Poll: No TP? Wat do?
Poll Options
View poll results: No TP? Wat do?
Bare hands
20 19%
Bear hands
31 29%
Sink
19 18%
Shower
55 51%
Towel
20 19%
Undies, then go commando
25 23%
Undies, then put them back on
14 13%
Socks
31 29%
Don't wipe
19 18%
Call to friends for help
33 31%
Voters: 107.
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#1
Hey Pit,

My roommates are refusing to buy toilet paper, and I bought it the last three times, so we're all out. It's just a matter of time before shit gets messy. Literally.

So, what do you do when you're all out? How do you deal with bum clag when there's nothing to wipe with?

Poll coming
Hahahahahahahahahah hahahaha har har har
#3
Hands. Like a real man.
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#5
Use boxers .. then throw them away.

Peel the cardboard toilet roll apart gently and use that piece by piece.

Newspaper / Beano / Dandy ..

Pray for that 1 in 10 chance of it being a Ghost Shit .. where there's nothin there as you wipe.

Ask neighbours for a roll.

Don't wipe and be a dirty ****er.

The possibilities are endless.

PS I've used all of these options numerous times.
Blue Jays, Seahawks, Raptors, Habs, Peterborough United FC, Gold Coast Suns.
#9
A friend of mine said he ran out last year, so he'd just shower after pooping.

Save the last roll for yrself, only bring it in with you & hide it afterward. Make yr friends deal with no paper, then they'll change their tune.
#10
Quote by neidnarb11890
A friend of mine said he ran out last year, so he'd just shower after pooping.

That is vile.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#11
Rip off some grass off your lawn and use it
Pee on a bucket and then use the urine to wash down your ass
Rub peanut butter in your third eye and have your dog lick it
Ask for someone to rimbjob you
Wipe it with a between the buried and me cd (the case might hurt your ass so just use the booklet)
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Last edited by Ometh at Feb 4, 2012,
#13
Quote by Ometh
Rip off some grass off your lawn and use it
Pee on a bucket and then use the urine to wash down your ass
Rub peanut butter in your third eye and have your dog lick it
Ask for someone to rimbjob you
Wipe it with a between the buried and me cd (the case might hurt your ass so just use the booklet)


lold hard
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#14
You could use books (preferably ones belonging to them). Or you could but toilet roll and keep it for yourself.
#16
Get a goose. QI says it's the most sublime anus cleansing experience there is to be had.
#17
Quote by neidnarb11890
A friend of mine said he ran out last year, so he'd just shower after pooping.

Save the last roll for yrself, only bring it in with you & hide it afterward. Make yr friends deal with no paper, then they'll change their tune.


What I was gonna suggest if this is a real question. Also with the last roll, you can get in a few good wipes with one clump of toilet paper, so you can make the last roll last even longer.
#18
put a sock on your arm (kinda like a condom/puppet) scrape the shit out of your ass.
FORZA CATANIA
#19
Quote by Faux
Smooth rocks actually work really well.

That would be a good idea if people tended to keep them in their bathroom. I mean, there are options, yes, but you really don't want to have to leave the room.

Toilet brush, I guess?
Hahahahahahahahahah hahahaha har har har
#20
Wipe your ass with their T-shirts until they settle and buy some TeePee
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#21
buy some and keep it in your room when you're not using it. alternatively you could use their pillowcases and toothbrushes
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
Last edited by Eggmond at Feb 4, 2012,
#23
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
#25
Steal toilet paper from the bathrooms at your school, fast food places, amongst other places
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#27
What I would do is act like an adult and spend the two dollars it takes to buy some toilet paper.

Seriously - you're old enough to have a roommate, pay rent, and live without supervision but you're having a lovers' spat with your buddy over who pays for a roll of TP?
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#28
autoanilingus
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#30
Ahh I got a new idea: grow your hair so it's below your ass and then wipe with it.
This also works with beards.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#33
Quote by strat0blaster
What I would do is act like an adult and spend the two dollars it takes to buy some toilet paper.

Seriously - you're old enough to have a roommate, pay rent, and live without supervision but you're having a lovers' spat with your buddy over who pays for a roll of TP?

Wow, that was pretty condescending.

Here's where I get off: groceries are expensive here and I'm living on a budget. Like I said, I bought TP the last three times and I simply can't afford to keep buying everything while nobody else pitches in.

It's obviously a non-serious thread, dude. I don't need your advice. Relax, man.
Hahahahahahahahahah hahahaha har har har
#34
you could also grow a long beard and use that
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#35
Quote by Eggmond
you could also grow a long beard and use that

Quote by Ometh
Ahh I got a new idea: grow your hair so it's below your ass and then wipe with it.
This also works with beards.

I beat you to it, biatch. Now suck it
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#36
Take a sheet of printing paper and crumple it a set of times...eventually it becomes quite soft.
The content of this signature is pretty much irrelevant
#37
Quote by McTodd
Wow, that was pretty condescending.

Here's where I get off: groceries are expensive here and I'm living on a budget. Like I said, I bought TP the last three times and I simply can't afford to keep buying everything while nobody else pitches in.

It's obviously a non-serious thread, dude. I don't need your advice. Relax, man.

I'm condescending for telling you to be an adult and just buy what you need?

Alright; SRS ANSR - Buy some for yourself.

And if this is obviously not a serious thread, consider the advice you say is so tinged with venom that it makes your butt pucker a joke as well, since I'm obviously joking about as much as you're not asking for advice.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#38
Wait, do people actually think that TS wants to find something to use for the next few weeks because he doesn't want to buy toilet paper?
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#39
Quote by McTodd
Hey Pit,

My roommates are refusing to buy toilet paper, and I bought it the last three times, so we're all out. It's just a matter of time before shit gets messy. Literally.

So, what do you do when you're all out? How do you deal with bum clag when there's nothing to wipe with?

Poll coming


Stupid stuff like this is why I haven't moved out of my mother's house while being at university.
Quote by neidnarb11890
the chinese take-out place my family always ordered from gave you chopsticks, so as a kid it was fun to try & eat with chopsticks
now i just use a fork, 'cuz nothing is fun anymore & i just want to shovel food into my mouth to fill the void
#40
Quote by theogonia777
Wait, do people actually think that TS wants to find something to use for the next few weeks because he doesn't want to buy toilet paper?

He should totally use the money he would've spent on toilet paper as toilet paper.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
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