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#1
whats perplexing is that there are pistols much, much smaller than this available on the market that were not selected for anal transport. im not sure how a pistol that size didnt rectum!


North Carolina police are now investigating the possibility that an inmate smuggled a 10-inch revolver in his rectum after he was discovered in his cell with the weapon, according to reports.

Police arrested Michael Leon Ward, 22, of Georgia, after a speeding stop Monday. Ward, who had a warrant out for his arrest in an Atlanta murder case, refused to comply with police orders and was brought down with a stun gun. Police arrested him, tacking on marijuana and drug paraphernalia charges after reportedly finding the items in his car during a search.

Once locked in a cell at the Onslow County jail, Ward reportedly summoned the guards, telling them that he feared for his life and had discovered a gun in the toilet -- where police believe he threw it.

In a press release, sheriff's investigators questioned how the gun could have ended up in the cell since Ward had been "strip-searched prior to being booked into a cell block." Investigators also said that Ward was transported to a local hospital "for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward's rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed" the gun.

They added that the gun was 'test-fired' and was found to be in working order.






http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/wpix-man-smuggled-gun-in-rectum-into-jail,0,5465259.story
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#4
I wonder how many shots were fired in there?

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#5
It really gives a new meaning to the phrase "this man is hiding a 10 inch pistol up his butt".
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#8
"You have brains in your head,
You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself,
any direction you choose,
You're on your own,
And you know what you know,
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."

- Dr. Seuss
#9
This must've triggered the prison to tighten up their security
#11
People are just blowing up articles out their assholes these days. Jeez.
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#14
And we're putting these body scanners in AIRPORTS?

If anything you'd think they would try them out in prisons first.
#15
Quote by metalblaster
And we're putting these body scanners in AIRPORTS?

If anything you'd think they would try them out in prisons first.


body scanners cannot see inside of your butt.
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#16
When he saw the police, he must've really got the lead out .
Just a sub-par guitar player..

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#17
Quote by NoLaurelTree000
body scanners cannot see inside of your butt.


Well you'd think they would turn it up a notch when they see tyrone walking around like a new born duck.

Either way, metal detectors guys. Like really, i thought that would be a normal procedure thing in any prison.
#18
I wish he didn't get caught and then sat down. All you would have seen would be an exploding head.
#19
Quote by metalblaster
Well you'd think they would turn it up a notch when they see tyrone walking around like a new born duck.

Either way, metal detectors guys. Like really, i thought that would be a normal procedure thing in any prison.


Yeah but in that area, you can say "oh, it's my fly" or "I rode BMX and fell and broke my hip, there's a bolt in there now"

Also, when you get pulled over for a DUI, if you tell the cop you used to skateboard or something and fell a few times, got a couple concussions, you might be able to get off easy.
bleep bloop
Quote by Banjocal
sht up u flthy librl foogit stfu u soo mad n butthurdt ur ass is an analpocolypse cuz ur so gay "my ass hrts so mcuh" - u. your rectally vexed n anlly angushed lolo go bck 2 asslnd lolol
#20
Well, a guy who shits bullets isn't going to be a target in the shower.
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#21
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What an asshole.




it sure is impressive.
#23
Quote by Kensai
It really gives a new meaning to the phrase "this man is hiding a 10 inch pistol up his butt".



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what the fuck man

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#24
The puns in this thread.
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#25
Anyone need to reload their magnum? I've got to cock a seventh round


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Last edited by bastards at Jan 29, 2012,
#27
Imagine if it had misfired, that thing would've rectum. It was probably a bum rap anyway, I mean if he says he found that shit in his toilet I see no reason to doubt his moral fiber. Poor guy probably just wanted the Man to butt out of his business after all, so he could set up a new fudge factory in Hershey.

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#28
Quote by SteveHouse
Imagine if it had misfired, that thing would've rectum. It was probably a bum rap anyway, I mean if he says he found that shit in his toilet I see no reason to doubt his moral fiber. Poor guy probably just wanted the Man to butt out of his business after all, so he could set up a new fudge factory in Hershey.


Why do you have punish us all by indiscriminately dropping puns that obviously belong in a toilet?

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#29
He had to have been walking funny with that thing shoved in his ass. How did the police not notice him walking with his legs 3 feet apart?

Just from an anatomical standpoint, there's not that much room up there between the intestines and the sphincter. The barrel? Okay, that could probably fit. The drum? Okay. But the grip?!? That thing is ****ing enormous and bent at a 90 degree angle. How the ****?
#30
I guess he really was packing heat....


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#31
Quote by Seref
The drum? Okay.


are we looking at the same picture? its a revolver not a three piece band
signed,
your favorite poster
#32
That is seriously impressive.
Though he will now be no fun to any inmates as his ass is already wrecked.
#34
where is the Gif of the Japanese girl with the gun in her butt?
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#35
Quote by mybanez
That is seriously impressive.
Though he will now be no fun to any inmates as his ass is already shot to hell


Sorry, I had to fix that, you shot a blank.
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#36
Once locked in a cell at the Onslow County jail, Ward reportedly summoned the guards, telling them that he feared for his life and had discovered a gun in the toilet -- where police believe he threw it.

In a press release, sheriff's investigators questioned how the gun could have ended up in the cell since Ward had been "strip-searched prior to being booked into a cell block." Investigators also said that Ward was transported to a local hospital "for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward's rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed" the gun.


So, it's not actualy known for sure if the guy butt-smuggled the gun in or not.

Is it just me, or does it look like someone is trying to cover their own asses here? The thing is, it seems completely too fantastic to believe that someone could actualy smuggle a gun like that in that particular fashion, but the alternative is to believe that that Mr Ward actualy did find a gun in his cell, which, when you think of all the alternative ways that it could have got there, isn't quite as fantastic as considering that someone managed to get it so far up their rectum that a strip search failed to find it.

When a gun is found in a prison cell, that means that a serious failing in security has occured, which generaly means that someone is going to lose their job, or worse, may even be accused of smuggling the gun in themselves.
#38
For the first time, I'm happily surprised by the wit and humour of pit monkeys. Great puns but lets be honest, that man has greater buns!
#39
I wouldn't be surprised if this triggered a sudden boom in prison security.
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