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#1
Seriously? I waste shitloads of time on questions that 90% of the time have NOTHING to do with the job, it takes to long and the questions themselves are just dumb. Oh let me just put down the answers that they want to hear, I'm sure the other chunk of applicants haven't thought about that Honestly what happened to paper apps? How am I supposed to stand out with everyone doing online apps? I now dread going in person only to get "oh you can apply online" after I got ready and got my ass to the place in person, RAAAGGGEEEEEE. /rant


Discuss hatred of online job applications.
Impossible is just a word people say to make themselves feel better when they quit.
Vyse the Legend
#2
Its just another way of telling you, "we have enough employees, but here's the illusion of job opportunities."
Most of the important things


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by people who have kept on


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#3
Dey tuuk 'er jerbs
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#4
Someone told me a majority of those questions, which obviously don't pertain to the job in the first, are part of a personality test. All applications are crap anyways. Its not what you know, its who you know.
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#6
Quote by Pyrax87
Someone told me a majority of those questions, which obviously don't pertain to the job in the first, are part of a personality test. All applications are crap anyways. Its not what you know, its who you know.

I'm aware of the personality aspect. But people are obviously going to lie about. That's why it's so f*cking useless. Who in the right mind answers these honestly?

Q: It's okay to take from your employer without asking, if it's only a few times?
A: Strong Agree/Agree/Strongly Disagree/Disagree
Impossible is just a word people say to make themselves feel better when they quit.
Vyse the Legend
Last edited by ricanboyguitar at Jan 23, 2012,
#7
The online applications haven't done shit for me.
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#8
i hear you.

i'm positive 90% of employers don't even check online applications anyway.

the other day i wasted 15 minutes or so filling out an application for Kohl's overnight stock crew, only to be told at the end that my application wasn't even going to be submitted b/c i didn't have the required experience.
#9
Yeah, agreed. I applied at an auto parts store a few weeks ago and they made me watch videos and answer questions on them. Most of the videos were about selling non auto part related stuff. Like cell phones.
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#10
Quote by ricanboyguitar
I'm aware of the personality aspect. But people are obviously going to lie about. That's why so f*cking useless. Who in the right mind answers these honestly?

Q: It's okay to take from your employer without asking, if it's only a few times?
A: Strong Agree/Agree/Strongly Disagree/Disagree


Oh I agree with you. My guess is to see how big of a tool you are.
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#11
Quote by vicarious46
Dey tuuk 'er jerbs

+1

Very funny episode of SP.
#12
Quote by jakesmellspoo
i hear you.

i'm positive 90% of employers don't even check online applications anyway.

the other day i wasted 15 minutes or so filling out an application for Kohl's overnight stock crew, only to be told at the end that my application wasn't even going to be submitted b/c i didn't have the required experience.

I don't think they do either. I went to a nearby Michael's arts and crafts store and asked if they were hiring. I went to this place back in high school and back then they gave paper apps. Now it was like "yeah, just fill out online". So I check and they have craploads of positions open. I'm like "hell yeah", finish app and send it. Saturday I followed up on the phone and asked for manager and she's says that they haven't even looked overs apps and they start hiring in February. Huh?
Impossible is just a word people say to make themselves feel better when they quit.
Vyse the Legend
#13
Some employers actually do check their online apps, I know that Wal-Mart's in-store applications and online ones go to the same place.

But as it's been said, it's all about experience and who you know. If you have big gaps in your employment or put down a bunch of jobs you only worked a couple weeks, you're fucked. They don't even give you a chance to explain these days from what I hear.

Quote by Nelsean
Its just another way of telling you, "we have enough employees, but here's the illusion of job opportunities."

It's kind of shitty too, they'd be doing you a solid by just saying, "Go away, we're not hiring."

edit: Protip: In your work experience, add companies which are no longer functioning. They have no way of finding out you didn't work there.
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Jan 23, 2012,
#14
Since they don't want to waste time interviewing you in person (at least right away) to get a feel for your personality they do those tests to learn about your personality instead.

I find that with job hunting you get what you put into it. Though lately it seems futile no matter how much you try. So if you just sit on your ass expending minimal effort and brain power to fill out some pointless personality test then you shouldn't be expecting much in return.
Last edited by BlackVoid at Jan 23, 2012,
#15
The worst ones are "you need experience before we can hire you" "how do i get experience?" "By working here"
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#16
Quote by Trowzaa
The worst ones are "you need experience before we can hire you" "how do i get experience?" "By working here"
jackiechanmindfuck.jpg

Yea it's nuts. Employers all want some hall of fame whatever employee that they don't have to take a financial risk with training them. With many people looking for work they can sift through 2312049123 candidates hoping to find that one they don't have to train. Whatever happened to hiring people in the general ball park of the position and letting them learn the specifics on the job?
#17
The Empire has a pretty simple application process if you're interested. Granted, you'll be a peon and my bitch, but you can't be worse than the dumb****s I have right now
Be bad. Get bitches.
#18
Quote by Trowzaa
The worst ones are "you need experience before we can hire you" "how do i get experience?" "By working here"
jackiechanmindfuck.jpg

Oh god, this. I've had six months of nothing but this, even for unskilled, warehouse work.

TS, I feel your pain. I have never heard back from a single online application, regardless of what questions they ask (even when it's just a CV they want).


I just managed to find a job, but only because I know a guy who already works there, and I emailed the HR manager directly rather than fill out an online app.
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#19
Online apps have never gotten me a job, not even an interview. Most fastfood places don't even check thier online apps imo. Written applications submitted in person are much more effective and they have gotten me at least one interview. I also really hate being told to go apply online and then the online app tells me to go apply in person for the selected postition. So I see where your coming from TS, just don't get discouraged.
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#20
Yeah I don't think they even check online applications. I filled out heaps a couple years ago, and then I went into some of the places with a CV a while later, and got a call like the next day.
#21
As someone who was unemployed for a year, I feel your pain.

I only got my job because my dad works in the factory opposite and deals with the company I work at on a daily basis.

If you're looking for work admin work, I suggest you get a friend who works in an office to email your CV around to different people they deal with.
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#22
This is just the beginning. Wait till you finish your undergraduate studies (if you're doing so) and send out innumerable cover letters and resumes custom tailored for every position you are applying for, when shit's ferrealz and you NEED that $50k job to you know... survive... and no one replies to anything you send out. That's when it gets real fun.
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#23
Last month I went into a job interview. The first thing the guy said was

Him: "Hi...hmmm, nice fit young man. You're hired. First thing you gotta do is apply online."
Me: "I already applied online"
Him: "Oh. Well I gotta check then. Either way, you start training next week."

I work there now
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#25
Quote by Trizek
Online apps have never gotten me a job, not even an interview. Most fastfood places don't even check thier online apps imo. Written applications submitted in person are much more effective and they have gotten me at least one interview. I also really hate being told to go apply online and then the online app tells me to go apply in person for the selected postition. So I see where your coming from TS, just don't get discouraged.

But what if said places don't offer written apps? What do?
Quote by Trowzaa
The worst ones are "you need experience before we can hire you" "how do i get experience?" "By working here"
jackiechanmindfuck.jpg

I'm in this cycle now. I hate catch 22s.
Quote by LazyLatinoRocke
Last month I went into a job interview. The first thing the guy said was

Him: "Hi...hmmm, nice fit young man. You're hired. First thing you gotta do is apply online."
Me: "I already applied online"
Him: "Oh. Well I gotta check then. Either way, you start training next week."

I work there now

Whaaaa . What did you do? Nice fit? What were you wearing, and where did you apply?

lol congrats man
Impossible is just a word people say to make themselves feel better when they quit.
Vyse the Legend
Last edited by ricanboyguitar at Jan 23, 2012,
#26
4/6 jobs I've had I was hired through online application. It's the same as the other method, sometimes they're hiring, sometimes they're not. The only difference is they don't tell you online. The other 2 jobs were by walking in and asking for the manager/boss and asking if he was hiring and telling him I wanna work for him.
#27
I agree. The thing that sucks is that most places only accept applications online now and they really don't do any good. I believe that it would be much better if you didn't have to apply online because then the employers would have a chance to meet you and develop their first impression before you fill out the application.
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#28
I despise online applications.


Faceless and no human contact - just how corporations like it. If they don't reply there's so many ways out.

And no I'm not acting all "woohoo against the man, let us all be communists." this is the voice of someone in and out of jobs since he was sixteen.
#29
Quote by rocknrollstar
I despise online applications.


Faceless and no human contact - just how corporations like it. If they don't reply there's so many ways out.

And no I'm not acting all "woohoo against the man, let us all be communists." this is the voice of someone in and out of jobs since he was sixteen.


The fastest way to a job is to either speak on the phone with or email the manager whom you will be working directly under. If you can get a hold of that guy/gal, you're a quarterway there.
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#30
Quote by peaches58`
I prefer the online applications. Hell of a lot easier, and it's not really that difficult or tedious to fill out.


I've bet I've filled out over 100 online applications to various places, and only ONE actually lead to a job. Every other time I got a job it was by paper application, and knowing people in the business that could pester the crap out of the owner to hire me.
#31
Quote by ethan_hanus
I've bet I've filled out over 100 online applications to various places, and only ONE actually lead to a job. Every other time I got a job it was by paper application, and knowing people in the business that could pester the crap out of the owner to hire me.


Kind of related but not really:
I've been told by many people a high percentage of all good jobs are not ever posted to public. Whether it is hiring within or the company scouting people out.
#32
Quote by FireHawk
Kind of related but not really:
I've been told by many people a high percentage of all good jobs are not ever posted to public. Whether it is hiring within or the company scouting people out.


Idk about that, you just have to know where to look, like job fairs, or at colleges, alot of local businesses will post jobs at the local colleges, but hardly anyone ever thinks about looken there.
#33
i had one short-lived "job" over the summer that came out of a recommendation from a kid i hadn't talked to in years.

Vector Marketing for Cutco. it kinda sucked. i mean, it wasn't difficult, but i didn't have a vehicle and the sales tactics are a little slimy in my opinion. the goal is to try and sell the most expensive set of knives to the customer and work your way down from there, but you're not supposed to tell them any of the prices. i just don't have it in me to swindle people like that, especially my relatives.

plus, the whole sales pitch thing is ****ing robotic and weird. during training my boss watched one of the calls i made to my aunt and i had to read this dumb, fake sounding BS to her to set up an "appointment"
#34
Job fairs only work for people who are out going to be honest. I got many interviews from job fairs because I am not afraid to approach people. I saw people with great GPAs get turned down cause they were awkward.

Also another good thing for any interview is to know a little about the company. The more important the job this is even more important. Anything over fry cook at fast food you should research the company before going to an interview.
#35
interviews are the dumbest way to decide if a person should work for you. i'm pretty anti-social and have a lot of anxiety, but i'm a good bullshitter, so i've done well at interviews in the past.

it's all about saying what they want to hear.
#36
Quote by FireHawk
Kind of related but not really:
I've been told by many people a high percentage of all good jobs are not ever posted to public. Whether it is hiring within or the company scouting people out.


Almost all jobs above the bottom few levels in the organisation go internally because internal promotion vastly reduces the amount of training and the ramp-up time it takes a person new to the position to begin fulfilling their duties. They already know the ins and outs of the company and only need to be trained in new skills specific to their new job and shown a few ropes... if they don't already know what they'd be doing anyway. It's also much more practical to bump people up to fill each vacated position and hire a new worker to fill the lowest skilled job because the lower you go, the bigger the labour pool and the more choice the company has to pick the best person.

You work your way up, you can't just cut in line because you've waltzed out of college with no experience and a shiny new certificate.


Job applications are online to save resources, speed up the process by not having to wait for applications to get passed back and forth until they reach the right person, and because no company has the time or money to spend interviewing each of the probably dozens of people going for the job.

I'm sorry you're having trouble finding work, I know as well as anyone how hard it is, but welcome to the real world, where efficiency takes priority over individual preference. It ain't fair, I know.

edit:

Quote by jakesmellspoo
interviews are the dumbest way to decide if a person should work for you. i'm pretty anti-social and have a lot of anxiety, but i'm a good bullshitter, so i've done well at interviews in the past.

it's all about saying what they want to hear.


Unfortunately nobody is psychic, so a series of interviews, online tests and a short initial contract or probationary period is the best employers can do. If you bullshit the interview and turn out to be atrocious at the job, you'll find yourself back on the job market and lacking a reference. A refused reference won't be doing you any favours in the future. Don't go for jobs you know you can't handle?
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither... nor women neither.
Last edited by Caustic at Jan 23, 2012,
#37
Quote by jakesmellspoo
interviews are the dumbest way to decide if a person should work for you. i'm pretty anti-social and have a lot of anxiety, but i'm a good bullshitter, so i've done well at interviews in the past.

it's all about saying what they want to hear.

If it's a customer service job they're basically giving you a trial run. If you're an asshole to customers they'd just fire you.
#38
I think HR people have regular conventions to answer questions like "How can we make the job searching process shittier?"
#39
Quote by KeepOnRotting
If it's a customer service job they're basically giving you a trial run. If you're an asshole to customers they'd just fire you.

understandable. i'd be the first person to tell a customer to **** off if they were really being a complete asshole.

of course, i know not to tell this to employers.
#40
Quote by darkstar2466
The fastest way to a job is to either speak on the phone with or email the manager whom you will be working directly under. If you can get a hold of that guy/gal, you're a quarterway there.



Yeah I usually phone people. That way I can tell by their voice if they actually want me or if it is all just bollocks.
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