Its a vocal cover of the Boyce Avenue cover of Mr.Brightside.

My vocals are on left and music is right, I added reverb and another audio track slightly delayed to make it sound kinda cool, I can post the non reverb version if someone wants.

It sounds like you were singing like you were trying to hide your voice, making it so others can't hear you. That is never a good way to practice singing, you have to practice where you're comfortable being as loud as you want. Without it, you'll never improve. Your singing seems to be very monotoned, no pitch differential. And when you did have to go high, your tone wasn't very strong, almost like a whisper.
my right speaker doesn't work, the singing is hysterical out of context of the music...

(i used headphones after i stopped laughing)


sing louder, sing in the right octave(your an octave low), sing less breathy.

the singing was on pitch(albeit it an octave low) most of the time but because you were singing so quietly your voice kind of died out a bit.

also, on longer notes make sure you end the note in pitch, you seemed to always drop in pitch at the last second.
Yeh i still have a cold so not able to really sing loud, I figure main thing I need to focus on is pitch now.