#1
the restoration had absolutely nothing going for it, literature wise. **** you wycherley and all your goddamn french eunuchs.

what i'm trying to tell you's
coming out in garbled speech
gargling streams startling barnacles
on barges, fish barging into oyster pearl homes
sentiments lost in the current
state of affairs i've drowned myself in
what i'm trying to tell you's floo
ding ov
erintoo
therthoug
htssoic
antcas
talineo
rlifepr
eserve
rtosav
eitfrombe
ing

swept awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


--i'll fish for a compliment
but hook only old firestone tires
sinew seaweed sewage and bones


lie to me lie for me
and i'll
lie to you lie for you


if i could fathom
your undulating
rhythms, undersea
undersee, oversee,
on the sand

i mean understand
what makes you move like that
i'd be floating right alongside you
in uncharted uncomfortable unexplored waters
despite my inability to swim
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#2
I enjoyed it. I might not totally get the point of the song but I enjoy the wording and lack of rhymes.
Quote by willT08
Quote by HowSoonisNow
How was Confucius death metal?
You've clearly never read any Confuscius.

As I wait on the edge of the earth,
I can see the walls being torn down again
Only to be rebuilt in another name,
On a different day
#3
Yeah, nice and easy, washed in and out like waves, and I enjoyed it, too.
not going viral


Hot E-Cousin of rjaylaf

Non Evil E-Twin of stealstrings

E-NEMESIS of deathdrummer
#4
i really don't see why you'd mention the brand of the tire...

other than that it's definitely some sort of poetry you've got going on here. yep.

I want Super Saiyan abilities
#5
i kinda like the mergingthoughts technique in here, but i didn't necessarily like the excessive amount of y's in "awayyyyy". i mean, i get what effect you're going for but in my opinion it was a little cheap. also, i think you relied a little too heavily on the ocean-water metaphor. or, at least a little too heavily for my liking. in the end, i felt like what is really the underlying focus of the poem is muddied by this metaphor. I can't truly get at what this metaphor is alluding to and that's where this poem falls short for me.

it's well written with interesting techniques and a good sense of diction. but i just needed a little more.
here, My Dear, here it is