#1
Hello, naked cork tree head held high
suppressing shivers. 86 years of proud soft bark stripped
bare to seal the pleasures of a few
one-eyed stinky winos who will
romp through dusty cities like art collectors or
dinosaurs with palsy,

how are you?
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#2
Fine, thanks. You know, breathin' in, breathin' out. How are you?
Money beats soul every time.

Money beats soul...every time.

Money...beats soul...every...goddamn...time.
#3
This read like a train wreck.

I liked the idea, but the flow of "conversation" was just trampled over and over by word choice and line breaks. For instance, stripped..... bare was a bad line break. It jolted me out of the read. Same with few.... one-eyed. You come to the end of a more or less complete sounding though, break, and then pickup where you left off and it doesn't allow the reader and easy line transition.
#4
A tree comments on life.

In theory it's beautiful.
But in actuality it's too vague and misplaced
to register as anything other than the youth of today's
fascination with nature imagery.
Poor advice.
#5
Thanks guys, it's always great to get some honest feedback. If you guys want me to look at anything in return just post links and I'll get to them.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black