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#1
Pit help me out here my girlfriend never appears to laugh at things that truly are funny ( I can't think of examples). So please Pit post whatever you think will make her laugh, be it a joke, a picture or even a video.
Quote by postmortem2006


One time I was getting head from my (now ex) girlfriend, I blew my load in her mouth and she spat it back in my face. Seriously.

...
#2
Just show her your penis.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#4
Girlfriend; think of Menzies penis.

Edit: Wow, i am wayyyy too slow
Quote by CodChick


Seriously, I'm not a fan of iphones and guitars mixing.
#5
Dear MenziesC's girlfriend,


Ditch this low life piece of crap, and get with a real man.


Yours truly,
Blake


P.S. Bareback or go home.
#6
I really should have foreseen this and INB4'd
Quote by postmortem2006


One time I was getting head from my (now ex) girlfriend, I blew my load in her mouth and she spat it back in my face. Seriously.

...
#7
Take her to a Raiders game.
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#10
Quote by Kensai
Take her to a Raiders game.

... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#12
Pee on her?
Guitars
Ibanez Prestige RG1570
Schecter Omen 6
ESP LTD Viper 400
Dean Dime From Hell

Amp
Peavey 5150
#14
Rip out her jaws and wag them.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#15
Tell her you love her?
Hugging Thread; I'm here to help


Oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wannna watch
Another uninnocent, elegant fall
Into the unmagnificent lives of adults


It's Tessa, not Tesse please.
#16
Cut a permanent smile into her face and maybe then she won't be so serious
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#17
Go fly a kite with her.
Quote by devourke
I love you bro. I'd totally turn gay for you after that.

November 13th, 2011. Nodincap.

LoL: Kublai Dong

MC: StealthTurtle
Twitter
Last.fm
#18
Quote by vicarious46
Cut a permanent smile into her face and maybe then she won't be so serious


Trust me, I'm a Jedi.

Quote by Minkaro
You must control your use of the force, young Trizek.
#19
Watch any Moore documentary.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#20
What's blue and shags old ladies? Me and my lucky blue overcoat.

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?

What's an Essex girls favourite wine? "can we go to lakeside?"

inb4 dead baby jokes.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
Last edited by Banjocal at Jan 28, 2012,
#21
She's not laughing because she's inflatable.
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#22
Goddamn it. The first posts are exactly what I came here to say.
WARNING:
The above is most likely sarcasm, so fuck yourself if you're offended.
Quote by shavorules42
Hey look! An intelligent post!
Quote by WCPhils
One time I saw a religious person eating so I don't do that anymore.
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Save water. Drink alcohol.
#23
Quote by Banjocal
What's blue and shags old ladies? Me and my lucky blue overcoat.

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?

What's an Essex girls favourite wine? "can we go to lakeside?"

inb4 dead baby jokes.

I don't understand the second one

Edit: I think you edited your post?
I don't get the last one!
Last edited by whoomit at Jan 28, 2012,
#24
Quote by whoomit
I don't understand the second one

Edit: I think you edited your post?
I don't get the last one!


Bum sex joke.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#25
Quote by whoomit
I don't understand the second one

Edit: I think you edited your post?
I don't get the last one!


buttsecs
WARNING:
The above is most likely sarcasm, so fuck yourself if you're offended.
Quote by shavorules42
Hey look! An intelligent post!
Quote by WCPhils
One time I saw a religious person eating so I don't do that anymore.
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Save water. Drink alcohol.
#28
Quote by whoomit
I don't understand the second one

Edit: I think you edited your post?
I don't get the last one!

bumsex and essex girls. you should get these!
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
Last edited by Banjocal at Jan 28, 2012,
#29
Quote by whoomit
The Essex girl one?


Oh. I don't know.
Apparently Lakeside is a shopping center and maybe wine is a play on 'whine'?
I don't know.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#30
Quote by Banjocal
bumsex and essex girls. you should get these!

Oh I always get bumsex.

Lakeside though...
#31
Quote by whoomit
Oh I always get bumsex.

Well, you are "the girl" in this e-relationship


-I bought a few tubs of that Greek style yoghurt in tesco's the other day.

The ****ing thing's were just stuffed with IOUs.


-What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Having a ginger son.


-What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.


-Tea is for mugs.

-I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, "Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?" I said, "Yes, she's nearly 2 now."

-A friend of mine was complaining that there's no real comedic merit to sick jokes; that there's too much reliance on a relatively offensive or risqué punchline.

Anyway, we argued about it for a while and then I raped her.


I'll stop with the terribad jokes now.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
Last edited by Banjocal at Jan 28, 2012,
#32
A pedophile and a little girl are walking into the woods late at night.

The little girl says, "Mister, it's really dark. I'm scared". He replies, "YOU'RE scared? I gotta walk out of here ALONE"
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#33
Quote by Banjocal
What's blue and shags old ladies? Me and my lucky blue overcoat.

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?

What's an Essex girls favourite wine? "can we go to lakeside?"

inb4 dead baby jokes.



Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a corvette in my garage

What's funnier then 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
1 Dead baby nailed to 10 trees

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?
Depends how hard you throw 'em
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#34
Quote by Banjocal
-What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Daniel Tosh joke

I miss his stand up pre-Tosh.0
In my heart I'm with you

every night
#36
Why'd the chicken cross the road?

To create the lamest joke in the world.
---

I bet TS's girlfriend is a blonde and doesn't understand half of these jokes.
BLANKBLANK
#37
whats pink and red, screams and cralls down a hallway but cant turn side to side?

a baby with a spear through its head.
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#38
I doubt I could make her laugh but I can most certainly make her scream..... scream like she never has before.
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