#3
XJ's are taller. Taller frets are better for soloing and such but smaller frets are more suitable for chords & rhythm playing IMO.
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#5
^^ all correct. Generally XJ frets require a lighter touch to get a clear soudning note so they can allow for more fast and agile playing and easier bends, smaller frets require progressively harder fingering but do offer a diffrerent feel which I for one, love.

Also, XJ frets can lead to similar problem as to what most guitarists would find when playing a scalloped neck for the first time. Because they are taller, depressing the string too hard can lead to a slightly sharp sounding note. Obviously it's not as bad as a scalloped neck but it can happen (happened to me anyway, I've got heavy fingers haha) and does require a slight adjustment in playing style.

As the others have said though, it's all about feel. Play a few guitars with different frets and see what you like.
#7
i have never had a problem with playing them over any other fret. i suppose some people are more affected, but i can't think of a reason why. i do have pretty flexible hands go as far as playing different types of a guitar, i can go from a 50's Gibson LP Neck to an Ibanez Prestige wizard profile.
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