#1
My title sounds cold, i apologize.

My father passed away this morning from a heart attack unexpectedly at 4am.

Im still deeply upset and hasn't suck in yet but how do you even begin to overcome something like this or begin to accept it?

He lives about 200 miles for me and i only saw him when hes local doing work

Im still crying as i write this but not looking for sympathy just an understanding.

Thank you pit.
Last edited by smokedereefa at Feb 1, 2012,
#2
I don't know what to say, dude. But if this really did happen, i'm really sorry.

Its best to go to the hugging thread about this.
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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#4
i couldnt imagine how that feels. but maybe you could cope by learning a favorite of his on guitar. maybe even play it at his memorial. thats what i plan to do.in my case i would play boston,scorpions or motley crue. some of my fathers favorites
iron FUCKING maiden!!!
#5
It certainly won't be easy. My mom suddenly passed away a little over a year ago and I still struggle with it every day. The only advice I could offer would be to accept any help that you are offered by friends and family. If you let people in and let them help you through it, the pain will be eased the slightest bit. It's not much but it's something :/ I'm very sorry for your loss, UG is here for you
#6
I'm really sorry to hear that. Its always terrible to go through loss but eventually the pain subsides and you think fondly of that person and they never leave your heart.
#7
thank you for the replies and your respects.

I just feel like sitting alone and crying, i just keep 'seeing him' laying there sorry for how morbid that sounds. Him and his girlfriend was expecting their 2nd baby and was due birth this week which upsets me even more
#8
A man may pass away, yet lives in our hearts and memories. Person we knew, never dies.
Last edited by Laterr at Feb 1, 2012,
#9
Quote by smokedereefa
thank you for the replies and your respects.

I just feel like sitting alone and crying, i just keep 'seeing him' laying there sorry for how morbid that sounds. Him and his girlfriend was expecting their 2nd baby and was due birth this week which upsets me even more



Oh, fuck.

I'm so sorry.
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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#12
not to be a dick, but that join date, and all the piling up coincidental tragedy. smells of troll

i'll give you the benefit of the doubt though, sorry for your loss and all that
sorry im a heartless bastard
but hang in there
#13
I feel worse because i passed my driving test yesterday and was planning to drive up and see him this weekend to suprise him, his girlfriend wouldn't let anyone see him, controlled him and use to use his son against him, everytime he would leave she would emotionally blackmail with his son.

thank you again for your respects. I just need to talk and spill my heart out.

^ I use to be on UG and closed* my account, hence the random name and recently joined again.
Last edited by smokedereefa at Feb 1, 2012,
#14
sorry to hear that. take this time to be with your family and be strong for them.

what you can do is simply live in a way that would make your father proud. the onus is on you to be a good, caring, honest, loving and hard-working person. for your family. for yourself. and for those who never knew and will never know him. he lives on in your character. take this as an opportunity to grow into a better person if not only for your fathers sake.

death is inevitable. your reaction is not. when a rock sits on the beach, the inevitable tide washes over it. is the tide corroding the rock or simply reshaping it? the choice is yours.
#DTWD
Last edited by primusfan at Feb 1, 2012,
#15
I don't know your father, but he probably would've liked you to have been happy for him. Being upset is not what he would've wanted for you.

I mean, when i die, i don't want people to upset for me. I want people to be happy that they knew me. Because i love them. I would feel so guilty if people were crying for me. As my death had inflicted pain on them. I don't want my friends to suffer. And i'm sure your dad wouldn't want you to suffer either. You can be at peace, if you're happy for him, because that's what he would've wanted.
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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Feb 1, 2012,
#17
Good luck TS. I can't really give any advice, but I'm hoping for the best for you.
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#18
People die, it sucks.
My ol' man went and died too recently.
Everything went to hell. Lost my job, took up drinking, and my mother hates me.
Deal with it.
Say goodnight to the world...
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. "

TURBO BASS get.
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#19
Really sorry to hear that man. I hope you and your family will be alright
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#20
Quote by smokedereefa
My title sounds cold, i apologize.

My father passed away this morning from a heart attack unexpectedly at 4am.

Im still deeply upset and hasn't suck in yet but how do you even begin to overcome something like this or begin to accept it?

From my own personal exprience, I would say that you don't.
What I mean is, you shouldn't try to find a way to begin to overcome it, that'll just gradually happen with time, although you'll always miss him.
Don't feel bad about grieving, grieving is natural, if you try and suppress your grieving it'll just f*ck you up.

But if you really wanna do something to help make you feel better, celebrate his life.
#21
So sorry to hear about your loss man. I haven't been put in this situation but I have a couple friends that have. I know you're going to want to be by yourself most of the time in the near future, and that's what I could see myself doing as well. What you have to try and do is get out and spend some time with your close friends and family. They will be the ones that will help you feel better the quickest. Try to keep busy, go skating, go to movies, go shopping, anything really.

Also, that idea of learning some of your pop's favourite tunes on the guitar is an awesome idea actually. It will help you remember him every time you play the songs and all the good times you shared.

I just want to give you my condolences and wish you and your family all the best. Hang in there man and know there are always people you can talk to, don't keep to yourself, share your feelings with the others who had also loved your father.

Stay Strong.
GEAR:
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"There's nothing constant in the universe.
All ebb and flow, and every shape that's born,
bears in it's womb, the seeds of change".
#22
Sorry to hear that man. I lost a brother almost three years ago. It's rough, really rough, but it gets easier, eventually. Just keep trudging along is really the best advice I can give. Time won't heal it, it won't make it suck less, but it will make it easier to deal with.
#23
Sorry for your loss bro

I lost my mum last May and it's still affecting me on a day to day basis :/
#24
no one can tell you how to mourn or get over the loss of someone you knew personally like that. Especially a parent. Even for those who have also lost parents it can be difficult to accurately gauge what each individual is dealing with and how they can cope/help others cope.

The best advice is to try and remember the good and live your life how he would have wanted you to or in a way you know would have made him proud. All i can offer. Lost my best friend about 5 years ago. Sometimes is still get me.
Knowledge is power
#25
Time.
That is all.
The grief never leaves.
The void is never filled.
But time wears the jagged edges from the hole.
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#27
Very sorry to hear this man.
What I did when a close relative of mine died is that I got all the sadness out of my system early on. Then when I reminisce, I think of the good times that I had with him. Be optimistic!

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#28
Death is a part of life, and it'll hurt a lot for a while but the important thing is to learn as much as you can from your experiences with him and his life. Don't be afraid to cry it out. Grief is magnified manifold by keeping it inside. Take care man.
#29
Just keep crying, seriously. It will make you fell better, just grab a pillow and cry all the night until you fall asleep. That could help. Just stop thinking for a little bit, until you feel better. I won't say make smething about music, but well, do something that he'd like see you doing. I mean, like an exemple: If he'd like to see you finishing school, or winning something right? Honor his memories by a such stuff. It is always difficult to lose someone, maybe mostly cause you couldn't spend more time with them. Maybe, from now on, you can start showing your love to people, by erasing all your taboos your prejudices, and your shame, just spend more time with your mother or other relatives or any other people who is important for you, if you didn't before. Btw, you may prepare a speech for funeral, he'd like that.
#30
Time. Time is the only thing that will help.

There are stages of grief that you will go through, ending with the last state- acceptance.

Death isn't something that you can just get over. Only through time will you begin to heal. Parents are hard to lose.

#31
Thank you guys, im feeling better about it after these posts and your experiences.

Sorry for everyone else's losses, my condolences to your families and yourself.
#32
Make sure you don't repress emotions. It's okay to be upset, and it's worth knowing yourself how you feel about it. You can't do it forever, but it's definitely okay for the shortwhile.
#33
Quote by Craigo
Make sure you don't repress emotions. It's okay to be upset, and it's worth knowing yourself how you feel about it. You can't do it forever, but it's definitely okay for the shortwhile.



I think we all must stop hiding our emotions, just gotta show what we have inside huh?
That's the biggest problem today, hiding our emotions, from prejudice, from shame, taboos, etc. As I stated before
#34
I'm very sorry to hear about this. From my experience in losing people I was close to, the best I can suggest is that you keep on talking about it. Let the emotions and tears out as much as you can. In doing so, the full understanding and acceptance of what happened will eventually sink in and take away a fair amount of the pain and grief you're feeling. It won't all fade away, but enough will dissipate in time so you can live normally. From then on, all you can really do is to try and live out the rest of your life in a manner that you feel could make him proud. Everyone handles traumatic events differently, but this is one way that I know helped me a lot when I lost my grandfather. Once again, you have my condolances and sympathy. I hope you can pull your way through alright.
Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Wanna join me when I take my turn to pour the gas, light the match, see your world flip upside down and drop until it's inside out?
Last edited by Sewn Up at Feb 1, 2012,
#35
Man, I went through this exact situation.

Time, that's the only real cure, but make sure you talk to people.

my condolences.
Last.Fm

“If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.”
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#36
triple hugs. I'm sorry man. Luckily I've only had to deal with pet deaths so far, but we're all here for you. Just let the emotions come, you won't feel better immediately but it can help you put things in perspective. Bottling things up is the last thing you want to do.
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You've clearly never read any Confuscius.

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I can see the walls being torn down again
Only to be rebuilt in another name,
On a different day
#37
I cant even begin to imagine how you feel man. Really sorry to hear that
Is it hot in here??

This one time in Dubai.....

#38
Hey guys, its late here and have had a great laugh with my family about good times with my dad. Texted his phone telling him how much i loved him to get some closure for myself.

Keep trying to think of the positives of his life and how much he loved us, i will miss him dearly.

Sorry for how depressing this thread is, and for the help.

I wish you all the best guys.