#1
About a week ago, this (former) co-worker called in to say that he wouldn't be able to make it in, because his grandfather had died. The supervisor told him, no problem, just call us back with the details so we can get your bereavement papers started, and the company will want to send flowers. This was Tues., he doesn't call back. Wed., they try to get a hold of him all day, but no answer. Finally on Thurs., they reach him, but he doesn't have any of the details yet. But he says he'll call back - he doesn't. They call him and he says that just a little while ago, the doctors were able to revive his grandpa.

Unfortunately for him, his supervisor didn't buy that one.
I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.


"To be successful, you need to be a good musician. To be popular, you just need to be fashionable" - Ritchie Blackmore
#2
Cool blog, bro.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
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^ I'm sorry your highness I forgot that I'm subhuman. . .

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Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#3
Ok
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
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Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#4
So?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#5
So I thought it was funny and I'd share.

My bad
I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.


"To be successful, you need to be a good musician. To be popular, you just need to be fashionable" - Ritchie Blackmore
#6
Try Twitter, it suits you.
Quote by behind_you
Ostrich thread would've been much better.

Quote by JustRooster
Alright, alright. Whatever. Here's what I'll do. I'm an evolutionary biology major. When I graduate I'll give her all my text books for your birthday. And I won't even get her pregnant.
#7
Quote by maker's marked
So I thought it was funny and I'd share.

My bad

Your avatar is funnier. Thank you.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#9
Chill guys. The story isn't over. We just have to wait for a newspaper to report the shooting.

You, good sir, have not gone over to your friends house after a hard night of drinking to find 2 dudes passed out in the same room both holding their own flaccid cocks in hand, passed out, with porn on the tv.
#11
Wait, that was supposed to be funny?
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
#12
It's a miracle from God! Your company should have more faith.
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#13
Quote by BeefWellington
Wait, that was supposed to be funny?

^This man.
Quote by behind_you
Ostrich thread would've been much better.

Quote by JustRooster
Alright, alright. Whatever. Here's what I'll do. I'm an evolutionary biology major. When I graduate I'll give her all my text books for your birthday. And I won't even get her pregnant.
#14
Quote by hawk5211


AWH!!!!

THATS MY FAVORITE SITE BRO!!!111! HOW DID YOU KNOW??!11!!
Just another Sheep in the design of the Almighty Machine.


-GEAR-
Gibson 60s Les Paul Tribute (Sunburst)
1999 Ibanez RG470 (TitaniumIce-MIJ)
Jackson RR3 (Trans-Red)
Peavey 6505+
Podx3
#16
thats the best gif I've ever seen.
CuSO4

"I don't have an instrument, I don't have a great voice, I just have some nice clothes maybe." paul rutherford
#17
I'm sorry, but what the fuck is this?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#19
Quote by Ometh
I'm sorry, but what the fuck is this?

It's the zombie apocalypse and you'll all be sorry you made fun of TS. I'm stocking my bunker as we speak. Soon I'll be headed to the ammo shop to pick up some fag rounds for my USAS.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#21
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
I think that whole joke was ruined when you started with (former) coworker

That's like saying "Why did the chicken get to the other side by crossing the road?"

What did he get?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#22
Quote by maker's marked
So I thought it was funny and I'd share.

My bad

made me laugh bro....
Quote by Pan-Tallica
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
But theres no reason why i cant be free like a raspberry stuck to the back of a horny elephants ass.

This is maybe the worst comparison in the history of comparisons.
#24
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
He got a ticket for jaywalking and for being a cockhead.


but you have to admit, he was no chicken when it came to taking risks. His friends were spurring him on, admittedly.
CuSO4

"I don't have an instrument, I don't have a great voice, I just have some nice clothes maybe." paul rutherford
#25
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
I think that whole joke was ruined when you started with (former) coworker

That's like saying "Why did the chicken get to the other side by crossing the road?"


LOL.