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#1
No words can describe how shitty tonight was. First off, who the **** plays arabic music in a club? Second, who the **** books an entire ****ing club just for their birthday?, I thought we were just going out, turns out bitch booked a place and invited her prude friends, and last but not least, my ****ing ears are ringing and that wasn't even cause of any drugs. If I actually get tinnitus, I will slap a ho'.


Oh and they actually didn't serve absinthe. That was a definite first.


Share your worst clubbing stories, pit.
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Feb 16, 2012,
#4
Every clubbing experience of mine has been shit. Hate clubbing.
Anyways, I used to work as my friend's assistant. He used to cut hair at a club in Toronto that shut down last year or so. We'd go, work all night, clean up, and be home by 5 in the morning. We figured we'd bring in energy drinks because we'd be dead tired near the end of our shift. Plus, none of us want to pay a shitload for drinks at the bar. Well, once we got caught. We didn't want to waste 10 bucks in energy drinks each, so we downed them before going in. I must have had four tall cans within a minute and a half. I was never affected by caffeine before. I was shaking like Michael J Fox on a vibrator and I could barely go down the stairs. I felt sick. Plus, the music, as always, was absolute shit. Horrible experience.
Last edited by Pagan_Poetry at Feb 16, 2012,
#6
the last time i went to a club, i was challenged to sneak onto the DJ set and put on a lamb of god song

i never turn down challenges, so naturally, best night ever

bad stories? nah mayn, last time a club was approaching boring i left with my friends and it turned out to be a good night
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#7
Had to take a shit.
Went to toilet.
Discovered there was no toilet paper.
Wiped with sock.

Edit: Just read OP. Sucks you didn't have a good night man
Last edited by whoomit at Feb 16, 2012,
#8
Quote by whoomit
Had to take a shit.
Went to toilet.
Discovered there was no toilet paper.
Wiped with sock.


LOL i think you win
#9
Got denied drinks because im cheap and wasn't tipping. Other than that, always a good time! If you aren't having fun in a club, your doing it wrong
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#10
Seal clubbing is quite enjoyable.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

Quote by ErikLensherr

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#11
That time I got it on the head.


/original
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Duke Ellington


I'm sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world. I personally think Europe is the stupidest country.
#12
The worst time was when I got jumped by a bunch of seals and they stole my wallet.
______________________________________________________________________
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#15
Quote by shredder3386
LOL i think you win

They were brand new socks that I'd just got for my birthday from my girlfriend
#16
Quote by snipelfritz
One time the seal got away.

It's ok
Check out my punk band!!! Lizard on the Window We found a drummer and are now recording.

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#17
I hate clubs... I get sober quick, and I'm not paying $4 for a shot of whiskey.

I'll take a regular old party or bon fire any day.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#19
Quote by blizzboy
It's ok

No worries. It's not as bad as the time everybody copied my joke...
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#20
one time i was dancing with this drunk chick and she bled on my leg from her vagina
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#22
No clubbing experience has been a good one, though I've never had any serious shit. I remember one night of going upstairs in a club to this more social "lounge" area which holds a kareoke and gives free flavoured vodka shots to everyone who has a go. Yet literally no one does it, so me and a mate did it from about 10pm til nearly midnight and had somewhere near 20 shots each. My legs gave out at the top of the stairs when we left and I slid all the way down on my knees.
Wrecked like a bitch the next morning.
#23
I got too drunk and passed out on the club couch. Nothing too seriously bad though.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#24
had a gay guy try to dance with me. I got outta there, went to the smokers area rooftop, found my mate and drank some shitty over priced beer.
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#25
Quote by sacamano79
Got denied drinks because im cheap and wasn't tipping. Other than that, always a good time! If you aren't having fun in a club, your doing it wrong

Big room where you go deaf and are surrounded by pop-collar douches and ugly too-tanned-too-much-makeup jersey shore rejects?

Nah I'm good bro. The bar is my scene.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#26
Quote by snipelfritz
One time the seal got away.

I came here to make the same joke.
I smoke like Rasta, got hair like pasta
I be sippin' on them shots then bustin' rhymes like Busta


Load up the bong, crank up the song, let the informa call 911
#27
Quote by naedauuf
Big room where you go deaf and are surrounded by pop-collar douches and ugly too-tanned-too-much-makeup jersey shore rejects?

Nah I'm good bro. The bar is my scene.

bars are soo much better. ive only been clubbing once.. yeah sure, the chick who was grinding all over me was hot, but the treble was too high in the mix and my ears hurt. $8 bor a bourbon, instead of $5...


bars are better.
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#28
Quote by rocknroll93
the treble was too high in the mix and my ears hurt.

yeah what the **** is up with club DJs? This one tonight had seemingly absolutely no control over the EQ.
#29
One time I went to this real exotic club and then the government killed 200 people around me. Shit was weird.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#30
We had a sitting spot in this club in LA which was right beside the VIP, and this player from an NFL team (I don't remember who) came in. His entourage kept telling us we had to move, because we were sitting too close to the VIP and we were telling them to get fucked. Eventually, the drunkest of my friends decided he was tired of this and jumped over the rope and told the football player to call his dogs off.

One of the bodyguards grabbed him and threw him into the wall. We left after that.
#31
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
yeah what the **** is up with club DJs? This one tonight had seemingly absolutely no control over the EQ.

Most of them are shit and barley know how to dj.
Say you dj when all you really do is turn up with some usb decks and know how to work the crossfader = Profits.
#33
It starts like this. Went to two-story club with friends in San Jose, CA. Overly enthusiastic booty-shaking kind-of-attractive-but-kind-of-not girl was shaking all up in my junk on the dance floor. I wanted to get another drink.

--

On top of a lot of drinks prior, I had two AMFs right before I accidentally tripped by not noticing a small two-stair set separating the dance floor and the bar area. Bouncer thought I was too drunk to be there - very strict at that place. He kicked me out. I tried calling my friends, but the music was way too loud inside. Got really pissed off from getting kicked out and started walking home from downtown. By the time I'd made that choice to walk home, those two AMFs kicked in and I was too blacked out to make the right choice in which way to go on the street.

Events following that choice were tad memories of blacking in and out. Ended up taking the wrong way and walked 10 miles, ending up close to where I worked. At the time, it was a big corporate place with secured radio ID doors. I happened to have my ID on me (it's a belt clip ID - wouldn't normally carry it if not going to work) and I thought "hey, maybe I'll go sleep under my desk" lol, but I was too drunk and when I finally blacked in for the final time and realized my crazy fucking adventure, I was about to try and walk five more miles to get home. But then my dad called at 4:30 in the morning, having noticed me not arrived when he went to take a piss at that time. He was like "where the fuck are you?", and in a drunken ramble, I explain to him that I'm five miles away from the house at the intersection of blah and blah, clearly 10 miles away from where my friends were (I was supposed to come back with them lol).

Yeah...

tl;dr. now I'm legendary among family and friends from having tried to walk 15 miles home from downtown while blacked out lol.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
Last edited by darkstar2466 at Feb 16, 2012,
#34
all of them were pretty decent, the last time a was too drunk so i got kicked out by a security guard who noticed. We just went to another, equally good club so it all worked out though.

I don't tend to do retarded shit at clubs, the worst times are when i'm sober and/or bored.
#36
Get a good drunk going, meet people, do different shit, not seeing a problem with clubs
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#37
Everywhere I go is a club. Haaaay.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#39
we have this club about 1/2 hour from my house, and I was there with a heavy metal band once, and I had this chick single me out and try to dance (read: mosh) with me.

Her: 5' 4" (ish), 140 lbs
Me: 6' 3", 225 lbs

Guess how that ended..?

The floor as slippery from booze/water/sweat from everybody, and she was drunk so bad you could smell it on her from a few feet away..so she kept slipping, falling and fgetting hurt, but dammit, she was one persistant bugger..and she kept coming...

Finally, after realizing that maybe falling on the hard floor wasn't as fun as it had first been, she left, with much ado and many an uttered vulgarity.
Quote by Pan-Tallica
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
But theres no reason why i cant be free like a raspberry stuck to the back of a horny elephants ass.

This is maybe the worst comparison in the history of comparisons.
#40
I had just started rolling and turned around to see my two manager's from work walking toward me lol. It was a dubstep show in a bar/pizza place and they were there to get a beer, but having to talk to my employers while wondering how noticeable my saucer sized eyeballs were was not pleasant lol.
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
I once wore that shirt and it got me so many bitches my penis got a rash from gropage.
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