#1
Finished up this piece shortly after my last one, but didn't feel the need to post it immediately.

Song was mainly inspired by Ron Jarzombek's work his projects, such as in Blotted Science and Spastik Ink.

The entire song revolves around wholetones essentially, but I feel that I was able to pull off the effect fairly well.

C4C.
Attachments:
Delirious.gp5
#2
This is awesome. I haven't got much to say. I'll try though. BTW, nice to see a tempo change.

Vitreous Humour (55-70): Excellent section but it might be worth exploring some ornamentations and articulation such as legato or accents. Just a thought.

Jarzy (71-92): I absolutely loved this section. The phrasing really made it.

Mania (119-128): I personally thought this section didn't contribute much. If it was more chaotic than the psychotic break then I think my opinion would be very different. I would either remove this section or make it more chaotic. But take it as you will.

Everything was great otherwise. Again, I loved the "Jarzombek" styled solo. Keep up the great work.

Anyway, you can take a look at my latest, "Bifurcation and Chaos" or you can wait for another I'm currently working on. It's mainly inspired by Unexpect, Yoko Shimomura and Death at the moment so unless you're really enticed by that then I wouldn't worry.

"Bifurcation and Chaos"
#3
I've already taken a look at your piece, but I think I'll wait for the next one. Sorry.

And Mania is essentially a wind down section after the initial build so that the end can segue properly.
Last edited by Life Is Brutal at Feb 12, 2012,
#4
critting as i listen

Intro
Nice and earie intro , change build up on that pretty well

i must say it pretty interesting but at the same time cind of boring to listen to

since the same things repeat alot and there doesnt seem to be any climax or something , just section after section without really a lot of feeling when listening to it.

insanity isnt all bad is exactly what i meant , brings back some feeling to the song as an outro

All in all it was cinda boring to listen to but than again this isnt my type of music wich says a lot really , so i guess you made a good song but it just isnt for me


Can you C4C In Flanders Fields for me its in my sig and theres a mp3 link if you dont have GP6 , thx
#5
The intro feels a little scattered to me. It took me a couple listens to get into it. Aqueos Humor really picks up though. I really like how the 2 guitars complement each other throughout the peice.
The 2 pianos were really good too at the end.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1519902
#8
It has an interesting atmosphere but I'm not really into extremely dissonant music like this. It's just something that doesn't appeal to me. It's still a pretty cool piece though.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7421
Ibanez SA160
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Randall RM100
Madison Divinity II
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
H&K 4x12
#9
This is probably one of my favorite songs from you, from what I can remember and have heard so far.

First off, the drums are definitely better than before, still lack a bit of something in some parts, as in they seem to lose themselves and aren't always able to hold the groove together, but I definitely think you made a lot of improvement on that point.

Intro is simple and nice. I think the piano recurring theme is alright, it works sure but it's not exactly amazing, when the punches come in it's pretty cool though. As always it's a language which is hard to appreciate at first but I feel you're starting to get more of a knack for what works in the style you write and it's starting to sound more and more cohesive, and enjoyable, at least to me.

My favorite theme and riffs are definitely the ones that stem from the idea "Aqueous Humor". I really, really like that riff, probably the riff you've written I enjoy the most. At least that I can remember, this one really has a cool groove and feel to it, very cohesive, while remaining uniquely, strange I guess. Colorful, I like it.

Not sure about Vitreous Humor. When the solo starts it's amazing, that solo is really cool and I dig it, but before that it's hit and miss, some of the passes I find real cool, some of them not so much.

Might be, again, because the drum needs to create a pulse in a section like that which really accentuates the rhythmic and the notes that you consider important, and I don't think the drums accomplish that properly.

Variation break and mania are good stuff, enjoyed them all, good flow.

I kind of like the piano at the end, but I don't like the fact that it ends there.. know what I mean? It's not a bad idea, it just ends the song very, dryly. Inconclusively, out of the blue, for me. Kind of lets the song die without a punch, as an afterthought.

Good piece bro, don't stop composing. Always a pleasure to hear original, unique music, and I'm glad you're working hard at improving it as you go .

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1526438