Poll: High Divorce Rates
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View poll results: High Divorce Rates
It's a damn shame
34 25%
Mixed; Some good and bad things about it
60 44%
It's mostly a good thing that's happening; it's indicitave of good things
29 21%
Other
12 9%
Voters: 135.
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#1
If you look at divorce rates over the past 20 years it's really nothing special, but compare it to the 1950s or so, and it's relatively drastic.

I've heard a lot of people say things about how it's a shame, people don't know what true love is as much, marriage isn't being taken seriously as much anymore, etc.

Yet on the other hand, you could say that couples were just as unhappy in the 50s as today, if not more so, however there's much less shame in a person being divorced as there was back then. Perhaps it's a good thing that people are less likely to spend their life in a shitty unhappy marriage because they don't want to have the title of divorcé(e), which was often embarrassing or shameful.

ITT: What do you think of the high divorce rates? Is it a shame? Not such a bad thing? What are some things you'd attribute it to?
#4
does anyone have any links to "reasons" why divorce rates have jumped? im sure there are studies
#5
Quote by The Madcap
Yet on the other hand, you could say that couples were just as unhappy in the 50s as today, if not more so, however there's much less shame in a person being divorced as there was back then. Perhaps it's a good thing that people are less likely to spend their life in a shitty unhappy marriage because they don't want to have the title of divorcé(e), which was often embarrassing or shameful.



/thread
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#6
It's all these empowered women refusing to accept their position in society.


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Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
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#7
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
does anyone have any links to "reasons" why divorce rates have jumped? im sure there are studies

the reason most often given in psychology class is that its because its more socially acceptable to get a divorce, and people go into marriage with the attitude of "well, if theirs problems we can always just get a divorce"
#8
Quote by The Madcap
If you look at divorce rates over the past 20 years it's really nothing special, but compare it to the 1950s or so, and it's relatively drastic.

I've heard a lot of people say things about how it's a shame, people don't know what true love is as much, marriage isn't being taken seriously as much anymore, etc.

Yet on the other hand, you could say that couples were just as unhappy in the 50s as today, if not more so, however there's much less shame in a person being divorced as there was back then. Perhaps it's a good thing that people are less likely to spend their life in a shitty unhappy marriage because they don't want to have the title of divorcé(e), which was often embarrassing or shameful.

ITT: What do you think of the high divorce rates? Is it a shame? Not such a bad thing? What are some things you'd attribute it to?


This is the most important part so i say its a good thing.

The only negative reason is that maybe the ease of divorce makes people far too eager to make such a huge commitment knowing they can just divorce their way out of it later, like the whole Kim Kardashian thing.

Still, I lean more towards 'good thing' by a mile.
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#9
i think its bad to get a divorce when you have kids. you shouldnt have kids if you plan on divorcing your spouse. i think it shows a lot when parents stick together for the kids.
#11
I think divorce can be a good thing. My parents are divorced and while they are a bit worse off financially, they are both much more happy since they ****ing hated each other. I am pretty happy the negative stigma associated with divorce is going away since it makes marriage a significantly less restricting bondage that can force people to live a lifestyle they dont necessarily want to live.
#12
My parents would not have met had it not been for divorce from their former spouses. Therefore, I would not have been born and exist as I do today. So divorce it up!
#13
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
i think its bad to get a divorce when you have kids. you shouldnt have kids if you plan on divorcing your spouse. i think it shows a lot when parents stick together for the kids.
I agree and disagree. Divorce can be very harmful for children, and perhaps parents should try harder to make it work, but at the same time, it's just as harmful for a kid if their parents have a shitty marriage and stay together all the time, but always fight and hate each other. It makes it harder for them to be a good parent, too. I've talked to people with divorced parents and for plenty of them it wasn't too hard to deal with. Besides, nobody plans to divorce.
#14
thats true, but in a perfect world, the parents should be as responsible and mature as possible and not fight.
#15
Divorces have increased because back in the day divorce was based on 'fault' i.e. adultery or assault etc. Nowadays it's about not blaming each other for the marriage breakdown, but just settling things and moving on, which is good. I wouldn't necessarily say that high divorce rates are a good thing, but the way in which divorce is handled now is much better than it was previously.
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#16
I'm surprised at how often people get married. I can't believe there's so many people who decide "yes, I want to see this person every single day for the rest of my life". It should happen 3 or 4 times a century, tops.
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#17
There is no single answer. Lost jobs and reduced income play a part. Lower salaries and lower wages take their toll.

I agree with Dory77 - that is no fault divorce is a good thing.

There are other points previously mentioned but I believe these factors were not mentioned yet.
Smile when you say that.
#18
the question is why the **** these people even get married before divorcing?

edit:not that marriage is really a bad thing it just shows how stupid the people getting divorced are though
Last edited by dazed60 at Feb 27, 2012,
#19
Quote by dazed60
the question is why the **** these people even get married before divorcing?


You have to be married to get a divorce.
#20
Quote by MaddMann274
You have to be married to get a divorce.


Truth.

At OP. I think it's kinda sad.
"You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore"
#23
Quote by Ironic Maiden
People need to learn how to pick spouses better, you dumb bastards.



Sometimes people just naturally grow apart. People aren't immalleable beings. The person you fell in love with 15 years ago may not be the same person you are married to now. That's not to say that there aren't plenty of people that rush into marriage because 'omg im so in luv'.
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#24
Quote by StewieSwan
Sometimes people just naturally grow apart. People aren't immalleable beings. The person you fell in love with 15 years ago may not be the same person you are married to now. That's not to say that there aren't plenty of people that rush into marriage because 'omg im so in luv'.

People don't change like that. They just don't. You're either too blind to have seen that side of them 15 years ago, or chose to ignore it, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal.

The media, society and other important factors have led people to have delusional, all perfect, or completely imperfect forms of love.

Love isn't perfect

Love isn't imperfect

Love is a compromise between the two. It's experiencing new things, sharing common interests or beliefs, and most of all, trust.
#25
People have higher expectations these days. Back then it was expected that the sex life would dry up and you would never get to fulfill all your horrid nasty fantasies. Nowadays with the internet and women being more sexually liberal its easier for people to walk away from marriages and seek 100% satisfaction with a good chance of success. There's less stigma about having many partners and many people dont want kids and its no longer frowned upon to be a single parent so there isnt much incentive to stay in a lifelong commitment.

EDIT: I might add that being a gold digger is almost a wise career move with the divorce courts the way they are so its quite easy for a women to go into a marriage, divorce the guy quickly and make a huge profit
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Last edited by Eggmond at Feb 27, 2012,
#26
Quote by Ironic Maiden
People don't change like that. They just don't. You're either too blind to have seen that side of them 15 years ago, or chose to ignore it, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal.



I'm definitely not the same person I was 15 years ago. Are you?
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#27
Quote by Ironic Maiden
People don't change like that. They just don't. You're either too blind to have seen that side of them 15 years ago, or chose to ignore it, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal.


Too blind? Tell you what, when we've all figured out how to become psychic, maybe that argument won't be utterly fucking laughable.

So yeah, at what age do peoples' personality traits become fixed in time and unchangeable?
#28
I think too many people are counting on marriage as a sort of relationship insurance policy. It goes both ways, you don't have to love someone to get married, and you don't have to get married if you love someone. That just proves that the aspects of love and marriage aren't really intertwined with each other. They are associated which each other, and can be merged together successfully, but there's nothing to prove that they are beneficial to each other. I know people that have been friends of our family for years and years now; he was in the Navy for years, now retired, and she does freelance photography and graphic design work, they have two kids, real nice kids. They never got married, they never got engaged, they don't even have rings. And they've been together since high school, they're in their 50s now.

Divorce rates are so high because marriages are over-exaggerated or taken too lightly. Either way, people have a huge misconception of what marriage is and what it represents. Some view it as a religious emblem for them, while some see it as an official confirmation of their lifelong commitment to their love for each other. Some people just use it as an insurance policy, they try and hide it, but deep down they know their own truth. Either way, it can always go wrong, it's only natural.
#29
It's a damn shame for divorces to happen during a child growing up, but after they become somewhat independant, it really doesn't matter. And not speaking about formal divorces, those are just some paperstuff anyway, but spliting up.
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
#30
Divorce is always a good thing, in my opinion. It shows that people are willing to accept that they have moved apart from their partner, and that they acknowledge that that chapter of their life is over. Of course it can be sad, but it's better than lingering on in an emotionless marriage. The idea that people who get divorced are somehow lower than those that stay marriage is stupid, it just shows that they're intelligent and adult enough not to hold onto something futile.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#31
The problem with making divorce too easy is that in doing so you make it harder to actually resolve issues between a couple.

Why fix things when you can just go get another?
#32
Quote by seabear70
The problem with making divorce too easy is that in doing so you make it harder to actually resolve issues between a couple.

Why fix things when you can just go get another?


Yes, people who get divorces don't give a **** about their partner and are just looking to hop on the next opportunity.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#33
Quote by Todd Hart
Yes, people who get divorces don't give a **** about their partner and are just looking to hop on the next opportunity.

That is not the point.

Easy divorce makes marriage disposable. It's easier to walk away from it than to work on it, and the only people served by easy access to divorce are divorce lawyers.

Personally, I think anything that aids a lawyer should be banned, but that's a whole different subject.

But really, if you have a problem with your wife, why talk to her about it, why work things through?

Heck, why even think things through before you marry her? You can always just dump her at the first sign of trouble.
#34
Quote by seabear70
But really, if you have a problem with your wife, why talk to her about it, why work things through?
You make it sound like it's the simplest thing to do.
ggg1 ggg3

.
#35
Quote by behind_you
You make it sound like it's the simplest thing to do.


It is.

I've got two brothers with three divorces each.

They chose marriage in the heat of the moment, and chose divorces rather than work things out.

Realistically, you'd think they would have learned after the first or second, but because it was so easy to just walk away they never bothered.

One's working on a fourth divorce, the other is living in a group home for brain injuries. (The brain injury was after the divorces, long after the divorces.)
#36
I think it is good for those families who would have just been trying to fit in, but I think the rise in divorces can at least be partially contributed to the mindset of the average western woman and how it has changed in the past century.
#37
Quote by seabear70
It is.
You can't assume this unless you have been married before.
ggg1 ggg3

.
#38
Quote by behind_you
You can't assume this unless you have been married before.


I have, but since when has lack of experience or relevant knowledge disqualified anyone's opinion on this board?
#39
Quote by seabear70
I have, but since when has lack of experience or relevant knowledge disqualified anyone's opinion on this board?
Opinions can never be disqualified, so I don't know what you're on about.

Also, I'm not questioning you opinion.
ggg1 ggg3

.
#40
I've been married to the same woman for almost 20 years, so I think I'm qualified to speak on this.
In my opinion, there are only a couple of legitimate reasons to get divorced - infidelity, abuse, or if one of the married couple has a destructive addiction, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc., that they refuse to deal with.
Too many couples just give up on their marriage for the wrong reasons. And too often, people rush into getting married., without realizing how serious a commitment it is.

Marriage is (at times) the hardest relationship I've ever dealt with. But if you find the right person to share your life with, it can be the best.
I'd like to help, but not as much as I'd like not to.


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