackal58
Thread title is key to what?


I dont know. I was high on cat pee.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
Last edited by Guitardude19 at Jan 20, 2012,
#21
...Sorry, what?
Quote by R. Shackleford.
Glad to see the sex king getting some action I think it might be time for me to pull him out again tonight and take him for a spin around the rift.
#22
Oh I get it.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#24
My brain hurts.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#25
what? are you stupid? just turn her around on her belly.

pfoof and the burn is gone. like magic.
Quote by psyks
You are filthy.
#27
Oh I see! You're high as ****.
Gear:

Gibson 2005 Les Paul Standard
Fender Road Worn Strat w/ Noiseless pickups
Marshall JCM 2000 401C
Marshall Vintage Modern 2266
Marshall 1960A cab (Dave Hill from Slade's old cab)
Ibanez TS9DX
EHX Little Big Muff
Freshman Acoustic
#28
Quote by ProphetToJables
Oh I see! You're high as ****.

I thought this thread had some secret message or some puzzle to solve, but then I realized this.
#29
Quote by RPGoof
I thought this thread had some secret message or some puzzle to solve, but then I realized this.

I maintain that it's both. The message is probably only clear to he who has smoked the bud of the Gods.
#30
Pretty sure the thread title is an anagram of "This is actually a troll thread"
🙈 🙉 🙊
#31
We have a winner!
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#32
Fuck..
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#34
Gear:

Gibson 2005 Les Paul Standard
Fender Road Worn Strat w/ Noiseless pickups
Marshall JCM 2000 401C
Marshall Vintage Modern 2266
Marshall 1960A cab (Dave Hill from Slade's old cab)
Ibanez TS9DX
EHX Little Big Muff
Freshman Acoustic