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#2
"She also told hospital staff she was scared of leaving the loo in case neighbours sprayed water at her or threw stones."

Da Fuq
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#3
This is so hot.
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


Free Jani92jani

Free Will Swanson
#4
Meanwhile in China...
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#5
What the hell was going on in the husbands head? Called the cops after 2 years?
#10
What the hell?
Trust me, I'm a Jedi.

Quote by Minkaro
You must control your use of the force, young Trizek.
#11
this is what happens when you eat chinese food
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#14
Wat
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#15
I've fallen asleep on the toilet once or twice, but that's a little overboard.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#17
Irish_Punk13 Approved
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#20
Quote by BVBKilljoy
Has anyone else wondered how the hell she got food?


She obviously ate her turds.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#21
Her husband waited 902 days? I'd be phoning the hospital after a few hours.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#22
Quote by Bushinarin
I've fallen asleep on the toilet once or twice, but that's a little overboard.

I once stumbled in drunk after a gig and fell asleep on the toilet. My dad went into the kitchen and could hear me snoring from there. Next thing I know, I'm being woken up and walked to bed by my parents while shouting "I'M GOING TO SEE MC LARS!!!".


My mum also took a picture of me asleep on the toilet.... -_-
#25
9 seconds
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#28
Quote by LRCGUITAR
These puns aren't funny. Cut the crap guys.

I don't see any puns. Boy, poo you...you must be flushed
#30
Quote by truiteleague
He was obviously playing WoW the whole time.

He's married, he's obviously not a fan of WOW
#31
902 days... That's not nearly enough time to get the seat warm enough.
Harry Potter is DEAD! Ehhhhh heh heeehhhh!!!
-Voldemort
#32
Man...
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#33
O.o
You dirty piece of shit, you.

Quote by FireFromTheVoid
I smoked weed with my mom once.
It was the weirdest moment of my life, and I`ve been caught with my dick in my hand, by my brother, with a giant close up of a dudes face on the tv.

Twatter
#34
Quote by BVBKilljoy
That's, That's just... EWW


How would you know? Have you ever tried it?

I mean, people are so quick to judge how something may or may not taste before they even try it. I remember when I first ate a bit of my own poo, it was scary, yes, but it ended up tasting good. It tastes a bit like mustard and dry pop corn mixed with melted almond chocolate. It's actually not bad. I highly recommend you try it.

Society tries to tell you NOT to eat your own shit, so you can buy their commercialized food to feed the hungry, greedy corporations. However, you can eat your own poo, and it actually tastes rather decent. I dare you to prove me wrong.
#35
Quote by SLEESTAK_BRO
The closest I've come to this was one shitty hour.
icwatudidther
UG's King Neptune

Quote by AtaBorMan
You're the biggest dick we've had in the Pit for a while.
Quote by SLEESTAK_BRO
Stop talking, you have are the biggest dick the pit has seen in a while.
#36
45-60 min

Good book + MASSIVE dump (w/sensitive B-Hole) = No rush to get up
Shit gets caked........sometimes contemplate just jumping in the shower instead, lol...........................

I'm gross
#37
Quote by whoomit
I once stumbled in drunk after a gig and fell asleep on the toilet. My dad went into the kitchen and could hear me snoring from there. Next thing I know, I'm being woken up and walked to bed by my parents while shouting "I'M GOING TO SEE MC LARS!!!".


My mum also took a picture of me asleep on the toilet.... -_-


Well here's a blast from the past, but it needs to be said. Pics or it didn't happen.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#38
I'm on the shitter right now. Plop. Splash.
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
#39
Quote by BeefWellington
I'm on the shitter right now. Plop. Splash.

Keep an eye on those neighbours!
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#40
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
How would you know? Have you ever tried it?

I mean, people are so quick to judge how something may or may not taste before they even try it. I remember when I first ate a bit of my own poo, it was scary, yes, but it ended up tasting good. It tastes a bit like mustard and dry pop corn mixed with melted almond chocolate. It's actually not bad. I highly recommend you try it.

Society tries to tell you NOT to eat your own shit, so you can buy their commercialized food to feed the hungry, greedy corporations. However, you can eat your own poo, and it actually tastes rather decent. I dare you to prove me wrong.


I actually get more of a fluffy sensation, like eating nutella and marshmallow fluff with some sea salt on fresh, hearth-baked wheat bread.

It's incredible. I'll never not eat my own poop.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
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