#2
Thanks for the crit. If you could, would you be able to specify where and what parts. I recorded the leads and rhythms in different ways.

Anyway onto "Unidentified Derelict Vessel":

[A] (0:00-0:48): Nice and tense. Guitar tone is very smooth, especially considering those intervals. Nicely done.

(0:49-1:38): Nice groove here. Maybe try something more interesting with the percussion though instead of straight 4/4. Then go into the straight 4/4 when the lead comes in.

[C] (1:39-1:50): 4/4 is starting to get annoying now.

[D] (1:51-2:23): Same as C.

[E] (2:24-2:56): Nice chops! It's the only thing that saves this straight 4/4 stunt you're pulling so far.

[F] (2:57-3:11): This has to be the least inspired riff I've heard in Djent.

[G] (3:12-3:59): Choirs sit well in the mix. The lead guitar doesn't. I suggest bringing it up a bit or pulling the rest of the band down.

[H] (4:00-4:31): Same as F. I really think you've lost interest in the listener.

(4:32-7:32): Didn't like the transition either. I'm bored again until 5:09. Will this piece have vocals? Then my interest subsided after that played a few times without any major deveolpment.

Honestly I really wasn't a fan of the music. If you want my opinion, not many of the themes were repeated, so that didn't really captivate my interest, and most of the rhythms were straight. Try looking up some more exotic rhythms. Also look to other lengthy songs that you admire and see how they're structured as I wasn't a fan of the structure here. Some of my favourite artists that have longer songs/excellent dynamics are Beyond Twilight, Anubis Gate, Exodus, Ihsahn, Machine Head, Symphony X.

From a sonic perspective, it was near impeccable (Except that sweeping part which wasn't up in the mix as much as it could have been). Take the feedback as you will. I think you should try experimenting with new rhythms and more dynamics in your next piece. It will make the music much more lively. Good luck!
Last edited by HaydenHohns at Feb 18, 2012,
#3
Sanj-
Decided to c4c you since mine is instrumental prog rock.. turned out to not be as metal as this though. Nice track man! Reminds me of some opeth stuff a lot. Tight guitar playing. I thought the lead part that started at 1:15ish and went to 1:37 could be improved, it seemed to clash in a bad way.. kinda unsophistocated I guess idk you clearly have chops so i'm sure it sounds exactly the way you meant it to. overall the composition is great, that's just personal taste. The solos are well executed - I wish I could tap like that! Overall great job recording too, the mix sounds fine. All it needs is some vox


C4C:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1520374
#4
Hayden: Wow man, didnt expect that much feedback, thanks. I'l take a lot of that into consideration.

cm88####: Thanks for the crit! I wasn't sure if there was any specific video you wanted me to crit so I ended up watching part 2 of the synth improv. I think it's pretty funky with that synth tone, but drums could change for the better. As for guitar playing, im totally digging it. The jam over the slower groove was pretty killer!