#1
A simple song i wrote sometimes back! Suggestions are welcome! And please give a title to the song!

Here it goes-

When I was fallen, you taught me to fly
You stood by my side, i learnt to kiss the sky
but you just ended it all with a simple goodbye
I can't believe those three words were a lie.

So much to say, hundred thoughts to share,
but you walked away like you didnt even care!
You made me wear this blanket of despair!
the pain that you caused is now beyond repair.

I could just wonder what it would be like,
if you walk back into my life,
but its now only a dream to me,
cause i know with u i cud never be...

Life is now a rainbow in shades of gray,
Nights pass with company of lonliness and ashtray,
Bottle's bottom has got no answer to say,
And Getting you back seems light years away!

i could just wonder what it would be like,
if you walk back into my life,
but its now only a dream to me,
coz i know with u i could never be...

i could just wonder what it would be like,
if you walk back into my life,
but its now only a dream to me,
coz i knw with u i could never be...
Never be...
#3
Quote by cubs
read the rules. your thread title should be the title of your piece. if you don't have a title, use 'untitled'.

when i need help with the title, how am i supposed to put the title???
#6
Quote by RAJIV ROCKZ
when i need help with the title, how am i supposed to put the title???


if you need help with the title, it usually means you don't have a title.
if you don't have a title, you're supposed to use 'untitled' as a thread title. et voila!

you can include at the beginning of the thread something like "i need a title, any suggestions?".


also, i'm not going to get into the discussion of 'rules are like signs they dont mean a thing', lol. it seems dumb in this context and very angsty teenager like.
if you want to study the philosophical aspect of rules and the aspects surrounding them, try law school or something.
#7
Okay, I think the whole point of this thread was to help this user with their lyrics, so why don't we do that?
A good way to evaluate the lyrics is to try to figure out if they got the message across that you really wanted to come across. If they seem to describe your words and thoughts well, then they are good lyrics and chances are that others will relate as well.
I would just reccomend not trying to make every line "rhyme". It can be a bit repetitive and "bore" the reader/listener if they know that a rhyming word is coming next. Try to focus on making the words *flow* as opposed to rhyming! Good job anyhow, keep it up, keep writing! I see potential.
#8
Quote by FenderMayer

I would just reccomend not trying to make every line "rhyme". It can be a bit repetitive and "bore" the reader/listener if they know that a rhyming word is coming next. Try to focus on making the words *flow* as opposed to rhyming! Good job anyhow, keep it up, keep writing! I see potential.


first valuable advice in this thread! Ya, will surely try to make the words flow in my next songs! Thanks FenderMayer.